Do You Struggle with FOGO?

How to Embrace Aging with Confidence

Did you know that FOGO, or the fear of growing old, is anxiety that usually manifests as an older person worries about physical decline, loss of autonomy, and the unknown aspects of aging? I didn’t!!! So, here is what I’ve learned in a nutshell.

We, as older adults, may experience FOGO for various reasons, such as

• Losing our independence and physical or mental abilities.

• Being unprepared to deal with the practical issues that arise later in life, like what happens when we retire or how we’ll manage when a loved one dies.

• Thinking that life will become dull or stagnant as we age.

• Losing the physical ability to enjoy life, with aching joints, sore muscles, and less mobility as our bodies age.

• Worrying about cognitive issues, such as memory loss or a decline in mental acuity.

That being said, Dr. Catherine Sanderson, author of The Positive Shift: Mastering Mindset to Improve Happiness, Health, and Longevity, writes this.

The way we think about ourselves and the world around us dramatically impacts our happiness, health, how fast or slow we age, and even how long we live. People with a positive mindset about aging live, on average, 7.5 years longer than those who do not.

She recommends ten strategies for cultivating a positive mindset that may help promote better aging. I decided to focus on six of them.

1. Exercise

Exercise is essential because it stimulates brain development and is effective at lowering depression and anxiety levels. The theory says that just moving can make us happier.
I discovered Qi Gong six months ago and have developed a 45-minute routine that seems beneficial.

2. Meditation

Meditation is easy, inexpensive, and free if you use apps on your phone or tablet or have access to YouTube.
I'm not good at meditating, but I’m working on mindfulness - being present and aware of my thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations in the present moment without judging them. Without judging them is the challenge.

3. Be a lifelong learner

Engaging in new activities and ways of thinking is a great way to exercise the brain.
I consider myself a lifelong learner, and I’ve had to learn a great deal more during the past four years as I began a new chapter in my life as a widow.

4. Be giving

Being generous is associated with better happiness and health. People who give their time, talents, and money tend to live longer and have great self-confidence.
I view the newsletter as a way of giving - sharing lessons I’ve learned over the past 80-plus years in the hope that others may benefit.

5. Focus on positivity

One theory suggests that having a positive outlook helps people cope more effectively with stressful situations, thereby reducing the adverse effects of stress on the body.

I’m reminded of the old saying, “What you focus on expands.” In other words, the things we pay attention to, whether positive or negative, will grow in importance and influence in our lives.
Sometimes, that’s easier said than done for various reasons.

6. Get a dog

Research indicates that pets—especially dogs—can offer necessary social support, provide stress relief, help lower blood pressure, and offer other health benefits.
I have two rescue cats, Bella and Bailey, who are a significant part of my support team—there's no doubt about it.

I don’t fear aging. I’m 60-ish, in my mind, and get annoyed when the aches, pains, and forgetfulness of my 86-year-old body slow me down - but it’s a fact of life, and adjustments must be made. So, my plan is to focus on what I can do rather than what I can’t and go from there.

Do you have a plan?

P.S. I would like to welcome all the new subscribers and extend a warm thank you to those who have taken the time to read and comment on the articles over the years.

I would love it if you could share the Aging Well newsletter with others. I want to share the lessons I learned through the years of life and caregiving with as many people as possible, and more than anything, I want to continue expanding our community of readers.

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Janice Walton is a psychologist, a widow, a mother, a grandmother, a great-grandmother, and a writer. Her book Aging Well: 30 Lessons for Making the Most of Your Later Years is available on Amazon, and she has written articles for Substack for four years.