Ah, Janice... it is up and down, over here, a couple steps up, a couple steps back.... but as they say in Italian "Sempre Avanti". Keep on going! Thanks for the boost!
It seems to be getting harder and harder to get an appointment, to get the treatment one needs. Sometimes it feels like I may die before they get me on the calendar! If we do not advocate for ourselves, who will? I don't mind making a pest of myself if it means I will get the care I need...
Since moving to another state the first available appt with my new PCP is February! I’ve already had an issue and they told me to go to Urgent Care. Ugh. The new normal.
One thing I am learning is to remember to laugh, at myself and with others. Last week, we found that my wife's cancer, which we thought was long gone, is making a comeback, so I wrote this in response:
Hi David, I was a fan of the McGuire Sisters, and loved that song. I'm also sorry to hear about the recurrence of your wife's cancer, and I wish her the best.
Great post Janice. I'm recovering & doing well after my emotional exhaustion brought on by a decade of trauma & grief & it's taking me some time (still a WIP!) to realise my mental outlook & my physical capacity & energy levels have changed. They needed to though because my "pushing through" ended up costing me my health for a while. So I'm becoming far more self compassionate since I DITCHED (almost 💯) the inner critic & It's made such a difference!
Love your update & reading your take on life.. 10 years further along than I am! Go well!
Wise beyond wisdom! Yes, and accept it as you have noted some of the tiny and huge barriers to our aging well.
I get pissed off when I'm having a huge issue, and I never want to talk about my HARD health issues. What if I'm not around anymore tomorrow? Even specialists have not identified why I have seizures and bite my tongue so hard I can't chew. It happens in the middle of the night. Not often...but???
I don't want those issues because I don't want to worry others.
Great points Janice. My dad is 96 and still active. I would add having a hobby or sense of purpose and being part of a community. For me (and dad), we share a love of gardening, creating beautiful spaces that bring joy to others. As residents and visitors pass by dad's retirement gardens filled with colourful fragrant blooms, a bird bath attracting wildlife and garden art, conversations start up, creating a sense of community. Dad still has a pair of secateurs in his back pocket as he wanders around with gloves and a bucket in his retirement village pruning, planting and picking flowers and chatting to other residents. Giving pleasure to others often rewards us with deeper satisfaction, meaning and joy in our own. 🌻🪻
Thank you for sharing such an honest perspective. I really appreciate how you hold both the wisdom and the challenges of ageing. At 68, I’m learning many of the same lessons; it feels less about getting it “right” and more about staying curious and compassionate with ourselves.
This is a beautiful and profoundly wise piece, Janice.
You've done more than just list good habits; you've provided the architect's maintenance manual for the inner self. Each point you raise is a critical system that requires conscious, ongoing attention.
What makes it so powerful is your honesty - that the architect must still tend to their own foundation, no matter how wise they become.
Hi Tom, Thank you so much for your kind words. What an excellent way of putting it; "the architect must still tend to their own foundation, no matter how wise they become." I'm a psychologist at heart and by profession, and erroneously thought I could handle all that came my way during my husband's four-year struggle with dementia, his death, and then the rebuilding of a new life. I couldn't have been more wrong. Compacency isn't the wisest of options, I've found.
That's so generous of you, Samantha. I'm so glad the framework resonated.
It's a perfect example of how different perspectives can illuminate the same core truth. I'm thrilled to have you as part of the community and look forward to learning from your work as well. Thank you.
From my vantage point as an 86-year-old, I’ve identified some habits that might be beneficial as we age.
Ah, Janice... it is up and down, over here, a couple steps up, a couple steps back.... but as they say in Italian "Sempre Avanti". Keep on going! Thanks for the boost!
I always appreciate your articles. They give me great perspective as a caregiver of aging parents. 🙏
Hi Kirsten, That's good to hear.
Thank you Janice!
Agree! AND find good docs, get more than 1 opinion and self advocate.
Hi CK, what great additions to the list! Thank you!
It seems to be getting harder and harder to get an appointment, to get the treatment one needs. Sometimes it feels like I may die before they get me on the calendar! If we do not advocate for ourselves, who will? I don't mind making a pest of myself if it means I will get the care I need...
