Generally speaking, people who wish to age well must create change to keep themselves from being bored. I suspect it’s time for me to do some creating.
I love this so much and can't wait for your upcoming posts! I agree we need to shake it up a bit and try to get in the habit of doing things differently. I sense this will be something I am going to need to work on because I don't even park in a different part of the parking lot at the grocery store, yikes!
Hi Donna, I've been surprised at how stuck in old, irrelevant habits I still am. You and I have probably said this before, but whenever the topic of habits come to mind I think of James Clear's book. It was a life changer for me.
Hi Sharron, It certainly isn't or wasn't the life I planned as a kid, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Life had greater plans for me than I could have imagined.
Oh do I relate to this. First I must comment: I don't need caregiving coaching but I could certainly use art lessons. Your work is stunningly beautiful.
I can't draw, paint, or sketch my way out of a paper bag unless every one out of twenty attempts something magical happens and I create something beautiful, and that I can be proud of. But this hasn't happened since 2014.
When my artistic (I know, art is subjective) ability has completely disappeared (as it has been for the last 6 months, at least), I doodle. That has lost its luster, too.
Now I use coloring books with markers, colored pencils, and crayons. Lately it's been so bad that I'm coloring in a color-by-number coloring book, the lowest of lows. I believe this lack of creativity is due to having little to no geographical inspiration and social isolation. I'm very frustrated with my dried up creativity.
The above are reasons I started my newsletter. I wanted to be a writer my entire life.
Perfection, procrastination, and primordial fear are reasons I didn't move forward with it until last May. Time is marching on. I'm getting older, so I thought "why not?"
I started with expectations that nobody would read anything I wrote or cared what I had to say. The biggest surprise of the newsletter is that my writing is helping me feel appreciated. It counts. Big. I'm meeting writers and readers that are simply wonderful and an added beauty to my days.
But that isn't all to the story. I'm not interested in whiling my days away with crochet, television, shopping, or watching television. And I'm not particularly enamored with volunteering unless I'm working with animals. (Years of working in the glaring public eye changed my energy for the masses.)
I'm passionate about starting a business from scratch and relocating to a place that inspires awe in me.
2024 is on the horizon. I'm hoping (and praying) there is a big turnaround to the good in the above arenas.
I loved this piece. It forced me to face what's on my mind today instead of hitting a walking trail, grocery shopping, or getting lost in a novel on my "off" time. A big virtual hug and an even bigger thank you... you're getting me off to a good start for 2024.
Hi Patti, Like you I'm not interested in crocheting, watching television, shopping or volunteering. I worked for a police department and know about the glare of the public eye. Writing the newsletter has been my salvation as well with art as a hobby. It - the writing - opened the creativity door for me and then I was able to allow myself to try more with the art. Do you know there are tons of youtube videos you can watch and learn from in regard to drawing and painting? Just curious - what kind of business would you like to start?
Hi Janice, Oh I watch videos on art... and learning art is the same for me as learning to play poker online, it doesn't work. I learn best in a real setting. I have zero artistic skills, not conventional art, anyway. So, something fun for me is learning to create digital printable products. The goal is to get a shop (Etsy or Gum Road) and sell enough to use it as a small side hustle. I'm in the process of learning graphic art skills, SEO research, and online retail. I've got the shop up and running with one product listed, a planner. But hoping to build more creative products to sell. I'm giving it one more year. I've been at it since last December. If that doesn't pan out I'll be looking for something else to try. (And again, thanks for that piece, I spent 6 hours today working on my project... great kickstart!!
While your routine sounded very similar to mine, currently there are a couple of differences, including the fact that I've been doing this routine pretty much for 8-10 years, I am now in my 70s, and haven't gotten bored yet. Certainly, having a husband in the house who is doing very similar routine (I describe us as parallel playing because the only thing we actually do together is the tv watching at end of day) helps. But I also am part of a volunteer organization where I do a sort of peer counseling on the phone or zoom, and this happens mostly every day, with numerous different people (and the content of the phone calls differs as well). I find being of service to others very satisfying, but I have worked hard on also not letting it bleed into the rest of my life. Finally, since most of my writing time is fiction, with 2 different series, one historical mysteries, the other near future science fiction adventure, the content of that writing (and research that goes into it) is incredibly varied. And I hate to admit it, but I find the stories I make up in my head and then write down vastly entertaining! Then there is the stimulation of reading numerous substack pieces that also lend variety to my life. But thanks for prompting this evaluation of why I don't feel bored, because it has really made me even more grateful for my life.
Wow, that painting is gorgeous! Yes, please do more of that.
It's easy to fall into a rut. It's comfortable, even when we know we should be doing more. I wake up at different times, depending on how many times I wake up during the night, but my first move after I've turned on the coffee and settled into my favorite chair is to do my Wordle (it's more than a game, it's a competition with myself. I've done 529 of those suckers and my win rate is at 99%. Then I do Connections, which is almost always much harder but I don't keep track of wins or losses so it doesn't matter.
