Most People Are Caregivers
In Different Ways and Times Throughout Life
In some respects, I’ve provided care to others my entire life - as most people probably have.
As a child, I took care of my younger brother. As a Mother, I was responsible for my children. As a daughter, I supported my Mom during her health issues.
I worked for a police department and counseled clients, so I served members of the community.
I took care of my husband when he struggled with dementia.
Today, I care for my cats, my adult children, and their families as needed, as well as myself.
In basic terms, a caregiver assists a person or animal who needs help caring for themselves - a child, an adult, a senior citizen, or a pet experiencing short or long-term limitations - that can be due to illness, injury, or disability.
A family caregiver typically describes individuals who care for their family members of origin. But there are also families of choice, including church members, neighbors, or close friends.
My sister-in-law is a widow with few family ties. Her family includes me, her cat, and a group of female friends who support her.
I’ve posted articles about caring for older parents and ailing partners. However, the role applies to many situations. A caregiver can be a 10-year-old making sure her kitten has enough food, a teenager protecting a friend from bullying, a husband caring for his wife who has cancer, a person caring for the next-door neighbor who had a stroke or a parent helping their child deal with anorexia.
Regardless of the situation and specifics, people must take care of themselves first and nurture the mental, emotional, and physical stamina required to care for others.
For years, I didn’t think of myself as a caregiver or realize the many ways I was providing care. Nor did I understand the importance of self-care. That lack of understanding led to burnout - the exhaustion of physical or emotional strength or motivation, usually due to prolonged stress or frustration.
I stopped counseling twice because I didn’t take care of myself first. I made adjustments each time. So, I assumed that I knew better when caring for Dan. Wrong!
People can’t share a resource they lack with others. A critical starting point is taking their mental health temperature. Asking questions such as can provide clues.
How am I doing?
What will help me combat anxiety and worries?
Am I drinking, eating, sleeping, or crying too much?
What do I need to do to stay connected?
The Harvard Review website offers a wealth of information in the article To Take Care of Others, Start with Taking Care of Yourself.
Experience has taught me two things.
Caregiving entails more than I thought.
Putting me first is a must!
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Experience has taught me two things.
1. Caregiving entails more than I thought.
2. Putting me first is a must!
You cannot care for another unless you care for your self first, and sometimes, caring for yourself is the care that another needs. Eating enough, sleeping enough, and laughing enough helps those who love you feel at ease knowing that you are doing fine, which is care enough. And for you to know what others need, you have to know what your needs are too. Thank you for sharing this and noting the importance of self-care.