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I can't even imagine what you must have gone through, Janice. The thoughts, the feelings, the sheer will to carry on--there's so much bravery there. You may not have felt brave at the time, but I'm glad to see you're giving yourself credit for doing what you had to do, for loving Dan for being who he was and not for what he had become.

Caregiving is such a thankless job. All you can do is boost yourself up and go at it day by day.

Peace now, my friend. This is your time. Allow yourself to enjoy it. ❀

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πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ I am a caregiver woman to a woman, who is three years older than I am. This is my third year. She has Alzheimer’s, dementia, and Louis body dementia. Some days are really good and humorous. & other day is really sad and makes me cry. It is a horrible disease. She has lived with it for 10 years now. I see how her family is with her, so loving so caring, but it’s starting to be a toll on them too. Thanks for sharing. I resonated with your story. And thanks for putting it out there. Hugs my friend. Blessings to you. You will survive.

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I think that the best thing you show your readers, Janice, is that grief is long and it is releentless. And the trauma of trying to care for a loved one for a long period of time is deep and often incapacitating. I feel for you, my friend and I can see you are slowly working your way through it by helping others and by challenging yourself. Good for you!

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I am curious Janice, when Dan went into care did you have any sense of relief that you didn't have to be fully responsible for him? It sounds like it was such a blurry, hard time of role adjustments that perhaps relief wasn't in your consciousness.

I think I live in a fantasy world that if I was in this situation I would be ok to be alone so I appreciate you keeping it real and giving me so much to consider.

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I became a caregiver for my mother when I was in my late teens/early 20s when she got sick. I then became her guardian. I had no idea what I was doing at the time. There were few resources on caregiver stress and I find little has changed 20 years later. I think it's vitally important that clinicians and facilities focus far more on the caregiver than they currently do. Good for you for talking about this issue.

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