“Failing to accept reality creates suffering where there is already pain.” This is something that bears more thinking about. It had never occurred to me before. Thank you, Janice.

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Interesting. I am watching my husband who is older than me coming to terms with the slightly reduced capability of an extremely capable person. However, we have decided to focus on what we can do and there is plenty. He is up a ladder trimming the hedges as we speak!! We are making the most of the days we can do things we want to do and enjoying downtime in between. I have watched my 90 year old Dad with a very fragile back play golf twice weekly until recently. He still goes around on his golf cart with his playing mates for the social aspect. He and my 'active' husband are my inspirations.

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Wise words. I will check out the Jack Canfield video. I am also learning to accept my new life and health circumstances. Not easy but I have found in the past that when I deeply accept something, it either changes and/or I don't suffer as much.

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Janice, what do you think releasing a vision or a dream means?

Expressing it? Or rather letting it go, since it won't become true?

As I read "Yes, all my hopes and dreams won’t come true", this Jethro Tull song comes to my mind.

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It is called "A time for everything", and it is the sad realisation that there won't be the time to do all the singer wanted to...


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I read through this entire share including the links and watched the video. It was like attending a therapy session. I can relate to loss, grief, and awareness of the void change leaves. Accepting is an entirely different matter. The worst thing I can say to myself is “ it is what it is” which may in fact be true. The problem is it does not present a solution or fill the black hole the loss resides in. Accepting does not fill the void. This is where I seem to get stuck. I left my career two weeks ago (permanently) after forty plus years of flitting in and out. I chose a career that fit my personality and afforded me freedom but it didn’t fulfill my passion. This emptiness may be seen as opportunity (per Jack Canfield). It’s the place I’ll start from today, anyway. I don’t know where I’m going but I know I can’t go back. Great share, thank you, it was timely today.

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Patti, nice words.

You say that you've chosen a career that fits your personal style, but did not fulfill your passions.

I am in a phase of career change (which is what has brought me to write here on Substack), and working to find a good intersection between my knowledge and skills and my passions.

What would you tell your younger self on the matter, if you would go back in time?

Would be glad to see if I can apply any of your wisdom to my case...

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Thank you for writing this. I have many of these feelings, and the "work in progress" is very true for us all. Too often I find myself coping with my situation. It really hits home. Thanks again!

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What helped me overcome many issues, including overcoming the loss of my mother, was to try to stay in the present moment. Through prayer and meditation I am able to not regret the past nor project into the future.I wrote this poem as a remembrance:

The love I had from you,

I cannot express,

You made my life a success.

I'm lost in my daydream,

I will again hear you say my name,

In the hereafter that we will maintain.

Spelled out in black and white to obey,

I see shades of gray,

I pray for another day.

The pang of sadness procured,

My spirit will rise and I will be cured,

Reminded that our love endured.

Everyone passes to where love surpasses,

To where there is no past tense,

Our love will recommence.

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