You’d think I’d have outgrown the house rules from my childhood by now. I am 85, after all. However, I realized just how alive and well they are recently.
In order to 'follow the rule' find other residents in your complex, ones who do NOT use the pool and ask them to have your family be their invited guests. On the days your family does NOT come over you can sponsor someone else!
Your family will enjoy the pool and you WILL be in compliance!
The classic "First Break All the Rules..." was published in 1999, by Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman. As if I needed permission! I have been breaking rules for 80+ years, and yes, I have gotten in trouble more than a few times. There is also the aphorism, "I would rather ask for forgiveness than ask for permission." Show me a rule and I'll show you how to either bend it without breaking or break it without creating an emergency.
I absolutely despise living under an HOA. We are currently under the czar of landscaping... if I could find any rules to break that might get under her skin I'd do so... but unfortunately I'd have to answer to my husband who breaks no rules. And since I'm Mrs., I must keep his name in good standing. Great read, I'm happy you broke the rules. :)
My overriding concern is that this is a good place for me to live. I don't drive but can walk to get most everything I need and the apartment is five minutes from my daughter. We get together often and she is nearby for emergencies. I had to accept the bottom line, they could tell me to move - and I can if I have to.
Oh gosh. That's criminal. I understand rules. But unless there are compassionate, understanding people in charge it can make for very unpleasant living conditions, especially when it comes to using amenities and reaching out.
Speaking of landscaping, my next door neighbor in our mobile home park advised me that he was putting in several marijuana plants behind the fence we share - which is legal in our state, but probably not in our park. I told him I had no problem with that as long as he didn't mind losing a few buds and leaves once in a while...
This is a great reminder that sometimes the rules are meant to be broken. I definitely struggle with this too sometimes, but I agree with you - us older folks can learn new patterns of behavior, especially when they enrich our ability to age well. Thank you for sharing.
I like your resolve here, Janice! Please let us know what happens. I have made a similar resolve where I live regarding guest parking, which is ALWAYS taken up by residents leaving no room for guests (even though they signed a contract when they moved in here that they understood the rules.) I rarely have guests, but when I do I just tell them to park ANYWHERE. I can't wait for the manager to come see me about this transgression. If he'd enforce the damned rules, there would be room for everyone... I will let you know. We old gals have to stick up for ourselves. We are women -- hear us roar! ha ha ha
Sometimes a situation should be looked at individually. We once lived in a temporary apartment and my cousin and her kids came over for a swim. I had no idea about any rules because I always saw a family with at least six relatives in the pool area. I had met the mom once in the elevator. She was part of the building’s subsidized housing program. When my cousin and her kids came for the swim we were told we could only have 2 guests. When I pointed out the other family they wouldn’t acknowledge the unfairness and kicked us out.
If the pundits want us to age well, part of that is including other age-groups in our lives. Goodness! I'd be up in arms about that rule. Keep swimming with your family.
You’d think I’d have outgrown the house rules from my childhood by now. I am 85, after all. However, I realized just how alive and well they are recently.
Here is an idea - Malicious compliance:
In order to 'follow the rule' find other residents in your complex, ones who do NOT use the pool and ask them to have your family be their invited guests. On the days your family does NOT come over you can sponsor someone else!
Your family will enjoy the pool and you WILL be in compliance!
Hi John, I love it!!!!!
Anytime !
Exactly. If I was in your building, I'd totes be happy to "Sponsor" two of your family members.
Great idea!
The classic "First Break All the Rules..." was published in 1999, by Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman. As if I needed permission! I have been breaking rules for 80+ years, and yes, I have gotten in trouble more than a few times. There is also the aphorism, "I would rather ask for forgiveness than ask for permission." Show me a rule and I'll show you how to either bend it without breaking or break it without creating an emergency.
Hi Gary, Maybe that's where it started, I was taught that I needed to have permission. I like that aphorism.
I find your piece inspiring. As one who has been bound by rules
Hi Elyse, Some of those old rules are so deeply engrained - it is really challenging to let go of them.
I absolutely despise living under an HOA. We are currently under the czar of landscaping... if I could find any rules to break that might get under her skin I'd do so... but unfortunately I'd have to answer to my husband who breaks no rules. And since I'm Mrs., I must keep his name in good standing. Great read, I'm happy you broke the rules. :)
My overriding concern is that this is a good place for me to live. I don't drive but can walk to get most everything I need and the apartment is five minutes from my daughter. We get together often and she is nearby for emergencies. I had to accept the bottom line, they could tell me to move - and I can if I have to.
Oh gosh. That's criminal. I understand rules. But unless there are compassionate, understanding people in charge it can make for very unpleasant living conditions, especially when it comes to using amenities and reaching out.
Hi Patti, It's so true.
Speaking of landscaping, my next door neighbor in our mobile home park advised me that he was putting in several marijuana plants behind the fence we share - which is legal in our state, but probably not in our park. I told him I had no problem with that as long as he didn't mind losing a few buds and leaves once in a while...
LOL
Hilarious!!! First laugh out loud today!!! Good one.
Oh and PS: Send all the Comments to management.
I definitely voiced my opinion to Management, which was highly unusual for me.
It’s never too late to start learning to break the rules! Congratulations, Janice!
Thanks Kristi, I'm thinking it's about time!
This is a great reminder that sometimes the rules are meant to be broken. I definitely struggle with this too sometimes, but I agree with you - us older folks can learn new patterns of behavior, especially when they enrich our ability to age well. Thank you for sharing.
I like your resolve here, Janice! Please let us know what happens. I have made a similar resolve where I live regarding guest parking, which is ALWAYS taken up by residents leaving no room for guests (even though they signed a contract when they moved in here that they understood the rules.) I rarely have guests, but when I do I just tell them to park ANYWHERE. I can't wait for the manager to come see me about this transgression. If he'd enforce the damned rules, there would be room for everyone... I will let you know. We old gals have to stick up for ourselves. We are women -- hear us roar! ha ha ha
You betcha. Here we come - watch out.
Sometimes a situation should be looked at individually. We once lived in a temporary apartment and my cousin and her kids came over for a swim. I had no idea about any rules because I always saw a family with at least six relatives in the pool area. I had met the mom once in the elevator. She was part of the building’s subsidized housing program. When my cousin and her kids came for the swim we were told we could only have 2 guests. When I pointed out the other family they wouldn’t acknowledge the unfairness and kicked us out.
Hi, They do end up holding the power - in the long run.
O-My-gosh, yes! Break that rule!
If the pundits want us to age well, part of that is including other age-groups in our lives. Goodness! I'd be up in arms about that rule. Keep swimming with your family.