Experience tells me that aging well is not as easy as it sounds, and I was wondering what challenges you think could arise and how you plan to handle them.
As I entered my 70s (now 75) what surprised me was the what felt like the acceleration of physical problems--mostly minor bone, joint, and tendon issues. None of which were necessarily new, but in the past they wouldn't all come at once (it feels like with a single infection or injury there is a cascade of other places causing problems. I have an underlying "syndrome" which has caused me to be on prednisone and thyroid replacement for over 30 years, and I suspect that this plus age in the cause of this change. But what it means is a degree of emotional fatigue. In past. problem would erupt, I would deal with it (often requiring I cut back on walking which is crucial to my health), then slowly get back to "normal," and it might be years before that problem would pop again (like plantar fasciitis) Now, I barely deal with one thing, when the next problem pops up. So I have been working on accepting that this is the new normal, and have gratitude that none of it is life threatening, and that I am able to catch days and some times weeks, when there is no acute source of pain. If I continue to see this is part of normal daily maintenance (of my house, my body, and my emotional well-being) then I seem able to let go of my frustration that I am having to spend more time on that maintenance on a daily basis. That plus making sure my days always have time for with laughter, nature, reading, and service to others, are how I am dealing with aging.
Hi, your point is well taken regarding physical problems, and also, if I hurt myself, healing takes longer. I mistakenly thought that if I continued exercising and eating nutritiously, I would maintain mobility, balance, and have fewer aches and pains, which I did until I was about 85. However, the last year and a half have been significantly more challenging. I appreciate your approach to accepting the new normal and being grateful that it's not life-threatening.
@MARYLOUISALOCKE I love how you added "making sure my days always have time with laughter, nature, reading, and service to others." I think we have to be intentional - maybe more so than in earlier years when we were busy with careers, family and other activities.
My husband & I are humming along, looking forward to our trip to France this Fall, where we rent a house and a car for 6 weeks, wandering the countryside.
I think having things to look forward to is important. We started planning this 20 months ago.
Because we have each other in our late 70’s, we can manage things. On my own, it would be a different story for sure - not easy.
I think health is a concern as we age. Arthritis and minor nuisances each day, as well as a hip replacement in my future.
I think it’s really important to appreciate small things, to feel gratitude. Having a positive attitude and having Faith provide a foundation.
Family and friends, personal interests, goals, something to look forward to each day support us.
Thank you for the question Janice. I'm 72 soon and my problems are mostly to do with my mind and then my emotions. Anxious, fear-based, having negative thoughts about the future and worrying about loved ones. I try a lot things: reframing problems, meditation (a newbie) , walking, being in nature, distractions: reading, sewing, doing art, going to cultural things, being grateful, not listening to the news. A certain part of me thinks that how I am is just my very hard-wired response to the world and my life's journey, and I to need acceptance of this, without thinking I can fix it, just trying to tell myself 'this too shall pass' and being grateful for each day to begin again.
Hi Lee, I can certainly relate to the problems you mention. You have presented many good ideas. For me, not listening to the news, being grateful, and engaging in art have been helpful.
My biggest barrier in aging well is not with myself but with others, especially my family and some of my friends. I'm a living example of healthy aging but they ignore or diminish the importance of restricting, limiting, or moderately consuming less UPF, fast foods, and not exercising.
They will often comment that I look good but won't consider doing what I do because it's too much work and they like what they are eating/drinking.
I'm never sick or have any health or pain issues while they have periodic colds, aches and pains.
So, it's more about frustration with others that don't seriously take health as important as I see it.
Hi Bill, you make a good point. It does take effort to focus on health and well-being, and many folks are not willing to do so. Bravo to you for being so healthy.
I will soon be 80, my husband is 86. We are still in pretty good health. When one of us dies, the other will have exactly half as much money to live on, that is my biggest fear. We try to balance enjoying the rest of our lives with being careful and saving money for the next phase, whichever of us remains. I want to leave your home as an asset for our GS to pay for college and in order to do that we have to live here and stay out of assisted living. So far so good.
Hi Noel, it sounds as if you have a good plan in mind. Assisted living can be very expensive, so you are wise to stay out of it. That is my plan as well; it would be cheaper to live in my apartment and have full-time help than to opt for assisted living.
My challenges involve some continued memory issues involving the two people I am closest to. One has diagnosed initial alzheimers, the other is in denial even though many family members have issues. How do I maintain patience and continue with my interests?
Hi Peggy, What I didn't do when my husband had dementia and denied it was to take care of myself first. I needed to have a plan and a team that could help me manage the frustrations and distractions that inevitably occurred. I would do it differently today.
Experience tells me that aging well is not as easy as it sounds, and I was wondering what challenges you think could arise and how you plan to handle them.
