When Patience Isn't Your Strong Suit

Choosing Calm

Photo by Dawn McDonald on Unsplash

I’m not particularly blessed with the ability to wait, continue doing something despite difficulties, or suffer without complaining.

This tendency has been especially true during the past four years since my husband died. But as time passes, I see a need to rethink my position.

Scientists who study the causes of impatience generally believe various factors trigger it, such as:

• Having to wait or something taking longer than planned

• Not knowing when something will happen or how it will turn out

• Stress, worry, and anxiety

• Environmental factors such as waiting in heavy traffic or crowded events

My triggers are uncertainty and anxiety - mainly with myself and my inability to do what I want - when I want to. My body is aging, I’m learning new things daily, and I don’t do things as easily or quickly as before - even so, common sense says that being more patient with myself would be a kinder approach.

Typically, inadequacy and low self-esteem cause impatience and frustration. Stress arises when people feel that others are not listening to their needs and wishes or if they are not listening to their own.

The website Calm says that maintaining balance in the face of adversity and day-to-day stress is essential. Increasing tolerance for life's inconveniences allows one to move through the world more peacefully.

Practicing patience can:

• boost self-control and self-compassion

• support long-term goal achievement

• improve physical health

• contribute to overall wellness and a healthier lifestyle

• allow people to approach problems more thoughtfully and effectively

• foster personal growth

• increase satisfaction and happiness

How does an older adult improve patience?

1. Listen more

2. Meditate

3. Practice mindfulness

4. Reduce your screen time

5. Slow down

6. Take deep breaths

I’m interested in practicing mindfulness, reducing my screen and television time, slowing down, and simply choosing to be more patient!

The 7 Mindsets website looks at other ways to develop patience. They recommend people do the following.

• Expect problems.

• Enhance their effectiveness and efficiency by slowing down, becoming intentional, and doing it right - whatever it is.

• Meditate, pray, exercise, play or listen to music, connect with others, and play to create space.

• Look for the best in the people around them.

• Make the goal more significant than the individual moment.

• Bring attention to the task at hand.

No matter the path, it seems I’d be more at peace if I could corral my impatience, which might allow me to age well better—it’s worth a try.

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