My answer and goal would be to acknowledge the normal changes in my body as I get older and adjust accordingly, while treating myself with the same kindness, care, and understanding I’d show a good friend who was experiencing them.
Janice, your line about dressing nicely even when you are not going anywhere stayed with me. It is a small act, but it says you still matter today.
My grandmother loved to dance and play tennis. When she could no longer do either, she did not pretend the loss was easy. She redirected that energy into cards, friendship, and the people around the table.
Watching her taught me how humbling it is to lose an edge when you expect a lot from yourself. My small shift would be to give one thing my full attention each day without measuring it against what I used to be able to do.
Hi Nathan, I think that's the key - "without measuring it against what I used to be able to do." This is a different body and different times, I can only do my best with what I have to work with now.
Janice ~ I've been doing cardio rehab for three weeks now. Honestly, before this I wouldn't have believed I could lift weights and bench press like I am. (Even though it's not much weight) . I definitely don't like exercising 3 mornings a week, but it has really made me more confident in my body. I'm just hoping I have the will power to keep it up after my rehab program is over. I hate exercise. Oh, I said that already. Ha Ha! I think the deep breathing while exercising reduces my stress too. It's amazing how quickly I can lower my blood pressure with a few breathing exercises. I bet breathing deeply a couple times a day could help you too. {{Hugs}}
HI Jan, I really need to get back to the Qigong, which is a mix of gentle exercise, deep breathing, and mindfulness. I do feel better when I spend even ten minutes a morning at it. Truth be told, I hate exercise too.
Thank you for your thoughts on aging bodies. So much resonates! I am 83 and always had a huge amount of energy for multi tasking etc. for family and work. I had 2 knee replacements in '22 and '24 and put on weight which I am having a lot of trouble getting rid of -I try to eat well and I still walk a lot and do some exercises at home. My building has a good gym but I am shy about going to work out there and I really need some instructions on lifting weights. I moved recently but before that I went to a great pilates class which helps with balance and breathing etc. I get tired more easily which I find frustrating as I am still practising as an artist and want to do more than I can! It seems to me though the secret to aging well is to keep being active and interested in the world and what is happening around us.
Hi Antoinette, That sounds like a good plan. I know what you mean about your building and the gym, my apartment complex has one as well and a pool, but I'm uncomfortable using them.
Janice , aging is hard when you’re used to being active , and you can no longer enjoy the things you used to do. I frequently feel anger , especially when my peer group has no issues or physical limitations . We must remember that life is not fair . No one said we are entitled to this or that . It is a crapshoot . We must continue to breathe deeply and do the best we can with what we have.
Thank you 🙏 for acknowledging all of this in writing .
Hi Karen, That to me is the secret - doing the best we can with what we have to work with even as our capabilities and circumstances change. The challenge for me is to stop comparing what I can do with what I could and did do.
Hi CK, That's about the size of it continue strengthening and doing the best we can. I'm not very good at accepting my limitations, but I do honestly acknowledge them and adjust accordingly - even if reluctantly.
Be sure you have a “stylus” for typing on phones. Old fingers don’t manage. Or use oral dictation but be sure to proofread because the word you say often come out quite differently
Hi Lucy, Well, that's kind of good news, it's not only my old fingers - but maybe old fingers in general. What an excellent reminder about proofreading, far to often what I say comes out totally different than intended. Thanks.
For the great comments and ideas, you put a New perspective on aging. It's something that happens to all of us. We can't avoid it. Are they avoidian isn't as good as having it
Hi, I so agree with your point "we can't avoid aging it happens to all of us" - my intended goal is to make the best of life given the circumstances I have to work with now. Truth be told, I do better some days than others.
At 77, I can relate very well. However, I am one of the very fortunate ones in that I can still walk very fast and well, and am pretty agile. And I have a comfortable life and am financially ok. I am, however, afraid of what the future holds. I have no faith in the health system as it currently exists. I have seen a loved one go through a near-death experience and the recovery, recently, and it scares me a lot. I’m not sure she would’ve survived without me as her advocate, and there is no one to take on that role for me. Also, I feel sometimes, as if I don’t know the person I am now. A combination of a 50 year-old and the age I am. It depends on the day. We are the Boomers and we are watching the world we’ve known disintigrate. I wonder who I would be if this weren’t happening. It’s all so frightening, but I just put one foot in front of the other each day, and depend on my faith, and my afternoon cocktail.