As I entered my 70s (now 75) what surprised me was the what felt like the acceleration of physical problems--mostly minor bone, joint, and tendon issues. None of which were necessarily new, but in the past they wouldn't all come at once (it feels like with a single infection or injury there is a cascade of other places causing problems. I have an underlying "syndrome" which has caused me to be on prednisone and thyroid replacement for over 30 years, and I suspect that this plus age in the cause of this change. But what it means is a degree of emotional fatigue. In past. problem would erupt, I would deal with it (often requiring I cut back on walking which is crucial to my health), then slowly get back to "normal," and it might be years before that problem would pop again (like plantar fasciitis) Now, I barely deal with one thing, when the next problem pops up. So I have been working on accepting that this is the new normal, and have gratitude that none of it is life threatening, and that I am able to catch days and some times weeks, when there is no acute source of pain. If I continue to see this is part of normal daily maintenance (of my house, my body, and my emotional well-being) then I seem able to let go of my frustration that I am having to spend more time on that maintenance on a daily basis. That plus making sure my days always have time for with laughter, nature, reading, and service to others, are how I am dealing with aging.
Hi, your point is well taken regarding physical problems, and also, if I hurt myself, healing takes longer. I mistakenly thought that if I continued exercising and eating nutritiously, I would maintain mobility, balance, and have fewer aches and pains, which I did until I was about 85. However, the last year and a half have been significantly more challenging. I appreciate your approach to accepting the new normal and being grateful that it's not life-threatening.
I really appreciate your use of the term "new normal." I like to use the terms "radical acceptance" and "resilience" as well.
@MARYLOUISALOCKE I love how you added "making sure my days always have time with laughter, nature, reading, and service to others." I think we have to be intentional - maybe more so than in earlier years when we were busy with careers, family and other activities.
Thank you for sharing. I am in a very similar situation. Will reply further at a later time.
My husband & I are humming along, looking forward to our trip to France this Fall, where we rent a house and a car for 6 weeks, wandering the countryside.
I think having things to look forward to is important. We started planning this 20 months ago.
Because we have each other in our late 70’s, we can manage things. On my own, it would be a different story for sure - not easy.
I think health is a concern as we age. Arthritis and minor nuisances each day, as well as a hip replacement in my future.
I think it’s really important to appreciate small things, to feel gratitude. Having a positive attitude and having Faith provide a foundation.
Family and friends, personal interests, goals, something to look forward to each day support us.
Hi Catherine, the trip to France sounds wonderful. So true about appreciating small things and feeling gratitude, they are so important.
Thank you for the question Janice. I'm 72 soon and my problems are mostly to do with my mind and then my emotions. Anxious, fear-based, having negative thoughts about the future and worrying about loved ones. I try a lot things: reframing problems, meditation (a newbie) , walking, being in nature, distractions: reading, sewing, doing art, going to cultural things, being grateful, not listening to the news. A certain part of me thinks that how I am is just my very hard-wired response to the world and my life's journey, and I to need acceptance of this, without thinking I can fix it, just trying to tell myself 'this too shall pass' and being grateful for each day to begin again.
Hi Lee, I can certainly relate to the problems you mention. You have presented many good ideas. For me, not listening to the news, being grateful, and engaging in art have been helpful.
My biggest barrier in aging well is not with myself but with others, especially my family and some of my friends. I'm a living example of healthy aging but they ignore or diminish the importance of restricting, limiting, or moderately consuming less UPF, fast foods, and not exercising.
They will often comment that I look good but won't consider doing what I do because it's too much work and they like what they are eating/drinking.
I'm never sick or have any health or pain issues while they have periodic colds, aches and pains.
So, it's more about frustration with others that don't seriously take health as important as I see it.
Hi Bill, you make a good point. It does take effort to focus on health and well-being, and many folks are not willing to do so. Bravo to you for being so healthy.
I will soon be 80, my husband is 86. We are still in pretty good health. When one of us dies, the other will have exactly half as much money to live on, that is my biggest fear. We try to balance enjoying the rest of our lives with being careful and saving money for the next phase, whichever of us remains. I want to leave your home as an asset for our GS to pay for college and in order to do that we have to live here and stay out of assisted living. So far so good.
Hi Noel, it sounds as if you have a good plan in mind. Assisted living can be very expensive, so you are wise to stay out of it. That is my plan as well; it would be cheaper to live in my apartment and have full-time help than to opt for assisted living.
My challenges involve some continued memory issues involving the two people I am closest to. One has diagnosed initial alzheimers, the other is in denial even though many family members have issues. How do I maintain patience and continue with my interests?
Hi Peggy, What I didn't do when my husband had dementia and denied it was to take care of myself first. I needed to have a plan and a team that could help me manage the frustrations and distractions that inevitably occurred. I would do it differently today.