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Janice Walton's avatar

Aging brings visible changes — graying hair, slower steps, and shifting routines — but some of the most profound transformations occur within. For many, the later stages of life can trigger an identity crisis of sorts, a deep questioning of who we are now and what still gives our life meaning.

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Jan Stoneburner's avatar

Janice ~ I love your last line about age not erasing identity, but deepening it. Over the years I've noticed that my purpose in life has stayed the same just evolved and deepened. I've always been an Encourager. I'm no longer "standing in front of a classroom," but I'm really happy helping all those grown up kids, including my own, when they ask me. The stress I used to feel "leading the younger ones" is replaced with joy and gratitude. Encouragement without grades is awesome!!! xoxo

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Janice Walton's avatar

Hi Jan, that sounds like a perfect example of evolving. I feel somewhat the same way. I was a counselor; I no longer do that, but when asked, I can still offer ideas now without the stress.

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Sharon Boyes-Schiller's avatar

Reading this just now has made me stop and pause to think - always a good thing. I’m almost 69, I hope I still have a decade or two in me, but we never know and part of my story right now is starting to pare down what I have so my son isn’t left with a massive undertaking to sort out my “collections”. I’d like them to go to people that appreciate them now, when I can enjoy them enjoying them, if that makes any sense?

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Janice Walton's avatar

Hi Sharon, it absolutely makes sense. One of my hobbies is painting. You can only hang so many paintings on the walls in an apartment, so I had literally a closet full of the rest. Recently, I was able to give most of them away to people who really enjoy them. It felt so good to give them to people who would find pleasure in them.

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Sharon Boyes-Schiller's avatar

Yes, I really like to think of all of our stuff finding second happy homes!

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Janice Walton's avatar

I was surprised how good it made me feel - that someone else would enjoy them. Some went to a retirement community, if I understood correctly - that was an added bonus.

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Joan Stommen's avatar

“We’re not losing our identity; we’re developing it. Let our story include both wisdom and change.”

I am sorry you’re going through this insight, doing research, worry, wondering, Janice! 87 is a wonderful age to be…just let if be and enjoy every moment, every day. How lucky you have great grandkids! You’ve quite a following here on SS… my safe and supportive space too. At 81, I put up with back pain, seek answers and relief. I keep active and involved in community and obviously so busy I haven’t written anything in weeks; slowly trying to get thru reading friends’ pieces though! 😊🤗

There are several posts recently about anxiety and “how to’s” in growing older. It’s not a written plan, map or script… it’s just life. It seems negative to me to dwell on our ages, our fourth quarter/ winter season. Just be and let each day be a new gift. The more ‘research’ and concern I read …the idea of living longer has become a thing!

I applaud your insight and self- awareness and wish you many more loving/lovely years, my friend!

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Janice Walton's avatar

Hi Joan, Yes, at times the focus seems to be on living longer without enjoying the journey.

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Joan Stommen's avatar

I get it… your piece helps those who find it hard to accept, get out and about. Depends on outlook too, I think. Positivity goes a long way. I hope the right folks read this. I’ll keep sharing for you. ☺️

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Janice Walton's avatar

Yes, and thanks so much for sharing for me. Positivity definitely helps.

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Cali Bird's avatar

Happy belated birthday. You are an inspiration on how to age. I hope I can follow in your footsteps

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Janice Walton's avatar

Hi Cali, Thanks so much.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Lovely, Janice. Thank you, as always. You make my day.

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Janice Walton's avatar

Thank you, Sharron. 🩷

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Catherine Ann's avatar

Being at peace within is so important; having faith, spirituality makes a positive difference imho.

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Janice Walton's avatar

Hi Catherine, So very true.

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Happy birthday Janice! You continue to be such an inspiration with your wise words. This is such a juicy article. It's only with age that we can see how the things that give our life meaning will shift over the years just as our identity will. Sometimes I think I'm under the illusion that I'll just skip gaily through these transitions happily embracing the next thing...until it really happens and I am slammed by it just like the next person. As you said, it comes down to what we find meaningful, what our values are, and sometimes that can be surprisingly difficult to figure out.

Great post, thank you.

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Janice Walton's avatar

Hi Donna, thanks so much. It really was a lovely birthday. I was certainly under that illusion - and it was quite the shock to realize I was being slammed just like everyone else.

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Jacqueline England🎨's avatar

“I think of aging not as a decline but as a stage of growth, where the concluding years of my lifetime are transformed into wisdom and guidance for others.”

This is beautiful.

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Janice Walton's avatar

Hi Jacqueline, Thank you so much.

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Heather Brebaugh's avatar

Hi Janice. First....happy birthday! I hope it was full of children, grandchildren and great grandchildren!

One of my favorite sayings: "If what you do is who you are, then when you don't, you aren't."

We are more than our jobs/ careers. I love that you mentioned how kindness and humor don't leave us. And they can be a source for a positive approach to our lives, not just when we're old but all throughout life.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. We are all on this path. I think it helps not to dwell on the finite number as we age because we may limit ourselves thinking we don't have enough time to do something. Just keep enjoying the journey.

🎉🎂

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Janice Walton's avatar

Hi Heather, it really was a lovely birthday - thank you. Those are words of wisdom for sure. 'If what you do is who you are, then when you don't, you aren't.'

It's funny - this was my 87th birthday, but if any asks me my age, without a thought, I say 75. So much for dwelling on that finite number, right?

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Heather Brebaugh's avatar

Other than tracking time, I'm not sure of the value of assigning a number to our birthdays. My birthday was today. I guess I'm 76....by the numbers at least. I feel great, love life, am active, and trying to contribute to the benefit of the world. Is there a number I should assign to that? :-)

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Janice Walton's avatar

Hi Heather, Happy birthday to you.

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Lynn Stewart's avatar

Happy Birthday!

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Janice Walton's avatar

Hi Lynn, Thank you. It really was quite a lovely birthday.

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