Again, I appreciate all you said from the bottom of my heart. You pose thought-provoking questions and give the satisfaction of answering them out of your personal experiences. I feel I’m walking in your footsteps and you provide both understanding and encouragement. Thank you and bless you for keeping on!
'Shifting focus is all well and good. However, doing so doesn't relieve the frustration and discouragement that arises...' That gap, between what you know intellectually and what you're actually able to feel, is so rarely named this plainly. Advice to reframe often assumes the reframing itself does the emotional work, and it doesn't. I'm learning that myself right now with something in my own body that no amount of mindset is going to negotiate with. Sitting with the frustration honestly, without rushing past it into gratitude, is its own kind of work, maybe the only kind that actually gets you somewhere."
Hi Amy, You make an important point that's often overlooked "Advice to reframe often assumes the reframing itself does the emotional work, and it doesn't." I'm finding that sitting with the frustration is becoming the wisest answer - it does pass - and those feelings do need to be honored.
Janice, thank you for a helpful and inspiring article. I have been totally surprised at the effect strength based exercise has had.
A local gym opened up near us last year, offering small groups (6), with a trainer, for the over 55s. Most of us are over 65! I went twice a week for the initial six week course and saw a massive improvement in what my body could do (eg standing up from sitting on the ground more easily; carrying heavy shopping bags; seeing muscles defined in my arms). But the biggest change was the confidence I felt. It was (and is!) amazing.
I was someone who hated gyms, the music, the young bodies, the emphasis on go-go-go. But this one isn’t like that, and the trainer always is finding ways to adapt exercises for older bodies.
So that’s what I’d suggest if you can find it near you.
What really made the difference for me was having the personal attention, and feeling like all the quirky things not quite right with my body were being respected and addressed. Plus it really helps seeing people my age or even older doing what they can do - I find it inspiring. Good luck!
What small shift would help you have more confidence in your body right now?
My answer and goal would be to acknowledge the normal changes in my body as I get older and adjust accordingly, while treating myself with the same kindness, care, and understanding I’d show a good friend who was experiencing them.
I'm 68. I know I feel better when I do yoga...but I keep postponing it. My shift would be to consciously make time for it.
Janice, your line about dressing nicely even when you are not going anywhere stayed with me. It is a small act, but it says you still matter today.
My grandmother loved to dance and play tennis. When she could no longer do either, she did not pretend the loss was easy. She redirected that energy into cards, friendship, and the people around the table.
Watching her taught me how humbling it is to lose an edge when you expect a lot from yourself. My small shift would be to give one thing my full attention each day without measuring it against what I used to be able to do.
Hi Nathan, I think that's the key - "without measuring it against what I used to be able to do." This is a different body and different times, I can only do my best with what I have to work with now.
Nathan this is such a good point. Measuring against what we used to be able to do is the hardest thing to change.
TY for your comments - the real stuff
Thanks again
Janice ~ I've been doing cardio rehab for three weeks now. Honestly, before this I wouldn't have believed I could lift weights and bench press like I am. (Even though it's not much weight) . I definitely don't like exercising 3 mornings a week, but it has really made me more confident in my body. I'm just hoping I have the will power to keep it up after my rehab program is over. I hate exercise. Oh, I said that already. Ha Ha! I think the deep breathing while exercising reduces my stress too. It's amazing how quickly I can lower my blood pressure with a few breathing exercises. I bet breathing deeply a couple times a day could help you too. {{Hugs}}
HI Jan, I really need to get back to the Qigong, which is a mix of gentle exercise, deep breathing, and mindfulness. I do feel better when I spend even ten minutes a morning at it. Truth be told, I hate exercise too.
Thank you for your thoughts on aging bodies. So much resonates! I am 83 and always had a huge amount of energy for multi tasking etc. for family and work. I had 2 knee replacements in '22 and '24 and put on weight which I am having a lot of trouble getting rid of -I try to eat well and I still walk a lot and do some exercises at home. My building has a good gym but I am shy about going to work out there and I really need some instructions on lifting weights. I moved recently but before that I went to a great pilates class which helps with balance and breathing etc. I get tired more easily which I find frustrating as I am still practising as an artist and want to do more than I can! It seems to me though the secret to aging well is to keep being active and interested in the world and what is happening around us.
Hi Antoinette, That sounds like a good plan. I know what you mean about your building and the gym, my apartment complex has one as well and a pool, but I'm uncomfortable using them.
