I’m just still very happy to still be here. My dogs get me up to feed them in the morning, make me go out to walk them — and keep me company all day. Really says it all. I could complain - but I’m the only one that can change anything, so I just do what I need to do when I need to do it. Only thing I can’t quite magic out of nowhere is money. So sometimes things I’d like to do aren’t feasible, but staying home with the dogs and baking a cake make up for almost anything!
Lately, I’m into caring and sharing; caring without boundaries and sharing with no filters, other than love and kindness. Also, I’m into run-on sentences.
My complaint on aging is primarily focused on ageism as I have no problem with aging itself.
Aging and longevity have come a long way, evolving from the stereotyping and pigeon holing of the past where the image and disparagingly phrases like a doddering old fool, shuffling along on a cane or walker of people in advanced years.
More seniors are physically and mentality fit, and we deserve to be treated as such.
This prejudice and discrimination against individuals solely based on our ages/appearance is pervasive, manifesting through negative stereotyping and attitude can have serious consequences on our well-being and on how we are treated or viewed in the future.
Yes, many are infirmed, disabled, in poor health and need assistance for whatever reason, but the trend is that more people are becoming more physically and mentally fit in their golden years.
Hi Bill, Ageism is a troublemaker, that's for sure. I totally agree with your comment, "we deserve to be treated as such." I would also hope others would take the time to know me - my strengths and weaknesses, rather than lump me in an arbitrary category.
Agreed that ageism is everywhere. I think it's important to recognize it, reject it, and call it out when we see it. I've been on a mission to address the ageism around physical activity programming.
You said it so well. Ageism is a huge factor and so cruel and unnecessary. And like you say the stereotype is outdated too.
As for the question about what i do when i find myself complaining…i’m not always able to as sometimes it’s just a kind of low level background music to my day! But discussions like this and meeting other minds - can help me feel hopeful and better! So i guess the answer in some ways is a community to grow with!
One of my issues in aging is being disappointed -- that although I have wonderful children & grandchildren -- my family didn't quite turnout as I thought it would. I imagined a fun family that would love to get together, go on vacations together, etc. Although I've tried a lot of creative ways to encourage that, I can't make it happen. I think it's time to accept that my dream is not theirs. I know acceptance can be a wonderful thing...
Hi Jan, I know what you mean about family, hopes, and dreams. I have fantastic children like you. I was spoiled because we lived next door to my grandsons for several years, and I was included in everything. But my son and one grandson and their families moved out of the area, so we don't see them nearly as often - and family get-togethers are just not the same. The other grandson is married and has two children; he is swamped. And that is the truth of it - times have changed, and my dream is not theirs, which is as it should be. Acceptance can be easier said than done - I keep finding.
This ageing thing was never hidden from us and the complaining was taught to us well before we got to be this age. Now we get to experience being old first hand. I learned a long time ago about complaining as it soon turns into blaming and there's no cheese down that tunnel. I'd rather take it as it comes and be surprised and inspired everyday by my very personal ageing experience.
I have readjusted my thinking by focusing on and being grateful for what I can do. And I pay attention to my body when it tells me to slow down and ease up. But still, darn it, Janice, I wish I had someone I could whine to ... boo hoo. I swear sometimes I feel like I am seven years old and want my mommie...
HI Sharron - and I want somebody to fix it for me and make it all better. I'm not very good at doing it for myself. I do know that I have so much to be grateful for. I picked up on your earlier idea of starting my morning, remembering everything I can appreciate. Thank you for that.
Nearing 87 years with few complaints and many good stories to tell … but… procrastination is my downfall! I’m making yet another attempt to organize my remaining days imagining all that will be lost to my family if I don’t follow through and get it done before I die… which could be another 16 years like one grandmother, or already, like my other grandmother.
Hi Karen, Boy, I sure know about procrastination - there is so much I could - even want to do = in terms of organizing, cleaning out, and starting fresh. Maybe next year.
That is a task it is far too easy to put off because it is difficult. There never seems to be a right time to sit down and get on with those pesky tasks. I have been looking at the benefits of Swedish death cleaning as a way to get into it. Like most things, once you get going, it is easier to get on with it.
