Thriving Solo

Tips for Elder Orphans and Solo Agers

Photo by Hans Eiskonen on Unsplash

After Dan died, I was by myself for the first time - ever. He was in charge of the finances, legal issues, computers, and the master fixer. I didn’t exactly become a solo ager; my family always had my back, but I was responsible in a different way. Now, what was I going to do? What was in place, what did I need, and how would I figure things out?

Four years later, I’m much better informed, but there is still plenty to do. Yesterday, I looked through old paperwork and found an expired credit card and checks. I didn’t know what they were for.

I did a lot of research initially and wrote two articles, Sole Agers and On Your Own. I want to share them again and provide additional information for people in that position.

Reading about the phrase elder orphan was the catalyst for this article, but I was confused! What was the difference between that and a solo ager? An elder abuse lawyer explained it this way.

Elder orphans are those who do not have a spouse or children they can depend on, while solo agers are older adults who live alone and do not have any children.

They seem similar, but the author’s point is well-taken - concerns for either group are often overlooked, poorly understood, and need more attention.

The website Companion For Seniors offers ideas for aging in place.

Major research cited by AARP sugggests that nearly 90% of those 65 or older want to remain in their homes for as long as possible. Aging at home is often significantly healthier, safer, more convenient, and far more affordable than uprooting one’s life and transitioning into institutional care.

As does this website:

Aging Happens. But what happens when a person does not have family or friends close by or can help them when they need more support? Let’s look at what an elder orphan or solo ager can do while they are able to prepare for a future where they can continue to live independently for as long as possible.

The information in the newsletter Aging Independently, which the author wrote in her latest article, may also be useful.

Even U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy declared last year that loneliness is at epidemic levels in this country. ‘The mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day,’ he said.

Yet lack of social interaction is often brushed under the carpet by doctors and those suffering from it.

Hopefully, these articles will give you valuable ideas on how to set yourself or a loved one up for success as an elder orphan or solo ager. I wish I’d been better informed beforehand.

P. S. I’d love to have you share the Aging Well Newsletter with others. I want to bring the lessons I’ve learned through my years of life and caregiving to as many people as possible. More than anything, I want to continue to expand our community of readers.

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Thank you for being part of the Aging Well community.

If you want to contribute to my work, consider donating to the Alzheimer's Association. This link takes you to their website. The choice is yours.