This is such a poignant post and in its way - guiding, so thank you for your honesty.
I was once told I was co-dependent. Husband and I are both co-dependent; definitely. It's how we have loved and lived for 47 years. But I'm trying to be independent - to forge my own life so that if he pre-deceases me, I am able to manage and be generally happy (such an ordinary word for a difficult time).
I use my mother as inspiration really. She was immensely codependent but very strong. When Dad died, she grieved until the day she died but she still moved on until that day, with positivity, managing her life in all its facets. Lonely? Yes. Wanting her husband back? Yes. But managing, and always with a smile and placing one step in front of the other. I hope I can be like her when I grow up.
Hi Prue, It's a wise move on your part - building independence in bits and pieces now - so it isn't such a shock in the future. Your Mother sounds like a wonderful role model - for all of us.
Great city. If they don't live there tell them to check out Elmwood Village and Five Points. Two neighborhoods on the Westside right next to one another. Both have be revitalized over the years, with Elmwood Village being further along. Great neighborhoods!
Wonderful piece, Janice. Thanks for sharing it with us. My library, Interloan just phoned to tell me that Luke’s book is waiting for me at my local library. Can’t wait to dig in.
I got choked up reading your take-home lessons from Luke's book. I think you should write a book yourself Janice, because everything you are sharing is so tremendously helpful and inspiring.
It's awesome to hear you say you are going to shift your focus away from what you should have done and focus on how much you did do. From this side of the screen it seems like you did everything you could, with what you had, at a very difficult time.
Hi Donna, Thank you so much. It is amazing to me that a 30-year-old young man could write words that made such a difference. That's a thought - maybe the Substack articles could be the foundation of a book.
Much to unpack, the images are beautiful and... thank you for this beautiful post. You are coming from such a vulnerable place, and yet you show us what gets you through, and gives the rest of us courage to see things in a different light. Thank you.
Thank you Janice for including Luke Russert's here. I will look for his book. He writes beautifully about a subject that pertains to me. I have so much left to learn! Loved your mini travellog, the photos, and the comparison of the ridiculous and the sublime that make up EVERY trip.
This is such a poignant post and in its way - guiding, so thank you for your honesty.
I was once told I was co-dependent. Husband and I are both co-dependent; definitely. It's how we have loved and lived for 47 years. But I'm trying to be independent - to forge my own life so that if he pre-deceases me, I am able to manage and be generally happy (such an ordinary word for a difficult time).
I use my mother as inspiration really. She was immensely codependent but very strong. When Dad died, she grieved until the day she died but she still moved on until that day, with positivity, managing her life in all its facets. Lonely? Yes. Wanting her husband back? Yes. But managing, and always with a smile and placing one step in front of the other. I hope I can be like her when I grow up.
Hi Prue, It's a wise move on your part - building independence in bits and pieces now - so it isn't such a shock in the future. Your Mother sounds like a wonderful role model - for all of us.
Your posts are incredible. So real and moving. Thank you for being so open and eloquent about it.
On a lighter note, Tim Russert is the pride of Buffalo, New York! I grew up in Western New York, just outside of Buffalo.
Hi Rocco, I didn't know that about Tim Russert. My grandson and his wife just moved to Buffalo.
Great city. If they don't live there tell them to check out Elmwood Village and Five Points. Two neighborhoods on the Westside right next to one another. Both have be revitalized over the years, with Elmwood Village being further along. Great neighborhoods!
Wonderful piece, Janice. Thanks for sharing it with us. My library, Interloan just phoned to tell me that Luke’s book is waiting for me at my local library. Can’t wait to dig in.
Hi Carol, Luke's book touched my heart. I hope that you will enjoy it, too.
I got choked up reading your take-home lessons from Luke's book. I think you should write a book yourself Janice, because everything you are sharing is so tremendously helpful and inspiring.
It's awesome to hear you say you are going to shift your focus away from what you should have done and focus on how much you did do. From this side of the screen it seems like you did everything you could, with what you had, at a very difficult time.
Hi Donna, Thank you so much. It is amazing to me that a 30-year-old young man could write words that made such a difference. That's a thought - maybe the Substack articles could be the foundation of a book.
I will check out his book, it sounds like I'll love it.
Wow, Janice! That post was awesome and I truly needed to hear your words of truth and encouragement! Can’t wait to read Luke’s book!
Hi Karen, Thanks so much. I hope you will gain from his book as I did.
Congratulations on the turning point. It sounds like a great trip to the parks
It was -
Much to unpack, the images are beautiful and... thank you for this beautiful post. You are coming from such a vulnerable place, and yet you show us what gets you through, and gives the rest of us courage to see things in a different light. Thank you.
Hi Patti, Thank you for your kind and thoughtful words.
Keep these posts coming. The journey you are on through your grief is so important. I’m glad you’re here sharing your wisdom.
Hi Kristi, Thank you so much - nobody told me it would be such a difficult one.
Thank you Janice for including Luke Russert's here. I will look for his book. He writes beautifully about a subject that pertains to me. I have so much left to learn! Loved your mini travellog, the photos, and the comparison of the ridiculous and the sublime that make up EVERY trip.
Hi Sharron, That's the thing, this 30 year old "kid" expressed my feelings and my struggle so eloquently.
1,500 miles, yet so many important steps for you. My heart feels good for you right now. ❤
Hi Heather, So very true. Thank you!
That’s wonderful, exciting news!!! Hopeful for the rest of us too. {{Hugs}}
Hi Jan, It has been a long journey - coming back to life.