be mindful of the many positive things in your life, acknowledge what worries and stresses you, do what it is in your power to do about them, and accept what cannot be changed.
I remind myself that I can’t change the past, I have no control over the future. All we have is this present moment so don’t waste it. Enjoy whatever it is. No regrets.
Sometimes I have to mop the kitchen floor and what I really want is to take a nap. I can now easily allow myself to take a nap, because no one is watching. And that dust on the furniture can just wait a day if I am not in the mood. AND I am learning to say, "Thank you very much, you are so sweet to ask, but I prefer to just stay home today." And not feel guilty about it.
i can so relate to your comments sharon. for years i have been stressing over not feeling well enough to keep up with housework on a regular basis. it was always there nagging at me in the back of my mind. i SHOULD be doing this or i SHOULD be doing that. i am a quilter and it brings me a lot of joy and satisfaction. but even while sewing that nagging voice was always there. it was causing me as much depression as the health issues that i'm dealing with. i decided to make a trial schedule of daily, weekly, and monthly tasks that i want to accomplish regularly. no big whole house clean, instead one room at a time, not all laundry (clothes and linens) on one day, clothes one day, sheets & towels another, etc. just the process of writing it as a "trial schedule" helped me feel less overwhelmed. then when each day rolled around i made the effort to follow my schedule. what i'm finding is i sometimes just don't manage to accomplish all the tasks for that day. but i do what i can. the next day i often feel better and can usually catch up because no one day has too much work. each week i start again but no longer feel that overwhelming stress that i can't keep up.
I am right with you, Hope. I still make a list to keep on the kitchen counter. But now it is realistic. Instead of "clean the kitchen", it says "clean out three drawers" or "clean stove top". I can actually do that. Slow and steady wins the race, the tortoise said. ha ha ha
I live in a small rural area I’m 81 so there’s not a lot of things to do in a rural area in this area of Texas
Like others have said I’ve started being kind to myself. I’m not saying this is the overall answer but I get a massage, I get a pedicure and a manicure, I get a facial I read I’m an artist I love helping other people I love listening to other people‘s opinions, I’m not wanting to change their opinions. I just like to discuss different viewpoints of opinions in different locations that we all live and how we grew up it gives me a sense of belonging.
I DO understand CK. And I'm sorry for it. At my age, most days I am thrilled just to be able to hobble to the coffee pot. Sometimes all we can do is laugh, girl. Right?
That sounds like me, too, CK. Everything still gets done, but it is like 10 minutes weeding, ten minutes sitting, 10 minutes weeding, 10 minutes sitting. What used to take an hour now takes all day, bit by bit - and it is okay.😊
Stepping outside our comfort zones on a regular basis. As we age, it becomes TOO convenient to let others "do things for us." My daughter always offers to drive when we're going somewhere beyond our small town borders. I'm willing to share the driving responsibilities, but I don't want to rely on her and others all the time. We keep our skills sharp by practicing them regularly.
Of course, we must also recognize our physical limitations. I refuse to do anything that puts me in a potentially risky situation, such as climbing ladders. If it requires a ladder, then I must ask for help OR pay for the service. Same with heavy lifting. I constantly remind myself that broken bones, sore backs, etc don't heal as well (or as quickly) at 65 as they did at 35.
Hi, That's basically my plan as well. I no longer drive, but my daughter lives close by and we typically do things together. However, I make sure to be ready on time and do as much as I can within walking distance before hand - fortunately there are lots of options nearby. I, too, leave the heavy lifting to others and am very cautious even when using a small step stool.
I notice the exercise I’m doing three times a week is making me stronger & more sturdy on my feet. In return I’m starting to feel more confident, not like someone who should fade into the background just yet. 😊
I just put my plan into action this morning. It’s a 2-part start…. #1 stop multi tasking so much, eg if I’m washing dishes, just wash dishes. Don’t think of the next to-do on my list or the grocery list or what I’m doing tomorrow, etc. Just pay attention to what I’m doing in the moment and #2 put the phone down and sit still for 20 minutes. No thinking about stuff that needs to be done, no rehearsing or ruminating conversations, nothing …just listen to the sounds around me.
