Dan and I had a comfortable life. We lived in a lovely apartment, had two cuddly fur babies, and online jobs; our family was nearby, and we took small trips. Life was good! I was confident and protected.
However, that changed five years ago when we noticed Dan was having memory problems, which emergency surgery worsened. I cared for him at home for four years and then had to find a memory care facility where he died of COVID.
If you met your husband when you were 12 and were married for 63 years, he is deeply entwined in your life, memory, and heart. If you were best friends and did most things together - you lose a part of yourself.
His death forced me out of my comfort zone and into a smaller one, where I felt safe only in the apartment with the cats and went nowhere by myself.
I’ve been alone for four years, and it feels like it’s time to move from that safe space. Family members support and include me in their activities. I’m healthy and have numerous hobbies. My eyes, ears, and knees aren’t as good as they were, but for the most part - I’m healthy and ready to go.
So, I wanted to find ways to build a new comfort zone.
A Forbes Article suggested 18 Actionable Tips For Stepping Out Of Your Comfort Zone.
However, I liked the approach of the deceased author and lecturer, Dale Carnegie, better. In the article Don’t Break Out of Your Comfort Zone – Expand It He said.
Most people spend much of their day in what is known as the ‘comfort zone’. This is a safe space where we know what to expect and have a confident grip on how we operate and achieve results.
The good news is that you are not your habits, and your comfort zone is something that can be stretched and controlled through deliberate effort and intentional thought.
So, it’s not about my building a new comfort zone but learning to live outside the current one. OK!
I plan to discuss a few ideas in future articles, but for now, I’m following the message from a recent
post.With that in mind, I went with family members to Monterey Bay a few weeks ago, had a delicious lunch, and walked about six miles from the Aquarium through town and back. We’re planning trips to New York and Salt Lake City to visit family, and I’m making a schedule to emerge from my narrow comfort zone gently. We’ll see how that goes.
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The good news is that you are not your habits, and your comfort zone is something that can be stretched and controlled through deliberate effort and intentional thought.
Oh, boy.....my comfort zone has been pretty much obliterated over the past four years, but I'm learning to be more adaptable and find the blessings in the change! I'm glad that photo resonated for you, Janice. I appreciate your posts and perspectives!