I wrote about age being just a number a few weeks ago. I’m 85, but think of myself as 75, and I like the idea of 85 being the new 65. But please don’t think of me in generic terms of what I can and can’t do based on my age.
There's an inherent contradiction with statements like "75 is the new 65." That suggests that there is a standard way people should be at age 65, and thus ironically perpetuates stereotypes.
I'm 64, and I have a lifestyle most people probably wouldn't associate with that number. I climbed mountains. I kayak over waterfalls. I launch new creative endeavors and try new things all the time.
So rather than sweeping generalizations and how everyone should be at a certain age, I believe in personal declarations: I have not encountered a single thing I could do age 44 that I cannot do now at age 64. Your personal declaration might be different. But I think the personal is more powerful than the general.
This is a message that can be shouted from the rooftops and I'm so glad to see more and more people doing so. One of the things I've loved about being on Substack is meeting amazing folks who are older than me and these folks, like you Janice, are doing things with their lives. They are teaching us how to show up fully at any age. It's so great!
Hi, Your last article fit so well because what I was taught and rebelled against in my childhood and church taught me to be who I am today. They taught me - what and who I didn't want to be rather than what I did. Thank you!
Getting older is weird. I never know what to expect. I spent my entire life until this past year pretty much knowing what to expect. As an example, if I go to bed early without aches, pains, etc., and get a good night's sleep, how is it I wakeup the next day with a knee I can barely put weight on? Or I eat a bowl of peppermint stick ice cream (my favorite) and it suddenly no longer agrees with me at all? I went through almost a carton to prove this to myself. Aging is just weird.
Hi Patti, Yes it is weird - what worked for years, doesn't any longer. Our bodies seem to be demanding more attention - at least mine does - telling me "look lady, I served you well for 85 years, now it's your turn to take better care of me. If that means no more fried foods, so be it."
So many things are running through my mind after reading this piece. First, I don't tell anyone how old I am. (I'm fit, I practice good posture, I ride a horse, I have not embraced the gray yet, so it can be hard to know exactly how old I am). I'm perfectly fine with my age, but I know some people will treat me differently if I tell them. It's happened more than once.
I think too that sometimes we're victims of our own stereotyping. Within my circle of friends, the talk often reverts to aches and pains. I don't mean that someone is seriously ill and needs the support of friends. I mean the focus is on sore knees or hips, the medication that's been tried and failed, poor sleep, etc. Granted, it's something we all have in common, but could we PLEASE move on and talk about something else?
P.S.: I hope this comment doesn't offend anyone or sound sound harsh. Just needed to vent a little.
HI Linda, Your points are very well-taken and what a good reminder about not focusing on aches and pains.
I didn't revealed my age either until this year, but then I wanted older adults to know that there were a lot of mistruths out there and that if I could do it at my age - they could too.
I had to laugh, Janice. At my advanced age, I am, myself, an ageist. I was describing a woman I met to my sister a few days ago and I heard myself say "she is an elderly woman." Later I realized I am 8 years old than that woman! Now, I don't mind being described as an older woman or a senior, but I am not elderly! Elderly sounds to me like a word said with compassion for someone who is feeble, doddering, fragile - which I am not! We all have to watch not only how we perceive ourselves but others as well. Thanks, Janice, for letting me share this thought, and for the fine reading references.
Absolutely, you do you, Janice! Times are changing as life expectancy increases, how we live our lives is up to us. Creating intergenerational communities to support each other for everyone's wellbeing is essential. We all have so much to offer each other. Respecting and valuing everyone's contribution is SO important regardless of age. I think redefining community is part of the discussion you raise here. Big hugs.
Hi Victoria, I've been given a gift - four generations of my family are alive and I see them regularly - me, my daughter, her sons, and a great grand daughter. Intergenerational communities are so precious because we do learn so much from each other no matter the age. Even my 2-year-old great-grand-daughter teaches me and reminds me to play again.
I wrote about age being just a number a few weeks ago. I’m 85, but think of myself as 75, and I like the idea of 85 being the new 65. But please don’t think of me in generic terms of what I can and can’t do based on my age.
Hey are you free Friday night! 😁
You seem wonderful we are all so very very glad and grateful to have you with us?
Of course you are totally correct
There's an inherent contradiction with statements like "75 is the new 65." That suggests that there is a standard way people should be at age 65, and thus ironically perpetuates stereotypes.
