Old Habits to New Choices
Changing My Old Rule About Following the Rules
When I was a child, the house rules were:
Do what I tell you
Follow the rules
Don’t talk back
Don’t ask questions
You’d think I’d have outgrown them by now. I am 85, after all. However, I realized just how alive and well they are recently—buried in long-held habits.
One particular habit—following the rules—was the culprit this time. My apartment complex has rules about using the pool. I was upset because they said a resident could have only two guests at a time. I understand why management initiated the rule—people were having regular parties with many guests taking over the pool.
My daughter, her husband, their son, his wife, and their two-year-old daughter live nearby. My great-granddaughter likes to play in the pool. So, one day a week, the six of us have a picnic lunch, her Dad and Mom play with her in the pool for an hour, and we go home. Everyone has a good time. Sweet, huh?
But no! Management complained about the number of guests I had at one time. I immediately reverted to the old programming - ready to follow the rules and give up special family time. But wait a minute!
We weren’t hurting anyone, very few people were in the pool, and we weren’t rowdy. Why should I, who has lived here for 13 years and been a good resident, have to abide by an arbitrary rule?
In this situation, I’m choosing to break my rule about following the rules and plan to enjoy pool time with my family. Some think.
Maybe so! That’s a foreign concept to me and, truthfully, a scary one, but a good one to build if I want to age well. Can an old dog learn new tricks? We’ll see!
P. S. I’d love to have you share the Aging Well Newsletter with others. I want to bring the lessons I’ve learned through the years of life and caregiving to as many people as possible. More than anything, I want to continue to expand our community of readers.
So please forward this email to a friend and invite them to join us. They can subscribe here:
Thank you for being part of the Aging Well community. If you want to contribute to my work, consider donating to the Alzheimer's Association. This link takes you to their website. The choice is yours.
You’d think I’d have outgrown the house rules from my childhood by now. I am 85, after all. However, I realized just how alive and well they are recently.
Here is an idea - Malicious compliance:
In order to 'follow the rule' find other residents in your complex, ones who do NOT use the pool and ask them to have your family be their invited guests. On the days your family does NOT come over you can sponsor someone else!
Your family will enjoy the pool and you WILL be in compliance!