In retrospect, I would choose to be my husband’s caregiver but with a solid plan, more knowledge, awareness, and help. In other words, I would prepare better.
I was a natural caregiver for my mother but had to ease into the roll. It took a year.
Today, I would not choose to be a caregiver again. I did it for six years and it took a lot out of me. I don't regret the years, but I missed a lot.
Mentally I wasn't there for self and physically ruined my body trying to make up what I wasn't able to give myself mentally. (Trained for marathons and body building.)
In this 4th quarter of life I must be present for self now. Is it selfish? Perhaps... but at this stage I owe myself some of the time spent caregiving to give that same care back to me, so I'm whole again, running on all cylinders as they say.
Good article, and I'd say if caregiving is on a reader's horizon, plan carefully for your own future.
Hi Patti, I totally agree with your point about planning carefully. Selfish I don't think so, and that is what I am trying to do - care for myself now..
As a caregiver, "Do we have a physical or mental health issue?" Such an important question. So often it is a 75-year- old woman who is caregiver for her 80 - year - old ailing husband. She may have neither the physical strength nor the mental acuity and stability needed to do the job. Sometimes love is not enough. Thanks Janice for your always helpful guidance.
In retrospect, I would choose to be my husband’s caregiver but with a solid plan, more knowledge, awareness, and help. In other words, I would prepare better.
Bless you for doing what may not have been natural but was a true gift of love.
Hi Nancy, It was that - how could I not.
I was a natural caregiver for my mother but had to ease into the roll. It took a year.
Today, I would not choose to be a caregiver again. I did it for six years and it took a lot out of me. I don't regret the years, but I missed a lot.
Mentally I wasn't there for self and physically ruined my body trying to make up what I wasn't able to give myself mentally. (Trained for marathons and body building.)
In this 4th quarter of life I must be present for self now. Is it selfish? Perhaps... but at this stage I owe myself some of the time spent caregiving to give that same care back to me, so I'm whole again, running on all cylinders as they say.
Good article, and I'd say if caregiving is on a reader's horizon, plan carefully for your own future.
Hi Patti, I totally agree with your point about planning carefully. Selfish I don't think so, and that is what I am trying to do - care for myself now..
Thank you for this... some days are better than others. I love the good days.
As a caregiver, "Do we have a physical or mental health issue?" Such an important question. So often it is a 75-year- old woman who is caregiver for her 80 - year - old ailing husband. She may have neither the physical strength nor the mental acuity and stability needed to do the job. Sometimes love is not enough. Thanks Janice for your always helpful guidance.
Hi Sharron, Your point is well-taken.