I became a Christian 5 years ago at the age of 71. I had never NOT believed in a superior power, so it wasn’t difficult to make the transition. And I’m not a Christian Nationalist or a religious fanatic, but I do work at my relationship with God and following his Word. Now I am responsible for caring for a my sister, who I live with, who has Alzheimer’s. In the last year, I have been experiencing depression and anxiety based on my life situation. I do take an anti-depressants and see a psychiatrist. But the biggest comfort and relief I’ve found is recognizing that God is in control, and I am not. The more I trust in God, the more my anxiety decreases and my fear of the future dissipates. It’s quite miraculous. God does answer prayers especially if you are faithful to him. I’ve had 3 other experiences where he has showed up for me where it was very clear that he was intervening. I have never known a peace in my life like the one I have when I turn to God. I’m not one to evangelize or proselytize, but I just want to share with others so that they can find this peace. It can happen when your heart is truly in it and you give up the reins to let God lead.
What is one thing we can begin doing today to support our overall sense of well-being, independence, and life satisfaction?
be mindful of the many positive things in your life, acknowledge what worries and stresses you, do what it is in your power to do about them, and accept what cannot be changed.
I remind myself that I can’t change the past, I have no control over the future. All we have is this present moment so don’t waste it. Enjoy whatever it is. No regrets.
Being able to show my true thoughts and feelings without just giving in to keep others happy. My strength.
I am with you, Tia.
Find something each day that brings you joy, and then smile.
Remember to be kind to ourselves and others
Being more open to finding 'glimmers' of joy. Standing up for and expressing myself. Responding rather than reacting.
Hi, That's a big one for me to work on - standing up for and expressing myself.
Get quiet and check in and see how I feel at least a few times a day. Tell myself my thoughts aren't always true and then listen before I react.
Consider the many ways to "age in place" or with other people and work on making it happen.
Sometimes I have to mop the kitchen floor and what I really want is to take a nap. I can now easily allow myself to take a nap, because no one is watching. And that dust on the furniture can just wait a day if I am not in the mood. AND I am learning to say, "Thank you very much, you are so sweet to ask, but I prefer to just stay home today." And not feel guilty about it.
i can so relate to your comments sharon. for years i have been stressing over not feeling well enough to keep up with housework on a regular basis. it was always there nagging at me in the back of my mind. i SHOULD be doing this or i SHOULD be doing that. i am a quilter and it brings me a lot of joy and satisfaction. but even while sewing that nagging voice was always there. it was causing me as much depression as the health issues that i'm dealing with. i decided to make a trial schedule of daily, weekly, and monthly tasks that i want to accomplish regularly. no big whole house clean, instead one room at a time, not all laundry (clothes and linens) on one day, clothes one day, sheets & towels another, etc. just the process of writing it as a "trial schedule" helped me feel less overwhelmed. then when each day rolled around i made the effort to follow my schedule. what i'm finding is i sometimes just don't manage to accomplish all the tasks for that day. but i do what i can. the next day i often feel better and can usually catch up because no one day has too much work. each week i start again but no longer feel that overwhelming stress that i can't keep up.
I am right with you, Hope. I still make a list to keep on the kitchen counter. But now it is realistic. Instead of "clean the kitchen", it says "clean out three drawers" or "clean stove top". I can actually do that. Slow and steady wins the race, the tortoise said. ha ha ha
Take a walk, even 10 minutes, in the woods.
Hi Tim, A walk in the woods or along the ocean - for me - puts things in perspective.
I live in a small rural area I’m 81 so there’s not a lot of things to do in a rural area in this area of Texas
Like others have said I’ve started being kind to myself. I’m not saying this is the overall answer but I get a massage, I get a pedicure and a manicure, I get a facial I read I’m an artist I love helping other people I love listening to other people‘s opinions, I’m not wanting to change their opinions. I just like to discuss different viewpoints of opinions in different locations that we all live and how we grew up it gives me a sense of belonging.
