A comment about that powerful little word "YET": A few years ago I asked my mother, “Ma, what do you think the meaning of life is?” She sat quietly a few seconds and said, “You know, I have asked myself that question for 96 years. The answer hasn’t come to me yet.” Darn it! That was one question I really hoped for an answer to, but I loved it that she said it hadn’t come to her YET. She remained optimistic to the end of her days. That is what the word "yet" is -- an affirmation of optimism.
Janice you are a gift from God. How I wish I could just carry you in my back pocket. The tapes that I run through my mind each day are far from encouraging. I have listened to them for 68 years and you would think by now I would just give up on being Wonder Woman. I haven’t come close ever. It makes it that much louder in my head. How I wish to turn them off.
Hi Susan, I'm a little late here, I thought I was getting notifications when there were comments, but not all of them I guess. I sure know about those tapes . . it is a day by day, hour by hour battle to shut them up sometimes.
I think of my inner critic as a drill Sargent. Oh and it’s a male. I have come to enjoy staring him down. That’s my mental trick. Thanks for a thoughtful article.
I absolutely loved this email you put together! I am doing a workshop on self-care for the caregiver next month and I got so many ideas from you! Thank you kindly!
Hi Lisa, I'm a little late here, I thought I was getting notifications when there were comments, but not all of them I guess. Thank you so much and I hope the workshop went well.
Oh so true! Nice article, Janice. Thanks! I use the little trick of carrying a picture of myself as a child in my billfold, and I look at it whenever I become too self-critical. I would never talk to or treat a child -- my inner child -- the way I talk to my grown up self. Just a mental gimmick, but it seems to work. At least it changes the dialogue -- for awhile. xoxo
Hi Jan,I 'm a little late here, I thought I was getting notifications when there were comments, but not all of them I guess. That's a great idea - thanks for sharing it.
Hi Janice. Well done for realising that you need to be nicer to yourself. I've been learning this lesson too. It is one of the profound benefits of my illness. Take care x
Hi Janice! Thank you for getting back to me! I wondered if I could speak to you about a matter that concerns my 82-year-old dad and financial abuse from his ex-wife. Are you up to a conversation about that? I am also doing a workshop, called self care for the caregiver, and he thought you might have some ideas on that for me.
Love it Janice. I also have considered this question. Why doesn't my knee respond to my cycling every day like it used to. Come on body - keep up, when it should be - take time to recover. I don't know if I'll ever get used to it.
Hi Robyn, I'm a little late here, I thought I was getting notifications when there were comments, but not all of them I guess. Right - "you should", "you should", "you should."
Hi Douglas, I'm a little late here, I thought I was getting notifications when there were comments, but not all of them I guess. My apologies!!! You have shared so many comments, I didn't realize were there. If I could learn to to not listen to my critical self-talk - my days would be much better.
Mindfulness has been a really useful tool for me as an at-home parent. It’s easy to get caught up in the monotony and frustrations that can come with caring for little ones.
I also love the idea of “yet.” I’ll be incorporating that.
In my experience individuals who are accomplished are often too hard on themselves. I don't measure up here. I don't measure up there. But most often that is not at all objective and they really do measure up. They are often outstanding individuals and their best is always enough. They just don't give themselves enough credit. My bet is your best is plenty and you need to give yourself more credit
Hi, I'm a little late here, I thought I was getting notifications when there were comments, but not all of them I guess. My sincere apologies. Thank you for that last statement - I hope so.
Lots to ponder here, Janice, and to rejoice about. The role of every perfectionist is to be hard on our own selves. The remedy is to...
...Well, there' you've got me. I don't have a clue! But I did enjoy this piece. I try not to look too deep into my psyche, mainly because I'm too busy beating myself over the head, either for getting it wrong, for almost getting it wrong, or for not doing it at all in case I might get it wrong.
I'm going to read your piece again in hopes that much of it will sink in. Thanks!
A comment about that powerful little word "YET": A few years ago I asked my mother, “Ma, what do you think the meaning of life is?” She sat quietly a few seconds and said, “You know, I have asked myself that question for 96 years. The answer hasn’t come to me yet.” Darn it! That was one question I really hoped for an answer to, but I loved it that she said it hadn’t come to her YET. She remained optimistic to the end of her days. That is what the word "yet" is -- an affirmation of optimism.
