This is so smart, Janice. You work tirelessly to bring help to those of us who struggle. I am being hard on myself this month, trying something new to get me out of a feel-sorry-for-myself funk. A large note on my fridge says
"Think Gaza. Think Ukraine. Think Syria. Shut up, Sharron. Get over yourself."
And sometimes at night I go out on the porch and gaze up at the immensity of the universe and suddenly my problems seem so very small and I count my blessings.
Hi Sharron, I think that's the bottom line: get over yourself and get on with it, because, as you say, our problems are minimal in the grand scheme of things.
I sat in my favorite chair this morning, looking at the article I wrote about choosing hope over feeling sorry for myself. I was very close to going down that rabbit hole again. The sky was cloudy and gray. My knees hurt, the cat threw up, I couldn’t get the TV to work, and I glanced at the news. Then another idea came to mind.
I’m also trying new approaches to my blue moods. My latest is to view them as weather, cloudy, overcast, stormy weather that I know will pass, but still, how to feel better in the meantime? For me, while not “feeling like it”, just doing ANYTHING anyway, whether it’s going for a walk (this is the best I’ve found), washing my hair, doing a cleaning chore, or even writing in my journal, though that can be too “in my head” to start the noticing of life outside my blue mood that leads me out of it and on to the innate creativity and joy that is life!
I also appreciate your psychological questions approach because looking at underlying thinking that makes me go dark is the key to not continuing to do so! Thanks for shining light on this aspect of life.
Hi Marcia, Doing anything is a great strategy - it gets a person moving and breaks the stream of thought. Similarly, I ask myself, what do I need right now? Sometimes, it's just a shower, a cookie, or a cup of tea, but it somehow breaks the mood.
Hi Janice ~ Do you believe in Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)? I've been trying to blame my low energy, cravings, oversleeping, weight gain, loss of interest on the lack of sun. It's so dreary here in Ohio for several months. We used to go to Sanibel Island for the month of February before the hurricane for a mid-winter pick-me-up. Looking forward to the summer months -- and getting back to the island this next winter. {{Hugs}}
Jan, I do think there is something to SAD, and the lack of light or sunshine. When we lived in Olympia, Washington, we had a lovely home in the woods and plenty of things to do, but I had to get back to California and the blue sky. I also noticed that this winter was particularly challenging in terms of just lethargy and mood. I'm going to have to take care of myself better this year. Sanibel Island sounds perfect.
I am guilty of all of these but especially conflict avoidance! It's a lifetime of work for me to pull my head out of the sand and trust the conflict is an eddy in the stream.
This is so smart, Janice. You work tirelessly to bring help to those of us who struggle. I am being hard on myself this month, trying something new to get me out of a feel-sorry-for-myself funk. A large note on my fridge says
"Think Gaza. Think Ukraine. Think Syria. Shut up, Sharron. Get over yourself."
And sometimes at night I go out on the porch and gaze up at the immensity of the universe and suddenly my problems seem so very small and I count my blessings.
Hi Sharron, I think that's the bottom line: get over yourself and get on with it, because, as you say, our problems are minimal in the grand scheme of things.
I sat in my favorite chair this morning, looking at the article I wrote about choosing hope over feeling sorry for myself. I was very close to going down that rabbit hole again. The sky was cloudy and gray. My knees hurt, the cat threw up, I couldn’t get the TV to work, and I glanced at the news. Then another idea came to mind.
I’m also trying new approaches to my blue moods. My latest is to view them as weather, cloudy, overcast, stormy weather that I know will pass, but still, how to feel better in the meantime? For me, while not “feeling like it”, just doing ANYTHING anyway, whether it’s going for a walk (this is the best I’ve found), washing my hair, doing a cleaning chore, or even writing in my journal, though that can be too “in my head” to start the noticing of life outside my blue mood that leads me out of it and on to the innate creativity and joy that is life!
I also appreciate your psychological questions approach because looking at underlying thinking that makes me go dark is the key to not continuing to do so! Thanks for shining light on this aspect of life.
Hi Marcia, Doing anything is a great strategy - it gets a person moving and breaks the stream of thought. Similarly, I ask myself, what do I need right now? Sometimes, it's just a shower, a cookie, or a cup of tea, but it somehow breaks the mood.
Hi Janice ~ Do you believe in Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)? I've been trying to blame my low energy, cravings, oversleeping, weight gain, loss of interest on the lack of sun. It's so dreary here in Ohio for several months. We used to go to Sanibel Island for the month of February before the hurricane for a mid-winter pick-me-up. Looking forward to the summer months -- and getting back to the island this next winter. {{Hugs}}
Jan, I do think there is something to SAD, and the lack of light or sunshine. When we lived in Olympia, Washington, we had a lovely home in the woods and plenty of things to do, but I had to get back to California and the blue sky. I also noticed that this winter was particularly challenging in terms of just lethargy and mood. I'm going to have to take care of myself better this year. Sanibel Island sounds perfect.
I am guilty of all of these but especially conflict avoidance! It's a lifetime of work for me to pull my head out of the sand and trust the conflict is an eddy in the stream.
Hi Janice. I think these feelings are inevitable from time to time. It's what makes us human. (And it is what makes you a lovely empathetic human).
I have learnt to send love to them. Send love to the place that they come from. Just love them ❤
Cali, I think you're right about sending love to the feelings and compassion to the person feeling them.
It works. Love the part of yourself that is feeling crap x
Congratulations on moving away from self blame...& to self compassion! I'm on a mission doing the same Janice! "We can do this"
Hi Denyse, Self-compassion. Yes, we can, and the time is now.