Hi Martha, That sounds like a lovely approach.
Great question. I’m doing it. It’s just a fatigue and exhaustion that take over.
Hi, That's true for me as well.
I’m trying to figure out if it’s my Hashimoto’s or Kidney. Even tho I have CKD 3a docs aren’t worried. Hope it s not another autoimmune issue.
I am pretty sure I am suffering from chronic sloth. Possibly terminal lethargy.... ha ha ha!
I would much prefer chronic sloth over RA or lupus. Love this term.
I DO understand CK. And I'm sorry for it. At my age, most days I am thrilled just to be able to hobble to the coffee pot. Sometimes all we can do is laugh, girl. Right?
Yes! If you’re on IG check out the comedy of me and my buddy Pam. 1_800midlife
That sounds like me, too, CK. Everything still gets done, but it is like 10 minutes weeding, ten minutes sitting, 10 minutes weeding, 10 minutes sitting. What used to take an hour now takes all day, bit by bit - and it is okay.😊
Stepping outside our comfort zones on a regular basis. As we age, it becomes TOO convenient to let others "do things for us." My daughter always offers to drive when we're going somewhere beyond our small town borders. I'm willing to share the driving responsibilities, but I don't want to rely on her and others all the time. We keep our skills sharp by practicing them regularly.
Of course, we must also recognize our physical limitations. I refuse to do anything that puts me in a potentially risky situation, such as climbing ladders. If it requires a ladder, then I must ask for help OR pay for the service. Same with heavy lifting. I constantly remind myself that broken bones, sore backs, etc don't heal as well (or as quickly) at 65 as they did at 35.
Hi, That's basically my plan as well. I no longer drive, but my daughter lives close by and we typically do things together. However, I make sure to be ready on time and do as much as I can within walking distance before hand - fortunately there are lots of options nearby. I, too, leave the heavy lifting to others and am very cautious even when using a small step stool.
I notice the exercise I’m doing three times a week is making me stronger & more sturdy on my feet. In return I’m starting to feel more confident, not like someone who should fade into the background just yet. 😊
Hi Jan, Bravo!! It seems as if when I try to ignore the exercise - the difference is noticeable immediately.
I just put my plan into action this morning. It’s a 2-part start…. #1 stop multi tasking so much, eg if I’m washing dishes, just wash dishes. Don’t think of the next to-do on my list or the grocery list or what I’m doing tomorrow, etc. Just pay attention to what I’m doing in the moment and #2 put the phone down and sit still for 20 minutes. No thinking about stuff that needs to be done, no rehearsing or ruminating conversations, nothing …just listen to the sounds around me.
Hi Wendy! Bravo! I love your plan. I'm a veteran multi-tasker and have been working on taking things one at a time. It does make a difference.
I became a Christian 5 years ago at the age of 71. I had never NOT believed in a superior power, so it wasn’t difficult to make the transition. And I’m not a Christian Nationalist or a religious fanatic, but I do work at my relationship with God and following his Word. Now I am responsible for caring for a my sister, who I live with, who has Alzheimer’s. In the last year, I have been experiencing depression and anxiety based on my life situation. I do take an anti-depressants and see a psychiatrist. But the biggest comfort and relief I’ve found is recognizing that God is in control, and I am not. The more I trust in God, the more my anxiety decreases and my fear of the future dissipates. It’s quite miraculous. God does answer prayers especially if you are faithful to him. I’ve had 3 other experiences where he has showed up for me where it was very clear that he was intervening. I have never known a peace in my life like the one I have when I turn to God. I’m not one to evangelize or proselytize, but I just want to share with others so that they can find this peace. It can happen when your heart is truly in it and you give up the reins to let God lead.
Hi Lonna, beautifully written and thank you for sharing your story.