What Happened to Reserved, Modest & Shy?

An Alternative Definition For Demure

Photo by Rodion Kutsaiev on Unsplash

I’ll probably never be part of the social media culture—the digital world that allows the sharing of ideas and information. It's just not me.

Hearing the most recent definition of "demure" triggered this discussion. My parents, the dictionary, and society taught me it meant being reserved, modest, and shy— 70 years ago. And I was!

Today, there seems to be an alternative definition. Social media says demure means being cutesy, clean, and mindful.

What? I thought being mindful meant focusing on the present moment.

So, I Googled the word and found a new world—one I’m not sure I care about.

Social Media is digital technology that allows people to share ideas and information through texts, visuals, virtual networks, and communities. I think we know that.

Social Media Culture is hard to explain. However, it’s become very influential in recent years. I didn’t realize just how influential.

Social Media Language is a unique style of writing that has evolved on social media platforms and is characterized by an informal tone, brevity, and creativity. Oh!

Influencers on the web are often experts in a specific niche, such as beauty or fashion. Right.

Social Media Influencers have gained a large following on specific platforms by creating content and connecting authentically with their viewers. Really???

To summarize, social media influencers write and connect with viewers on websites like Instagram or TikTok, using specific language to advise people on various topics.

First, we had brat summer. They said it “combines elements of a party girl lifestyle with a polished edge, creating a unique style that goes beyond fashion to embody a particular attitude and mindset.”

I thought a brat was a badly behaved child.

British singer Charli XCX inspired the trend with her hit album. Women are encouraged to accept their imperfections, reject being held to specific standards, and embrace the chaos. From what I can tell, this is an example of the brat look. That color of green seems very popular.

Now, we are moving into demure fall. Social media explains that a very demure girl “isn’t like other girls.” They say she seems to have a more natural look and tries to be mindful, cutesy, and not do too much.

The demure fall trend is the opposite of the brat summer trend. It involves a more sophisticated look, higher necklines, neutral colors, and longer lengths that reflect quiet luxury and old money.

TikTok influencer Jools Lebron defined the term as “being mindful and considerate of the people around you, but also of yourself and how you present to the world.” The ladies in the image below are said to have a very demure look.

I’ll pass! I’d rather stick with the original definition, focus on the present moment, and listen to myself about who I want to be and look like. How about you?

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