Aches, pains and the dwindling of remaining time can be paralyzing factors for us older folks. I have found the antidote in pursuing creative activities (writing, writing, and more writing), helping family and friends, and volunteering for worthy causes. If I'm thinking of others, I have less time to perseverate and hold yet another pity party. Being active and helping others is the miracle cure!
Hi Jordan, I'm with you on that - writing, writing, writing. My daughter just began fostering kittens 'til they are ready for adoption, so I'm sure a part of that is in my future.
Complaints reimagined as venting into crisp cold air:
But truly--Five facets of healing I focus on right now. Right now, being any moment of any day, without deadlines.
1. Healing physically. If I'm not good, how can I help others? Duh!
2. Healing emotionally: Lifelines not deadlines. Some of the worst circumstances have (surprise!) turned out to be challenging but ended up being confidence builders.
3. Intellectual: doing crosswords, Wordle, etc., to remain confident that I'm not becoming an Alzheimer's person, or some such. brain exercises.
4. Financially healing: what is needed to help me feel secure and more in charge than simply reacting or thinking I've forgotten some detail where I'll have to pay double, or more, later.
5. Relational health: friends, family, etc. everyone. Top priority.
I love thinking about healing and health, instead of dreading it, I'm learning constantly.
Complaining makes sense when something has changed and there is real loss involved. Aging brings limits, uncertainty, and a constant need to adapt, and ignoring that rarely helps. What seems more useful than moaning is treating complaints as signals. They can point to where adjustment, curiosity, or self-compassion is needed. Shifting attention to what still works, pacing the body instead of pushing it, staying engaged as a learner, and allowing values to evolve all feel like active responses rather than passive frustration. Complaints do not have to disappear, but they do not have to run the show either.
I was feeling a bit isolated with old friendships fallen away. Having been widowed once, I'm nervous it will happen again and want to put more energy into building community around me. So we moved to a wonderful small town with like minded neighbors all around who like to gather and that's been heartwarming. I recommend moving!
It's time for a pop-up discussion. Would you be willing to share your thoughts?
I’m just still very happy to still be here. My dogs get me up to feed them in the morning, make me go out to walk them — and keep me company all day. Really says it all. I could complain - but I’m the only one that can change anything, so I just do what I need to do when I need to do it. Only thing I can’t quite magic out of nowhere is money. So sometimes things I’d like to do aren’t feasible, but staying home with the dogs and baking a cake make up for almost anything!
Sharon, your plan sounds lovely.
Lately, I’m into caring and sharing; caring without boundaries and sharing with no filters, other than love and kindness. Also, I’m into run-on sentences.
My complaint on aging is primarily focused on ageism as I have no problem with aging itself.
Aging and longevity have come a long way, evolving from the stereotyping and pigeon holing of the past where the image and disparagingly phrases like a doddering old fool, shuffling along on a cane or walker of people in advanced years.
More seniors are physically and mentality fit, and we deserve to be treated as such.
This prejudice and discrimination against individuals solely based on our ages/appearance is pervasive, manifesting through negative stereotyping and attitude can have serious consequences on our well-being and on how we are treated or viewed in the future.
Yes, many are infirmed, disabled, in poor health and need assistance for whatever reason, but the trend is that more people are becoming more physically and mentally fit in their golden years.
Hi Bill, Ageism is a troublemaker, that's for sure. I totally agree with your comment, "we deserve to be treated as such." I would also hope others would take the time to know me - my strengths and weaknesses, rather than lump me in an arbitrary category.
Agreed that ageism is everywhere. I think it's important to recognize it, reject it, and call it out when we see it. I've been on a mission to address the ageism around physical activity programming.
You said it so well. Ageism is a huge factor and so cruel and unnecessary. And like you say the stereotype is outdated too.
As for the question about what i do when i find myself complaining…i’m not always able to as sometimes it’s just a kind of low level background music to my day! But discussions like this and meeting other minds - can help me feel hopeful and better! So i guess the answer in some ways is a community to grow with!
Hi Emma, I love that - a community to grow with.
One of my issues in aging is being disappointed -- that although I have wonderful children & grandchildren -- my family didn't quite turnout as I thought it would. I imagined a fun family that would love to get together, go on vacations together, etc. Although I've tried a lot of creative ways to encourage that, I can't make it happen. I think it's time to accept that my dream is not theirs. I know acceptance can be a wonderful thing...
