15 Comments

Experience has taught me two things.

1. Caregiving entails more than I thought.

2. Putting me first is a must!

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You cannot care for another unless you care for your self first, and sometimes, caring for yourself is the care that another needs. Eating enough, sleeping enough, and laughing enough helps those who love you feel at ease knowing that you are doing fine, which is care enough. And for you to know what others need, you have to know what your needs are too. Thank you for sharing this and noting the importance of self-care.

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I couldn't agree more with your points.

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. . .nurture the mental, emotional, and physical stamina required to care for others. yes, yes, yes! I'm finding I don't always see my blind spots. Thanks Janice!

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As I read through your list of examples of caregivers, I said right out loud - TEACHERS! God bless them all for all the care-giving they provide their young students who lack proper parental care and guidance. And the teachers of English to adult immigrants who help their charges with so many new life skills and resources to help them become citizens. You are right, Janice, we are all care-givers. Thanks for this message..

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Sharron, Definitely. . . That was so true about some of the kids I worked with in East Palo Alto during the early 1990's. Many times the teachers were surrogate parents.

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This is an important reminder. I always wonder how this sorts out by gender, too. As a woman, I feel like I’ve been socialized to be a caregiver. Often I like the deep connection it brings to people…and also I wonder about how this falls to women so often in our culture.

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Mary, You make a very good point regarding the socialization of women as caregivers. It does seem as though, men are doing more in that regard now. What do you think?

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Maybe…when my dad was dying, my brother was very involved, alongside me. Small sample: it made it all so much easier, though.

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I read different articles that talk about husbands caring for their wives, too. So, maybe that aspect of caregiving is growing.

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Hoping!

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A great reminder, thank you! I was a caregiver to my late husband for several years, but ignored my own needs. I can see in hindsight, how fragile my own health and mind was becoming during that time. But I felt powerless to do anything about it. I know better now.

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Hi Nancy, At the time, I thought I was taking care of my needs, but now I know it was not nearly enough.

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Hard lessons to learn, but such an important message, Janice. Thank you!

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Hi Cherie, Hard lessons to learn - for sure.

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