Acceptance Gained

After Years of Resistance

Photo by Chase Lewis on Unsplash

In early May, I went to Yosemite despite my fears and excuses. Last Thursday, my daughter and I flew to Salt Lake City to spend Mother’s Day with my son and his wife. We got home on Monday. Two events stood out besides visiting with them and eating delicious food.

1. We visited a Mormon Temple, open to the public before being dedicated. It was a magnificent, inspiring building in every respect.

   

2. The other event was a hike in Ensign Peak Nature Park - a somewhat steep and craggy climb. As you can see, the weather was gorgeous, the temperature was perfect, and I was determined to get to the top.

You might wonder how two trips in ten days could provide a step forward in my pursuit of acceptance - but they did.

I’ve often talked about my struggle with the concept. However, a new definition has helped: acceptance means knowing something is an unchangeable event and, at the same time, moving forward in a positive direction toward a better life.

Whether I like them or not, my unchangeable events are: I’m 85, a widow building a new life, and living independently.

During the past week, I found a way to accept my situation and move forward - by not longing for what was but by focusing on what I can do right now.

• I proved to myself that I’m capable of physical activity beyond what they say a typical 85-year-old can do. I walked five miles at Yosemite, hiked the trail to the top, and played a little pickleball twice - the single after-effect was a sore knee.

• My goal has been independence, but I can only do so much alone. I would not have gone to Salt Lake by myself; I could not have climbed that hill without assistance and would have missed out on a memorable weekend.

• These understandings led to my accepting of my situation - an older single woman.

  • I can do more than I thought, but it does require taking better care of myself as I age.

  • Being completely self-reliant is not possible. I can do only so much, and then I can accept the help of family and friends without feeling guilty about it.

Insights gained over those ten days make a difference. If I challenge the excuses, acknowledge that I can do more than I thought, and accept the help of others as needed, I can move forward and age well.

The hike to the top of the hill was worth the effort - the view was spectacular. The Great Salt Lake is in the far distance.

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If you want to contribute to my work, consider donating to the Alzheimer's Association. This link takes you to their website. The choice is yours.