On To Solutions
Rather Than Stuck in the Situation
I’ve often written about acceptance and my reluctance to accept certain events. I could acknowledge the facts - but being at peace or OK with them was another story.
A change is percolating. I gained several new insights recently. One came from the Tiny Buddha’s Inner Strength Journal. The author suggested focusing on solutions
to stop dwelling on things you can’t control and take responsibility for what’s within your power enables you to better adapt to change and cope with hardship.
My definition of acceptance was discouraging action, leading to stagnation and - a “woe is me” attitude.
Depending on the circumstances, acceptance alone offers no solution, only more pain in the form of:
I’ve experienced all of them in the past several years. So here is my current thinking.
Acceptance doesn’t have to be the end. It can mean acknowledging the truth—this situation exists - and - it can be a catalyst for change.
If I consider acceptance as something that leads me to look at solutions ; then my focal point changes.
I was stuck - trying to accept that Dan was not here. But asking myself , “now, what am I going to do about it?” opens the door to choices and possibilities.
As the quote says
Today, I can’t change the facts - even though I’d like to. I felt like a victim of circumstances - his death wasn’t fair, and “they” should have done this or that. However, what is - is, he is no longer physically here.
Asking myself, “now what I am going to do about it?” moves my thinking from “poor me” to thinking about living life given this reality.
Then I am at a crossroads -will I continue thinking about ‘poor me’ or put on my big girl pants and take charge? OK - OK I, choose the latter. That’s what Dan would want. I have no doubt.
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