I finally figured out what’s been frustrating me so much lately: it’s those darn electronic devices.
I really needed to learn to use my iPhone, iPad, and iMac effectively. It seemed critical given the changes, upgrades, and scams that keep popping up. The phone is an ongoing problem. My fingers don’t hit the touch screen keys cleanly, and my eyes don’t see as clearly as they did. Then there’s the computer keyboard. It had options I didn’t need or use and I’d had it for so long the numbers and letters were unreadable.
Furthermore, there didn’t seem to be up-to-date instructions online or they weren’t straightforward enough for this non-technology person to understand.
And then there’s AI. It’s growing so fast, and there’s so much to learn. I kept putting off working on those seemingly insurmountable projects for various reasons - or excuses.
But my thinking recently changed. I now want to improve my computer knowledge and learn to use AI. What happened? I realized that spending the time to properly use those devices and learn more about AI should be a priority because it supported my purpose and my desire to have a quality life at this age.
Below, I compare what I’m finding as an 88 year old single woman - no that’s not a typo, my birthday was yesterday - with the general advice experts give.
Experts say older adults don’t want task-oriented assistance. But that’s what comes with learning technology.
What I’m Finding:
When I first wanted to learn more about technology, I asked AI for help.
In those discussions, it became clear that I really wanted to learn to use my devices more effectively.
Finally, it boiled down to understanding that I wanted to learn the necessary skills for meeting my goals of aging well and writing articles and books.
Instead of taking on the nightmare called technology, I was able to identify a specific focal point and reason for pursuing it.
Assistance was easier once I figured that out.
Experts say that as older adults, we often experience greater emotional stability, better mood regulation, and a stronger focus on positive information compared to younger years.
What I’m Finding:
If we were to think of this in terms of technology, I don’t agree. Technology highlights my limitations: stiffness in my fingers, distractions, and double vision.
Those devices used to infuriate me. They just didn’t work the way they “should.”
Right now, I don’t have greater emotional stability, better mood regulation, or a stronger focus on positive information compared to my younger years, but I will as I learn. It’s an enormous project.
Experts say aging provides a unique window to transition from external achievements—like career status, material wealth, or social validation—toward cultivating deep, internal meaning.
What I’m Finding:
It seems as if our sense of self and self-worth play a major role. For me, technology was chipping away at mine.
I’m trying to figure out what a “deep internal meaning” looks like.
It seems to develop as we set our own benchmarks, evaluate our own performance, and break the habit of looking for outside praise.
So, a work in progress - for sure.
Experts say that by shifting our focus toward long-term intentions, we can adapt to life's unpredictable moments while preserving our capacity to live meaningfully.
What I’m Finding:
Questions I’m considering now include - what do I want to continue doing?
When I identified a solid reason for wanting to improve my skills, I no longer saw it as a something I had to do but something I wanted to do which, in turn, changed my attitude.
A question to consider is this “what are you passionate about doing that would motivate you to do what it takes to achieve them.”
Please let your friends and family know about the Aging Well Newsletter. I want to share the lessons I’ve learned over the years of life and caregiving with as many people as possible, and, more than anything, I want to continue expanding our community of readers.
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Dr. Janice Walton is a psychologist, widow, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and writer. She has written articles for Substack for the past five years and recently published a book, The Insider’s Guide to Aging Well Through the Eyes of an 87-year-old.
The Insider’s Guide to Aging Well brings together many of the ideas and themes we’ve discussed. It’s not separate from the newsletter, which is my primary focus, but an extension of it—a way to collect the articles in one place for those of you who may find that format more useful.
This link takes you to the book on Amazon. All proceeds will be donated to the Alzheimer’s Association in my husband’s name.
arise.
Is there something you are so passionate about that you would be motivated to do what it takes to achieve it even though you don't particularly want to like exercising regularly? staying on a healthy diet?