I should exercise more and I know it. There's the real challenge! But I can't say I'm ever bored. The days fly by, faster than I would like, and whatever I don't get done today might get done tomorrow. Or not, if there's something else I want to do that feels more like it.
I think we discount attitude when we look at how older people live. We can't talk people into or out of an attitude. The ones who are happy despite their problems were probably always happy despite their problems. Sometimes the others are just happier being miserable. A look back at their lives would probably show a pattern...
Hi Ramona, That really is the point, I think - attitude . "The ones who are happy despite their problems were probably always happy despite their problems." - or they make changes accordingly.
I am fortunate to be in pretty good health at 73 and helping care for my grandchildren, writing, exercising, volunteering at several nonprofits, and schmoozing, all together make each day pretty interesting. I was bored in the unsatisfying corporate jobs where I relaxed by drinking when I got back from my NYC commute and just fell asleep in front of the TV. This is the best time of my life and I am so grateful! Love your idea of helping caregivers with tech skills. Thanks for your post!😁
I’m seeing first-hand how it’s easy for boredom to set in. My mother is 92, now widowed, and has mobility issues and is losing her sight (wet AMD). She doesn’t hear well, even when wearing her hearing aids.
My heart breaks to see her sitting in the same chair day after day, either sleeping, playing a game on her iPad, or staring into space. She rejects suggestions to get out and about or to play games that actually help increase mental cognition.
Thanks for highlighting aging issues and potential solutions. ❤️
I think part of it *is* depression, but she won’t admit it. She’s grieving, of course. But she won’t talk about it and I don’t ask. She said that her grandmother and mother got through their losses and she’ll be strong like them. 😢
Hi Teri, For what it's worth a couple ideas come to mind: have her draw or paint - get the pain out of her onto a paper - it can be just scribbles. Or have her tell her life story like into a mike, or typed on the ipad, which could allow some of the grief tout. The grief could be more than the loss of a loved one but also of hearing, purpose, abilities, and life style in addition.
Generally speaking, people who wish to age well must create change to keep themselves from being bored. I suspect it’s time for me to do some creating.
Rule out ideas that aren’t productive. Great read!
I love this so much and can't wait for your upcoming posts! I agree we need to shake it up a bit and try to get in the habit of doing things differently. I sense this will be something I am going to need to work on because I don't even park in a different part of the parking lot at the grocery store, yikes!
Hi Donna, I've been surprised at how stuck in old, irrelevant habits I still am. You and I have probably said this before, but whenever the topic of habits come to mind I think of James Clear's book. It was a life changer for me.
I am sure looking forward to the personal family stories, Janice. I would love to hear about the mischief you got yourself into!
Hi Sharron, It certainly isn't or wasn't the life I planned as a kid, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Life had greater plans for me than I could have imagined.
Oh do I relate to this. First I must comment: I don't need caregiving coaching but I could certainly use art lessons. Your work is stunningly beautiful.
I can't draw, paint, or sketch my way out of a paper bag unless every one out of twenty attempts something magical happens and I create something beautiful, and that I can be proud of. But this hasn't happened since 2014.
When my artistic (I know, art is subjective) ability has completely disappeared (as it has been for the last 6 months, at least), I doodle. That has lost its luster, too.
Now I use coloring books with markers, colored pencils, and crayons. Lately it's been so bad that I'm coloring in a color-by-number coloring book, the lowest of lows. I believe this lack of creativity is due to having little to no geographical inspiration and social isolation. I'm very frustrated with my dried up creativity.
The above are reasons I started my newsletter. I wanted to be a writer my entire life.
Perfection, procrastination, and primordial fear are reasons I didn't move forward with it until last May. Time is marching on. I'm getting older, so I thought "why not?"
I started with expectations that nobody would read anything I wrote or cared what I had to say. The biggest surprise of the newsletter is that my writing is helping me feel appreciated. It counts. Big. I'm meeting writers and readers that are simply wonderful and an added beauty to my days.
But that isn't all to the story. I'm not interested in whiling my days away with crochet, television, shopping, or watching television. And I'm not particularly enamored with volunteering unless I'm working with animals. (Years of working in the glaring public eye changed my energy for the masses.)
I'm passionate about starting a business from scratch and relocating to a place that inspires awe in me.
2024 is on the horizon. I'm hoping (and praying) there is a big turnaround to the good in the above arenas.
I loved this piece. It forced me to face what's on my mind today instead of hitting a walking trail, grocery shopping, or getting lost in a novel on my "off" time. A big virtual hug and an even bigger thank you... you're getting me off to a good start for 2024.
