Have you faced any of these circumstances recently?
Feelings of emotional and physical exhaustion.
The desire to withdraw from social activities or find ways to leave a party early.
Lack of motivation and enjoyment in previously pleasurable activities.
Hopelessness, helplessness, and negativity about the future.
An unusual number of headaches, muscle pains, and sleep disturbances.
They just might be signs of burnout - the state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged or excessive stress, characterized by feeling drained, cynical, and ineffective at work and in other roles.
I’m a psychologist; I know about work burnout, but my work is writing now - from home, when I want, and I love it. Why are those feelings creeping in, and what can I do about them?
The challenges of the past ten years catching up with me could be a possible reason. It started when my husband of 60 years began struggling with memory loss. After surgery and a nine-day hospital stay, from which his memory never recovered, I reluctantly and resentfully started taking over more and more areas of our lives.
We stumbled along until COVID arrived. Then, I was his primary caregiver until I couldn’t do it any longer. We found a memory care facility for him, where he died.
Then I was a single older woman building a new life and living on my own for the first time - handling all the household duties, developing a newsletter, and doing my best to age well. I was managing and floundering.
What I didn’t know is that burnout in later life is a real and impactful experience. It can stem from a loss of purpose, social isolation, financial worries, and health challenges that may accompany retirement or later life stages. Together, those two factors may have collaborated to get my attention.
After reading many articles, I determined that a possible next step might be to reclaim my purpose, my power, and my peace.
According to experts, that means taking back something that was already mine, but had gotten buried over time. They explain that purpose gives our life direction, power is our ability to take action, and peace is our birthright. It requires that we let go of what weighs us down and let curiosity discover what lights us up.
When we talk about regaining our purpose, power, and peace, we’re reconnecting with the most genuine parts of ourselves - releasing what no longer serves us and stepping into the life we are meant to live. They propose the following.
Reclaiming Our Purpose
Our purpose needs to align with what makes us feel alive and fulfilled. We can figure this out by:
Asking ourselves reflective questions, such as: What are the moments in life when I’ve felt the most alive? What gifts or passions do I naturally bring to the world?
Reconnecting with values means identifying what truly matters to us and using them as our compass.
Taking One Small Step because purpose often becomes clearer as we act on it.
I redefined my purpose after my husband died. It included aging well as independently as possible, sharing what I’ve learned with others, and supporting my family. This purpose continues to motivate me today.
Reclaiming Our Power
I’m referring to our personal power - the ability to influence others and make things happen. It isn’t about controlling others or forcing outcomes; it’s about confidently living in alignment with who we are by:
Setting clear boundaries. Protecting our time, energy, and mental well-being by saying no to what doesn’t align with our priorities.
Prioritizing wellness. Nourishing our bodies with healthy food, lots of water, regular exercise, and intentional rest allows us to thrive. A thriving body supports a strong sense of self.
Celebrating our resilience. Reflecting on moments when we overcame challenges reminds us of our inner strength.
I’ve identified three ways that I was giving up my power: needing to do things perfectly and to please others, and by doubting my ability to manage life as a single older woman.
Reflecting on those past years, I can honor my resilience. Today, I’m also protecting my well-being by saying no more often. However, this new awareness is a work in progress.
Reclaiming Our Peace
Peace doesn’t come from having a perfect life; it comes from learning to navigate life’s imperfections with grace. To regain it, we can:
Identify what’s stealing our peace: Is it overcommitment, self-doubt, or unresolved conflicts? Recognizing the source is the first step toward addressing it.
Create moments of stillness: Even five minutes of deep breathing, prayer, or quiet reflection can restore a sense of calm.
Let go of perfectionism: Accepting that things don’t always have to be perfect opens the door to a more peaceful mindset.
The ones I’m focusing on are acknowledging my need for perfection, monitoring the way I respond to others, becoming aware of how I give my power away and to whom, and observing how I spend my energy.
It feels as if taking those steps can help me age well.
Janice Walton is a psychologist, a widow, a mother, a grandmother, a great-grandmother, and a writer. She has written articles for Substack for four and a half years.
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Did you know that burnout in later life is a real and impactful experience? It can stem from a loss of purpose, social isolation, financial worries, and health challenges that may accompany retirement or later life stages. I didn't!
Elizabeth Gilbert says that perfectionism is fear in high heels and a fur coat! I love this analogy. Abd well done to you for saying No more often. It's a very useful skill