My change would be to become consistent in daily walking and twice weekly strength exercises!
Hi Lucy, That sounds doable. I already do the daily walking.
Janice , aging is hard when you’re used to being active , and you can no longer enjoy the things you used to do. I frequently feel anger , especially when my peer group has no issues or physical limitations . We must remember that life is not fair . No one said we are entitled to this or that . It is a crapshoot . We must continue to breathe deeply and do the best we can with what we have.
Thank you 🙏 for acknowledging all of this in writing .
Hi Karen, That to me is the secret - doing the best we can with what we have to work with even as our capabilities and circumstances change. The challenge for me is to stop comparing what I can do with what I could and did do.
There’s not much I can do differently other than continue strengthening and accepting my limitations. Thx for sharing your journey. 🙏🏻
Hi CK, That's about the size of it continue strengthening and doing the best we can. I'm not very good at accepting my limitations, but I do honestly acknowledge them and adjust accordingly - even if reluctantly.
Be sure you have a “stylus” for typing on phones. Old fingers don’t manage. Or use oral dictation but be sure to proofread because the word you say often come out quite differently
Hi Lucy, Well, that's kind of good news, it's not only my old fingers - but maybe old fingers in general. What an excellent reminder about proofreading, far to often what I say comes out totally different than intended. Thanks.
For the great comments and ideas, you put a New perspective on aging. It's something that happens to all of us. We can't avoid it. Are they avoidian isn't as good as having it
Hi, I so agree with your point "we can't avoid aging it happens to all of us" - my intended goal is to make the best of life given the circumstances I have to work with now. Truth be told, I do better some days than others.
At 77, I can relate very well. However, I am one of the very fortunate ones in that I can still walk very fast and well, and am pretty agile. And I have a comfortable life and am financially ok. I am, however, afraid of what the future holds. I have no faith in the health system as it currently exists. I have seen a loved one go through a near-death experience and the recovery, recently, and it scares me a lot. I’m not sure she would’ve survived without me as her advocate, and there is no one to take on that role for me. Also, I feel sometimes, as if I don’t know the person I am now. A combination of a 50 year-old and the age I am. It depends on the day. We are the Boomers and we are watching the world we’ve known disintigrate. I wonder who I would be if this weren’t happening. It’s all so frightening, but I just put one foot in front of the other each day, and depend on my faith, and my afternoon cocktail.
Again, I appreciate all you said from the bottom of my heart. You pose thought-provoking questions and give the satisfaction of answering them out of your personal experiences. I feel I’m walking in your footsteps and you provide both understanding and encouragement. Thank you and bless you for keeping on!
Hi Careen, Thank you so much for your kind words.
'Shifting focus is all well and good. However, doing so doesn't relieve the frustration and discouragement that arises...' That gap, between what you know intellectually and what you're actually able to feel, is so rarely named this plainly. Advice to reframe often assumes the reframing itself does the emotional work, and it doesn't. I'm learning that myself right now with something in my own body that no amount of mindset is going to negotiate with. Sitting with the frustration honestly, without rushing past it into gratitude, is its own kind of work, maybe the only kind that actually gets you somewhere."
Hi Amy, You make an important point that's often overlooked "Advice to reframe often assumes the reframing itself does the emotional work, and it doesn't." I'm finding that sitting with the frustration is becoming the wisest answer - it does pass - and those feelings do need to be honored.
Janice, thank you for a helpful and inspiring article. I have been totally surprised at the effect strength based exercise has had.
A local gym opened up near us last year, offering small groups (6), with a trainer, for the over 55s. Most of us are over 65! I went twice a week for the initial six week course and saw a massive improvement in what my body could do (eg standing up from sitting on the ground more easily; carrying heavy shopping bags; seeing muscles defined in my arms). But the biggest change was the confidence I felt. It was (and is!) amazing.
I was someone who hated gyms, the music, the young bodies, the emphasis on go-go-go. But this one isn’t like that, and the trainer always is finding ways to adapt exercises for older bodies.
So that’s what I’d suggest if you can find it near you.
Hi Jane, That's great to hear. I really have no excuse for not doing more, there is a fitness center in the apartment complex where I live.
What really made the difference for me was having the personal attention, and feeling like all the quirky things not quite right with my body were being respected and addressed. Plus it really helps seeing people my age or even older doing what they can do - I find it inspiring. Good luck!