Thanks for writing this Janice! We’ve seen plenty of friends & family turn into the “angry” stage of life, but knowing we can’t afford $14,000+/Mo. I never asked if there was some drug that would calm the person down so they “rebalanced” a bit (so they could live at home in their later years)?
Fred, that is one thing I would have done differently. Thanks for mentioning it. I would have gotten him to a doctor for meds to calm him down. He was scared, depressed, and angry - who wouldn't be? The meds may have helped calm him down.
A very good friend of mine (Parkinson’s) hated it when the doctor changed his meds, but his phone alarm was set and he took his meds religiously. He was a little foggy once in awhile but other than that he showed no other symptoms.
Thanks for sharing; so greatly appreciate your blog!!
The painting is beautiful, you have talent and it shows. On another note, just reading what you experienced made me anxious. I know I've read details you shared in past articles but this one listed out the frustrations so clearly it was visceral for me reading it.
I'm proud of you. You came out strong on this side of something difficult and tragic. You are an inspiration. I hope you reach more readers. This is a universal topic. You have a unique perspective and luckily the talent and inspiration to share it with others. There are many (caregivers) who might not have made it out to the other side as well-adjusted as you are.
Hi Patti, Thanks for your comment about the painting - it had been something I'd wanted to do for a long time. My daughter lives nearby, and we get together almost daily to paint. Those four years were the worst of my life - if my words could help make it easier for anyone in that position, it would be a plus.
That had to be so hard, Janice, not just the physical work, but emotionally maybe even more so. You probably look at it now and wonder how on earth you ever did it! I hope you're finding peace and joy now. I hope your memories are more about you and Dan as a happy couple, and that you can separate the two, knowing you did what you could and what you had to do.
Rage and anger and grief are all a part of caretaking, even when loving still happens. It's exhausting. On some days it feels impossible. It's what we signed up for. I admire you for wanting to help others navigate that rough, lonely road and to help them figure out where they fit in.
The all-important irreplaceable, unerasable, never to be forgotten "me". ❤️
Hi Ramona, It was the emotional toll that surprised me - I didn't realize I could have such a myriad of feelings in the same hour, and that it would be so draining. Yet there were very special moments and memories during those four years, which I hold onto in addition to the happy early memories.
Hi Janice! From your article, I can tell that you loved Dan a lot, and that through dealing with hardship, taking care of oneself it's important for taking care of others, and that resilience is something that should be practiced; Although I haven't met him, through your stories I felt how important he was and his influence. Though I haven't dealt with grandparents or relatives with dementia, I learned more about how expensive and just taxing the healthcare system is for patients with dementia, as well as your experience as a caregiver. Thank you for sharing us this story!
Hi Ric, Thanks so much for your post. Maybe you already have, but if you subscribe to the newsletter, you should get each new post as an email for free.
My husband, Dan, thought we were making a doctor's appointment for his upset stomach but I knew it was to get help for his memory loss.
Thanks for writing this Janice! We’ve seen plenty of friends & family turn into the “angry” stage of life, but knowing we can’t afford $14,000+/Mo. I never asked if there was some drug that would calm the person down so they “rebalanced” a bit (so they could live at home in their later years)?
Fred, that is one thing I would have done differently. Thanks for mentioning it. I would have gotten him to a doctor for meds to calm him down. He was scared, depressed, and angry - who wouldn't be? The meds may have helped calm him down.
A very good friend of mine (Parkinson’s) hated it when the doctor changed his meds, but his phone alarm was set and he took his meds religiously. He was a little foggy once in awhile but other than that he showed no other symptoms.
Thanks for sharing; so greatly appreciate your blog!!
The painting is beautiful, you have talent and it shows. On another note, just reading what you experienced made me anxious. I know I've read details you shared in past articles but this one listed out the frustrations so clearly it was visceral for me reading it.
I'm proud of you. You came out strong on this side of something difficult and tragic. You are an inspiration. I hope you reach more readers. This is a universal topic. You have a unique perspective and luckily the talent and inspiration to share it with others. There are many (caregivers) who might not have made it out to the other side as well-adjusted as you are.
Hi Patti, Thanks for your comment about the painting - it had been something I'd wanted to do for a long time. My daughter lives nearby, and we get together almost daily to paint. Those four years were the worst of my life - if my words could help make it easier for anyone in that position, it would be a plus.
You’re doing a wonderful job. Thank you.
That had to be so hard, Janice, not just the physical work, but emotionally maybe even more so. You probably look at it now and wonder how on earth you ever did it! I hope you're finding peace and joy now. I hope your memories are more about you and Dan as a happy couple, and that you can separate the two, knowing you did what you could and what you had to do.
Rage and anger and grief are all a part of caretaking, even when loving still happens. It's exhausting. On some days it feels impossible. It's what we signed up for. I admire you for wanting to help others navigate that rough, lonely road and to help them figure out where they fit in.
The all-important irreplaceable, unerasable, never to be forgotten "me". ❤️
Hi Ramona, It was the emotional toll that surprised me - I didn't realize I could have such a myriad of feelings in the same hour, and that it would be so draining. Yet there were very special moments and memories during those four years, which I hold onto in addition to the happy early memories.
❤️💔❤️
All good information! I love your painting…it’s beautiful! Thanks for sharing.
Hi Terri, Thanks so much. My daughter and I try to paint for an hour or so almost every day.
Hi Janice! From your article, I can tell that you loved Dan a lot, and that through dealing with hardship, taking care of oneself it's important for taking care of others, and that resilience is something that should be practiced; Although I haven't met him, through your stories I felt how important he was and his influence. Though I haven't dealt with grandparents or relatives with dementia, I learned more about how expensive and just taxing the healthcare system is for patients with dementia, as well as your experience as a caregiver. Thank you for sharing us this story!
Hi Cecelia, Thank you so much for reading the article
That sounds so hard, emotionally and physically. You did very well to withstand it.
Hi Cali, I think you know the journey as I do. It is not an easy one.
Such a charming, painting, Janice. I LOVE the color palette and the composition. I am so glad you have decided to share your art work with us!
Hi Sharron, Thanks so much, I enjoy sharing the paintings and promise to do more. I'm just a little shy about it.
Hi Ric, Thanks so much for your post. Maybe you already have, but if you subscribe to the newsletter, you should get each new post as an email for free.