Hi Sharron, I couldn't agree more. And that's what it takes - being the squeaky wheel for as long as it takes.
Since moving to another state the first available appt with my new PCP is February! I’ve already had an issue and they told me to go to Urgent Care. Ugh. The new normal.
Yes, same here. I hardly ever get to see my GP. It's urgent care OR wait three to four months...
One thing I am learning is to remember to laugh, at myself and with others. Last week, we found that my wife's cancer, which we thought was long gone, is making a comeback, so I wrote this in response:
Last week was a dilly
So, I need to come up
with something silly
to offset the fear
That is lurking way too near
How about some laughs
about my latest musical gaffes
I love to listen to the McGuire Sisters
No longer A-listers
And I really dig John Prine
Not exactly prime-time
And I’ll never do heavy metal
which would test my mettle
So, I’ll go listen to “Sugar Time”
and feel oh so sublime
Hi David, I was a fan of the McGuire Sisters, and loved that song. I'm also sorry to hear about the recurrence of your wife's cancer, and I wish her the best.
Great post Janice. I'm recovering & doing well after my emotional exhaustion brought on by a decade of trauma & grief & it's taking me some time (still a WIP!) to realise my mental outlook & my physical capacity & energy levels have changed. They needed to though because my "pushing through" ended up costing me my health for a while. So I'm becoming far more self compassionate since I DITCHED (almost 💯) the inner critic & It's made such a difference!
Love your update & reading your take on life.. 10 years further along than I am! Go well!
Hi Denyse, That is a massive piece of the healing process, I think, ditching the inner critic.
Wise beyond wisdom! Yes, and accept it as you have noted some of the tiny and huge barriers to our aging well.
I get pissed off when I'm having a huge issue, and I never want to talk about my HARD health issues. What if I'm not around anymore tomorrow? Even specialists have not identified why I have seizures and bite my tongue so hard I can't chew. It happens in the middle of the night. Not often...but???
I don't want those issues because I don't want to worry others.
But I've got them.
Now for those stretching exercises!
And I'm back in the US of A.
But that's another story.
Merci bien.
We go to 100 healthily, right?
That's my goal!!!
Great points Janice. My dad is 96 and still active. I would add having a hobby or sense of purpose and being part of a community. For me (and dad), we share a love of gardening, creating beautiful spaces that bring joy to others. As residents and visitors pass by dad's retirement gardens filled with colourful fragrant blooms, a bird bath attracting wildlife and garden art, conversations start up, creating a sense of community. Dad still has a pair of secateurs in his back pocket as he wanders around with gloves and a bucket in his retirement village pruning, planting and picking flowers and chatting to other residents. Giving pleasure to others often rewards us with deeper satisfaction, meaning and joy in our own. 🌻🪻
Hi, that sounds absolutely lovely. It sounds as if your Dad has a purpose, a hobby, and provides pleasure to many.
Thank you for sharing such an honest perspective. I really appreciate how you hold both the wisdom and the challenges of ageing. At 68, I’m learning many of the same lessons; it feels less about getting it “right” and more about staying curious and compassionate with ourselves.
Hi Denise - curiosity and self-compassion - that seems to be a winning combination.
Yes, I used to be my own worse critic, now I'm so much kinder to myself, and I retain a childlike wonder for everything! time to relax now x
This is a beautiful and profoundly wise piece, Janice.
You've done more than just list good habits; you've provided the architect's maintenance manual for the inner self. Each point you raise is a critical system that requires conscious, ongoing attention.
What makes it so powerful is your honesty - that the architect must still tend to their own foundation, no matter how wise they become.
A truly wonderful piece of work.
Hi Tom, Thank you so much for your kind words. What an excellent way of putting it; "the architect must still tend to their own foundation, no matter how wise they become." I'm a psychologist at heart and by profession, and erroneously thought I could handle all that came my way during my husband's four-year struggle with dementia, his death, and then the rebuilding of a new life. I couldn't have been more wrong. Compacency isn't the wisest of options, I've found.
That's so generous of you, Samantha. I'm so glad the framework resonated.
It's a perfect example of how different perspectives can illuminate the same core truth. I'm thrilled to have you as part of the community and look forward to learning from your work as well. Thank you.
Such good, practical advice - thank you, Janice!
Thank you, Erica.