Hi Patti, Like you I'm not interested in crocheting, watching television, shopping or volunteering. I worked for a police department and know about the glare of the public eye. Writing the newsletter has been my salvation as well with art as a hobby. It - the writing - opened the creativity door for me and then I was able to allow myself to try more with the art. Do you know there are tons of youtube videos you can watch and learn from in regard to drawing and painting? Just curious - what kind of business would you like to start?
Hi Janice, Oh I watch videos on art... and learning art is the same for me as learning to play poker online, it doesn't work. I learn best in a real setting. I have zero artistic skills, not conventional art, anyway. So, something fun for me is learning to create digital printable products. The goal is to get a shop (Etsy or Gum Road) and sell enough to use it as a small side hustle. I'm in the process of learning graphic art skills, SEO research, and online retail. I've got the shop up and running with one product listed, a planner. But hoping to build more creative products to sell. I'm giving it one more year. I've been at it since last December. If that doesn't pan out I'll be looking for something else to try. (And again, thanks for that piece, I spent 6 hours today working on my project... great kickstart!!
HI Patti, How very cool. Let me go how your project goes.
Will do! And please update when you start your coaching business. I'll be looking froward to reading about it.
Will do!
While your routine sounded very similar to mine, currently there are a couple of differences, including the fact that I've been doing this routine pretty much for 8-10 years, I am now in my 70s, and haven't gotten bored yet. Certainly, having a husband in the house who is doing very similar routine (I describe us as parallel playing because the only thing we actually do together is the tv watching at end of day) helps. But I also am part of a volunteer organization where I do a sort of peer counseling on the phone or zoom, and this happens mostly every day, with numerous different people (and the content of the phone calls differs as well). I find being of service to others very satisfying, but I have worked hard on also not letting it bleed into the rest of my life. Finally, since most of my writing time is fiction, with 2 different series, one historical mysteries, the other near future science fiction adventure, the content of that writing (and research that goes into it) is incredibly varied. And I hate to admit it, but I find the stories I make up in my head and then write down vastly entertaining! Then there is the stimulation of reading numerous substack pieces that also lend variety to my life. But thanks for prompting this evaluation of why I don't feel bored, because it has really made me even more grateful for my life.
Wow, that painting is gorgeous! Yes, please do more of that.
It's easy to fall into a rut. It's comfortable, even when we know we should be doing more. I wake up at different times, depending on how many times I wake up during the night, but my first move after I've turned on the coffee and settled into my favorite chair is to do my Wordle (it's more than a game, it's a competition with myself. I've done 529 of those suckers and my win rate is at 99%. Then I do Connections, which is almost always much harder but I don't keep track of wins or losses so it doesn't matter.
I should exercise more and I know it. There's the real challenge! But I can't say I'm ever bored. The days fly by, faster than I would like, and whatever I don't get done today might get done tomorrow. Or not, if there's something else I want to do that feels more like it.
I think we discount attitude when we look at how older people live. We can't talk people into or out of an attitude. The ones who are happy despite their problems were probably always happy despite their problems. Sometimes the others are just happier being miserable. A look back at their lives would probably show a pattern...
Hi Ramona, That really is the point, I think - attitude . "The ones who are happy despite their problems were probably always happy despite their problems." - or they make changes accordingly.
I am fortunate to be in pretty good health at 73 and helping care for my grandchildren, writing, exercising, volunteering at several nonprofits, and schmoozing, all together make each day pretty interesting. I was bored in the unsatisfying corporate jobs where I relaxed by drinking when I got back from my NYC commute and just fell asleep in front of the TV. This is the best time of my life and I am so grateful! Love your idea of helping caregivers with tech skills. Thanks for your post!😁
Hi Jordan, I think that has a lot to do with it - unsatisfying jobs. Enjoy this time of your life - it sounds varied and fulfilling.
I’m seeing first-hand how it’s easy for boredom to set in. My mother is 92, now widowed, and has mobility issues and is losing her sight (wet AMD). She doesn’t hear well, even when wearing her hearing aids.
My heart breaks to see her sitting in the same chair day after day, either sleeping, playing a game on her iPad, or staring into space. She rejects suggestions to get out and about or to play games that actually help increase mental cognition.
Thanks for highlighting aging issues and potential solutions. ❤️
Hi Teri, it is so hard to see a loved one losing interest in life. Is some of that due to depression? - I know it was with my husband.
I think part of it *is* depression, but she won’t admit it. She’s grieving, of course. But she won’t talk about it and I don’t ask. She said that her grandmother and mother got through their losses and she’ll be strong like them. 😢
Hi Teri, For what it's worth a couple ideas come to mind: have her draw or paint - get the pain out of her onto a paper - it can be just scribbles. Or have her tell her life story like into a mike, or typed on the ipad, which could allow some of the grief tout. The grief could be more than the loss of a loved one but also of hearing, purpose, abilities, and life style in addition.