Pitfalls to Aging Well
Common Problems That May Arise
A week after Dan died, I sat in my office, at my computer, thinking about what I wanted my new project—this newsletter—to be about.
We planned to age well together, and we did for a long time, but now it was up to me to continue on my own. I did not want my family to go through what I’d just been through as a caregiver and widow — or anyone else’s family, for that matter. Maybe sharing what we learned along the way would be helpful.
When I started this new chapter of my life, I presumed I’d encounter pitfalls such as poor health, loss of purpose, boredom, and lack of money.
That was almost four years ago—over 1,300 days. Many things have changed since then, and I wondered if my imagined pitfalls were valid.
Today, I’m healthy, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t aches, pains, and things I can’t do as easily as I once did. I’ve had eye surgery twice and struggle with dry eyes and tinnitus. Despite my best efforts, that seems to be part of the aging process. Still, I keep going, eat thoughtfully, and continue exercising. It's not really a pitfall, but they get in the way at times.
My purpose had been caring for Dan, which was true throughout our marriage. We cared for each other. Defining a new purpose was important, so after thinking about it, I decided it would be to spend more time with family, write a newsletter, travel, and improve my art. So far, those choices have served me well, kept me very busy, and remain my plan for the future.
Dan was interested in finances and the stock market, so money was not an issue—but I didn’t know it then. The pitfall was my lack of knowledge; I didn’t know what we had, how to access it, or what to do.
Today, I’d add two additional ones. The first one is coping with the feelings that visit daily—from sadness to anger and back again—not only because I’m on my own but also because my body is aging and I can’t do all the things I could or might want to do - like driving. The second is a better understanding of our finances, legal paperwork, accounts, and passwords. I’m still figuring it out.
These articles about healthy aging might encourage everyone on this journey.
The Mysteries of Aging Well. This refers to moving beyond traditional physical and cognitive health assessments to encompass a more comprehensive understanding of aging.
Live long, be well: Science-based Tips for Healthy Aging - It’s a time to celebrate getting older.
What Do We Know About Healthy Aging? Many factors influence healthy aging. Some, such as genetics, are out of our control. Others—like exercise, a healthy diet, going to the doctor regularly, and taking care of our mental health—are within our reach.
The past four years haven’t been easy, yet I appreciate my progress. I’m headed in the right direction, and I continue to figure it out.
In the next post, I’ll review what worked and what didn't—the assumptions I made then and how they look today.
P. S. I’d love to have you share the Aging Well Newsletter with others. I want to bring the lessons I’ve learned through my years of life and caregiving to as many people as possible. More than anything, I want to continue to expand our community of readers.
So please forward this email to a friend and invite them to join us. They can subscribe here:
If you want to contribute to my work, consider donating to the Alzheimer's Association. This link takes you to their website. The choice is yours.
When I started this new chapter of my life, I presumed there would be pitfalls such as poor health, loss of purpose, being bored, and insufficient money. That was almost four years ago—over 1,300 days. Many things have changed since then. I wondered if my imagined pitfalls were valid.
Thoughtful as always! Thank you!