Mandy's Story

Mindset In Action!

Photo by Sean Oulashin on Unsplash

It was 7:30 a.m. on Tuesday, March 16th, 1999, when the phone rang. The baby was coming—my daughter and I were coaches and needed to get to the hospital—her niece, Mandy, was about to be born. Although we are not blood relatives, I think of her and her sister as my granddaughters.

She graduated from college, had a good job, lived with friends, and built a new life in San Francisco.

Last Fall, Mandy thought she was healthy—she felt fine. She’d recently had her annual health check-up, was running half-marathons, had lost weight, had been on a two-week trip to Asia, and was planning another one to Mexico.

She’d been to the doctor for a recurring cough, which doctors thought might be sinus or asthma, but there was no great concern - she could go to Mexico and then make an appointment with a specialist when she got back. However, because the cough remained, she went to a second doctor, who took X-rays.

You can imagine her shock - and ours - when, in November, she was diagnosed with cancer - specifically Hodgkin’s lymphoma - Stage 4. A large tumor inside her chest was encroaching on her lungs and heart. She was 24 years old - how could that be? Why?

Today, the cancer is in remission, but she has chemotherapy every two weeks until June and will be tested regularly for the next five years.

I’ve been with Mandy often during the last five months. We celebrated the holidays together and are currently taking art lessons, but we hadn’t had a chance to talk until recently. Although I sensed she was managing her situation well, she’d accepted the facts and maintained a positive attitude.

Her parting words of our conversation were, “It’s all about mindset, Grandma,” which was ironic because that was the topic of the article I was ready to publish—and if anyone exemplifies the importance of mindset, she does.

She chooses to make the best of a difficult situation - if you didn’t know she had cancer, you couldn’t tell. Of course, there are bad days, particularly after the chemo, but other than that, she leads a relatively everyday life. Two words - or insights recurred in the conversation: gratitude and balance.

Mandy could have stayed in bed, felt sorry for herself, and had others care for her, but she chose a different route. She does everything possible to help herself and find the positives in this experience.

She reads about cancer and has joined an online group - the information she gained has dispelled many myths and misinformation and helped her plan a course of action.

She is grateful for many things.

• Continued support from friends and family - who send flowers, text, check with her regularly, and offer help in numerous ways.

• The top-notch medical treatment she is receiving.

• To be here - wherever that is at the moment.

Her mindset is one of thankfulness and finding the good, despite or because of the situation.

After the chemo ends and her doctor releases her, Mandy plans to travel to Portugal and Spain. She also wants to move back to San Francisco and find a job after the first of the year. She sees 2024 as the year to get healthy and 2025 as the year to move forward. So, she has goals for the future and is taking steps toward meeting them.

Before the diagnosis, Mandy felt that she was too busy, but the cancer and treatment forced her to slow down. She is getting reacquainted with family and friends and realizes that she likes making puzzles, painting, and reading.

She enjoys her “alone” time and realizes the need to balance being busy with having quiet time to regroup.

Mandy focuses on what she can do and solutions. She seems to take the downtimes in stride and persevere. She doesn’t want cancer to define her.

She seems to have a growth-oriented mindset - using this experience to learn, accomplish new things, and remain positive and resilient.

I’ve learned valuable lessons from Mandy as she handles a challenging experience gracefully and calmly.

The first week of April is Adolescent and Young Adult (AYA) Cancer Awareness Week, so our interview turned out to be timely.

According to the National Cancer Institute, about 89,000 young people (ages 15 to 39) are diagnosed with cancer each year in the United States—accounting for about five percent of cancer diagnoses in the United States.

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