Hi Jan, I know what you mean about family, hopes, and dreams. I have fantastic children like you. I was spoiled because we lived next door to my grandsons for several years, and I was included in everything. But my son and one grandson and their families moved out of the area, so we don't see them nearly as often - and family get-togethers are just not the same. The other grandson is married and has two children; he is swamped. And that is the truth of it - times have changed, and my dream is not theirs, which is as it should be. Acceptance can be easier said than done - I keep finding.
This ageing thing was never hidden from us and the complaining was taught to us well before we got to be this age. Now we get to experience being old first hand. I learned a long time ago about complaining as it soon turns into blaming and there's no cheese down that tunnel. I'd rather take it as it comes and be surprised and inspired everyday by my very personal ageing experience.
I'm with you on that "my own personal ageing experience."
And yet, there are common themes that run through all of them. It's what I wrote about in my book. ;-)
I have readjusted my thinking by focusing on and being grateful for what I can do. And I pay attention to my body when it tells me to slow down and ease up. But still, darn it, Janice, I wish I had someone I could whine to ... boo hoo. I swear sometimes I feel like I am seven years old and want my mommie...
HI Sharron - and I want somebody to fix it for me and make it all better. I'm not very good at doing it for myself. I do know that I have so much to be grateful for. I picked up on your earlier idea of starting my morning, remembering everything I can appreciate. Thank you for that.
Bless you, Janice, for being the voice for so many of us.
Nearing 87 years with few complaints and many good stories to tell … but… procrastination is my downfall! I’m making yet another attempt to organize my remaining days imagining all that will be lost to my family if I don’t follow through and get it done before I die… which could be another 16 years like one grandmother, or already, like my other grandmother.
Hi Karen, Boy, I sure know about procrastination - there is so much I could - even want to do = in terms of organizing, cleaning out, and starting fresh. Maybe next year.
That is a task it is far too easy to put off because it is difficult. There never seems to be a right time to sit down and get on with those pesky tasks. I have been looking at the benefits of Swedish death cleaning as a way to get into it. Like most things, once you get going, it is easier to get on with it.
Aches, pains and the dwindling of remaining time can be paralyzing factors for us older folks. I have found the antidote in pursuing creative activities (writing, writing, and more writing), helping family and friends, and volunteering for worthy causes. If I'm thinking of others, I have less time to perseverate and hold yet another pity party. Being active and helping others is the miracle cure!
Hi Jordan, I'm with you on that - writing, writing, writing. My daughter just began fostering kittens 'til they are ready for adoption, so I'm sure a part of that is in my future.
Complaints reimagined as venting into crisp cold air:
But truly--Five facets of healing I focus on right now. Right now, being any moment of any day, without deadlines.
1. Healing physically. If I'm not good, how can I help others? Duh!
2. Healing emotionally: Lifelines not deadlines. Some of the worst circumstances have (surprise!) turned out to be challenging but ended up being confidence builders.
3. Intellectual: doing crosswords, Wordle, etc., to remain confident that I'm not becoming an Alzheimer's person, or some such. brain exercises.
4. Financially healing: what is needed to help me feel secure and more in charge than simply reacting or thinking I've forgotten some detail where I'll have to pay double, or more, later.
5. Relational health: friends, family, etc. everyone. Top priority.
I love thinking about healing and health, instead of dreading it, I'm learning constantly.
Hi Jill, I, too, love thinking and learning about healing and health. Your five facets seem like an excellent idea.
No one listens to me so I don’t. I just mutter to myself.
Hi Robyn, I live with two cats - unfortunately, they get an earful of complaints all too often
Complaining makes sense when something has changed and there is real loss involved. Aging brings limits, uncertainty, and a constant need to adapt, and ignoring that rarely helps. What seems more useful than moaning is treating complaints as signals. They can point to where adjustment, curiosity, or self-compassion is needed. Shifting attention to what still works, pacing the body instead of pushing it, staying engaged as a learner, and allowing values to evolve all feel like active responses rather than passive frustration. Complaints do not have to disappear, but they do not have to run the show either.
I was feeling a bit isolated with old friendships fallen away. Having been widowed once, I'm nervous it will happen again and want to put more energy into building community around me. So we moved to a wonderful small town with like minded neighbors all around who like to gather and that's been heartwarming. I recommend moving!