Janice you are a gift from God. How I wish I could just carry you in my back pocket. The tapes that I run through my mind each day are far from encouraging. I have listened to them for 68 years and you would think by now I would just give up on being Wonder Woman. I haven’t come close ever. It makes it that much louder in my head. How I wish to turn them off.
Hi Susan, I'm a little late here, I thought I was getting notifications when there were comments, but not all of them I guess. I sure know about those tapes . . it is a day by day, hour by hour battle to shut them up sometimes.
I think of my inner critic as a drill Sargent. Oh and it’s a male. I have come to enjoy staring him down. That’s my mental trick. Thanks for a thoughtful article.
I absolutely loved this email you put together! I am doing a workshop on self-care for the caregiver next month and I got so many ideas from you! Thank you kindly!
Hi Lisa, I'm a little late here, I thought I was getting notifications when there were comments, but not all of them I guess. Thank you so much and I hope the workshop went well.
Oh so true! Nice article, Janice. Thanks! I use the little trick of carrying a picture of myself as a child in my billfold, and I look at it whenever I become too self-critical. I would never talk to or treat a child -- my inner child -- the way I talk to my grown up self. Just a mental gimmick, but it seems to work. At least it changes the dialogue -- for awhile. xoxo
Hi Jan,I 'm a little late here, I thought I was getting notifications when there were comments, but not all of them I guess. That's a great idea - thanks for sharing it.
Hi Janice. Well done for realising that you need to be nicer to yourself. I've been learning this lesson too. It is one of the profound benefits of my illness. Take care x
Powerful
Hi Janice! Thank you for getting back to me! I wondered if I could speak to you about a matter that concerns my 82-year-old dad and financial abuse from his ex-wife. Are you up to a conversation about that? I am also doing a workshop, called self care for the caregiver, and he thought you might have some ideas on that for me.
Thank you!
Lisa Lloyd, Sunnyvale, California.
650-387-7520
You truly are making a HUGE difference in many lives. Thank you for getting up and pressing on. You have great words of wisdom.
Love it Janice. I also have considered this question. Why doesn't my knee respond to my cycling every day like it used to. Come on body - keep up, when it should be - take time to recover. I don't know if I'll ever get used to it.
Hi Robyn, I'm a little late here, I thought I was getting notifications when there were comments, but not all of them I guess. Right - "you should", "you should", "you should."
I use a poem I wrote to remind myself that the past isn't present at this time.
"My self esteem was lost,
But I win by not listening to critical self talk.
I then speak to myself,
To remind myself to remind my mind,
The past isn't present at this time."
Hi Douglas, I'm a little late here, I thought I was getting notifications when there were comments, but not all of them I guess. My apologies!!! You have shared so many comments, I didn't realize were there. If I could learn to to not listen to my critical self-talk - my days would be much better.
Mindfulness has been a really useful tool for me as an at-home parent. It’s easy to get caught up in the monotony and frustrations that can come with caring for little ones.
I also love the idea of “yet.” I’ll be incorporating that.
In my experience individuals who are accomplished are often too hard on themselves. I don't measure up here. I don't measure up there. But most often that is not at all objective and they really do measure up. They are often outstanding individuals and their best is always enough. They just don't give themselves enough credit. My bet is your best is plenty and you need to give yourself more credit
Hi, I'm a little late here, I thought I was getting notifications when there were comments, but not all of them I guess. My sincere apologies. Thank you for that last statement - I hope so.
I am certain of it.
Lots to ponder here, Janice, and to rejoice about. The role of every perfectionist is to be hard on our own selves. The remedy is to...
...Well, there' you've got me. I don't have a clue! But I did enjoy this piece. I try not to look too deep into my psyche, mainly because I'm too busy beating myself over the head, either for getting it wrong, for almost getting it wrong, or for not doing it at all in case I might get it wrong.
I'm going to read your piece again in hopes that much of it will sink in. Thanks!
Hi Ramona, I just found this comment today. That's it exactly. Did you find any cures?
LOL. No, not really. I'm terrible at even taking my own advice!
https://writereverlasting.substack.com/p/perfectionism-creativitys-joyless