Courage Before Confidence

The Hidden Path to Self-Belief

I’ve taken many trips with my daughter, son-in-law, and their dogs, Fallon and Ivy, over the past four years. We’ve traveled as far west as Victoria, British Columbia, and as far east as Salt Lake City, Utah, enjoying many adventures along the way. The memories I have and the experiences we’ve shared are priceless.

So, when they invited me to join them on a four-day road trip to Mammoth Lakes in the Sierra Mountains over Memorial Day Weekend, I said yes.

However, just as with the other trips, doubts began to surface a few days before we left. Would my knees hold out? Would the cats be okay? Could I keep up? Would I be safe? Could my 86-year-old body manage this? All the nagging fears resurfaced. Not as loudly as before, but still - there they were. Fortunately, I didn’t talk myself out of going, but it took courage to face those fears once more and enjoy this mini-vacation.

Dictionary.com defines courage as “the quality of mind or spirit that enables us to face difficulty.” It’s not the absence of fear but the refusal to let fear keep us from taking action.

If we let it, fear can stop us from moving forward, taking risks, and making the most of opportunities. In contrast, courage enables us to take risks, pursue our dreams, and achieve what we want out of life.

Susan Jeffers, author of several books, advised that we must feel the fear and do it anyway, which is all well and good, but in my mind, that also requires courage.

I was doing well on the trip, enjoying the snow-capped mountains and rushing waterfalls, and managing the short walks we took easily. However, a challenge requiring courage arose when they wanted to take a six-mile walk to a couple of the lakes along a well-paved path with slight inclines. Six miles, up and down slight grades, they must be kidding. I didn’t want to stay back, and I was afraid to go. Oh Oh!!!

Reluctantly, I said okay and off we went. They were very mindful of me. We walked slowly, had water and power bars, took plenty of breaks, and found places where my son-in-law could pick me up in the car if necessary. It wasn’t.

Some seventeen thousand steps later, we were back in town and ready for lunch. It was an easy walk for them and a semi-easy walk for me. My left knee might disagree, though.

Experts say courage is the ability to act despite fear, and self-confidence is the belief in one’s abilities. I see them as connected. It took courage for me to go on earlier trips, but going on them gave me the confidence to say yes to this trip and to take that walk. Surviving it helped boost that confidence for the future.

The end of the story? The scenery was magnificent, and I had a great time. We had breakfast at June Lake, where the only other visitors were ducks. We came back through Yosemite National Park, played in the snow, got soaked by the spray at Bridal Veil Falls, and arrived home safely.

One of the cats was pouty for a few days, but the other one acted as if I’d never left. I would have missed all of that had I let fear dictate my actions.

Lessons learned, I hope!

• I can do more than I give myself credit for. I‘m probably in better shape today than I was six years ago.

• I tend to talk myself out of doing things that enhance my well-being and enjoyment in life.

• Allowing others to give me a helping hand enables me to have new experiences that I wouldn’t have otherwise.

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Janice Walton is a psychologist, a widow, a mother, a grandmother, a great-grandmother, and a writer. Her book Aging Well: 30 Lessons for Making the Most of Your Later Years is available on Amazon, and she has written articles for Substack for four years.