Navigating the Healthcare System Begins Within

The Relationship With Ourselves Shapes Our Stress or Dignity as Patients

Photo by Grahame Jenkins on Unsplash

How do we want to be when involved with the healthcare system, whether it be a doctor's visit, a hospital stay, surgery, or figuring out insurance claims?

It’s easy to focus on the external factors—the doctors, the diagnoses, and the decisions being made. But over time, we might notice that something else plays an important role: how we relate to ourselves in general, and how it applies in those situations.

Moments of uncertainty, dependency, or feeling overlooked can quietly intensify stress and erode our sense of control. Yet it’s often our relationship with ourselves—how we prepare, respond, and remain grounded—that determines whether we move through them with confusion and fear or with clarity and dignity.

My plan has been to find other ways - and that’s worked well so far, but what if my best attempts aren’t enough and I must use those services? Maybe, it would be wise to prepare for such an eventuality.

Experts warn to watch for red flags such as feeling ignored, interrupted, or rushed, having our concerns dismissed, sensing a lack of empathy; and encountering unprofessionalism or refusals to explain treatment options.

What I’m Finding:

• In some cases, those worries are valid, particularly when a lack of empathy and dismissing of concerns are involved.

• However, I always thought “they” knew best and didn’t question their decisions. I plan to be much better prepared now.

Experts suggest that we prepare for a doctor's appointment or hospital stay by bringing a list of medications, medical records, insurance cards, and a prioritized list of questions.

What I’m Finding:

• I’m realizing how much self-induced stress I’ve created regarding such circumstances. I haven’t taken the time and energy to create the lists, document and research concerns, or establish a relationship with a primary care physician.

• When in fact, completing those activities just might reduce the stress, support me in being as independent as possible for as long as possible, and help me preserve my dignity in settings where it could get lost.

Experts explain that the healthcare system will always have complexities, and there will be moments when we feel uncertain, dependent, or out of our depth. These experiences are real and can’t be entirely avoided. But they don’t have to define us either.

What I’m Finding:

• If I’m well-prepared and have a working relationship with a doctor, I might be more comfortable as a patient.

• However, I still question whether or not the professional would have time for such a relationship or if I can trust them completely.

• Listening to my body and intuition typically could add important information.

• Using positive self-talk and encouraging rather than scaring myself would also be helpful.

The way we relate to ourselves—how we prepare, how we respond, and how we remain grounded—can help us move through such situations with greater clarity and a steadier sense of who we are. In that sense, navigating healthcare is not only about managing the system, but about maintaining our dignity and exercising our agency within it.

Please let your friends and family know about the newsletter. I want to share the lessons I’ve learned over the years of life and caregiving with as many people as possible, and, more than anything, I want to continue expanding our community of readers.

So, forward this email and invite them to join us. They can subscribe here:

Dr. Janice Walton is a psychologist, widow, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and writer. She’s been writing a newsletter on Substack for over five years and recently published the book, The Insider’s Guide to Aging Well - Longevity Through the Eyes of an 87-Year Old.