I'm 64, and I have a lifestyle most people probably wouldn't associate with that number. I climbed mountains. I kayak over waterfalls. I launch new creative endeavors and try new things all the time.
So rather than sweeping generalizations and how everyone should be at a certain age, I believe in personal declarations: I have not encountered a single thing I could do age 44 that I cannot do now at age 64. Your personal declaration might be different. But I think the personal is more powerful than the general.
Hi Joe, Good point!!!! I can probably do more to day than I could when I was 65 now that I think about it.
I fully support 85 being the new 65. And I’m reading more and more about women like you who are total badasses and models for women of all ages.
Thank you Kristi. We have to be there for each other and ignore the myths, misinformation, and stereotypes that abound.
This is a message that can be shouted from the rooftops and I'm so glad to see more and more people doing so. One of the things I've loved about being on Substack is meeting amazing folks who are older than me and these folks, like you Janice, are doing things with their lives. They are teaching us how to show up fully at any age. It's so great!
Hi, Your last article fit so well because what I was taught and rebelled against in my childhood and church taught me to be who I am today. They taught me - what and who I didn't want to be rather than what I did. Thank you!
Attitude is everything…at every stage of life!
Hi, I do agree . . .
Getting older is weird. I never know what to expect. I spent my entire life until this past year pretty much knowing what to expect. As an example, if I go to bed early without aches, pains, etc., and get a good night's sleep, how is it I wakeup the next day with a knee I can barely put weight on? Or I eat a bowl of peppermint stick ice cream (my favorite) and it suddenly no longer agrees with me at all? I went through almost a carton to prove this to myself. Aging is just weird.
Hi Patti, Yes it is weird - what worked for years, doesn't any longer. Our bodies seem to be demanding more attention - at least mine does - telling me "look lady, I served you well for 85 years, now it's your turn to take better care of me. If that means no more fried foods, so be it."
My having to give up peppermint stick ice cream and six-layer fudge cake is really doing me in. Luckily York peppermint patties are still tolerable.
lol
So many things are running through my mind after reading this piece. First, I don't tell anyone how old I am. (I'm fit, I practice good posture, I ride a horse, I have not embraced the gray yet, so it can be hard to know exactly how old I am). I'm perfectly fine with my age, but I know some people will treat me differently if I tell them. It's happened more than once.
I think too that sometimes we're victims of our own stereotyping. Within my circle of friends, the talk often reverts to aches and pains. I don't mean that someone is seriously ill and needs the support of friends. I mean the focus is on sore knees or hips, the medication that's been tried and failed, poor sleep, etc. Granted, it's something we all have in common, but could we PLEASE move on and talk about something else?
P.S.: I hope this comment doesn't offend anyone or sound sound harsh. Just needed to vent a little.
HI Linda, Your points are very well-taken and what a good reminder about not focusing on aches and pains.
I didn't revealed my age either until this year, but then I wanted older adults to know that there were a lot of mistruths out there and that if I could do it at my age - they could too.
Love this. I’m almost 61 and can’t believe it. Although some days I feel older.
It’s like how did that happen?
I had to laugh, Janice. At my advanced age, I am, myself, an ageist. I was describing a woman I met to my sister a few days ago and I heard myself say "she is an elderly woman." Later I realized I am 8 years old than that woman! Now, I don't mind being described as an older woman or a senior, but I am not elderly! Elderly sounds to me like a word said with compassion for someone who is feeble, doddering, fragile - which I am not! We all have to watch not only how we perceive ourselves but others as well. Thanks, Janice, for letting me share this thought, and for the fine reading references.
Hi Sharron, I'm with you whole heartedly - I'm not elderly either and dislike the term. I think in terms of "older adult" unless it's a quote.
Absolutely, you do you, Janice! Times are changing as life expectancy increases, how we live our lives is up to us. Creating intergenerational communities to support each other for everyone's wellbeing is essential. We all have so much to offer each other. Respecting and valuing everyone's contribution is SO important regardless of age. I think redefining community is part of the discussion you raise here. Big hugs.
Hi Victoria, I've been given a gift - four generations of my family are alive and I see them regularly - me, my daughter, her sons, and a great grand daughter. Intergenerational communities are so precious because we do learn so much from each other no matter the age. Even my 2-year-old great-grand-daughter teaches me and reminds me to play again.