Experts say, "Typically, we first experience a primary emotion like fear, loss, or sadness. Because these emotions create feelings of vulnerability and loss of control, they make us uncomfortable. One way to deal with these feelings is by subconsciously shifting into anger." But it may be time to move beyond it, too.
I've heard that anger is a secondary emotion, too, and it's true for me a lot of the time. For someone who's spent her life avoiding vulnerability, anger feels like a "safe" emotion to me. No doubt, that is a learned response. It was the one most often modeled to me and allowed in my childhood. So yeah, I still need to work on anger. The older, wiser me, though, also knows when I find myself angry, I need to tap in a little further to see if there is another emotion under the surface, what it is and why it's there. Finally, we can't always control outcomes to situations, but we do have say in how we respond to them.
Hi Kristie, I agree, we need to health the underlying emotion - and then the anger may subside as well. That's the only thing we can. control, isn't it - our responses.
My default emotion for things out of control seems to be sorrow. They say you can't cry when you run. I proved that theory wrong this week. Biking seems to work (for me), though. So all week I've been jumping on my bike and riding even in the rain. Great read, thank you.
Thank you Janice - I hear you loud and clear and as I get ready to finally make another post I'd like to ask you a question I recently asked myself. How would you respond to a dear friend who is experiencing what you're experiencing? And, if you were to answer with something like ... "encouragement, understanding and compassion" THEN I would further ask - can you respond to yourself in the same way? Just sayin' :-).
"Perfectly on Time"...we are hardest on ourselves and it's time to shift that and give ourselves a little break now and again.
Hi Marilyn - Let's just say I haven't always been that dear friend to me. I wonder why that is - that we are so much harder on ourselves than we are with others?
No profound words of wisdom from this Crone Janice... LOL. Finding myself where I am today I can't help but wonder about this idea of "self love". That was NOT part of my own journey in early years - in fact, it was probably the exact opposite. NEVER brag or make yourself out to be better than others? As I watch my grandchildren with their children I see such a beautiful unfolding - perhaps some of the old BS (belief systems) are finally being torn apart. For now and just for today I think I'll just "trust" that I'm "Perfectly on Time". Sending my own version of love, light and angels your way!
Experts say, "Typically, we first experience a primary emotion like fear, loss, or sadness. Because these emotions create feelings of vulnerability and loss of control, they make us uncomfortable. One way to deal with these feelings is by subconsciously shifting into anger." But it may be time to move beyond it, too.
Thanks for this awareness ❤️
Your approach isn't age-specific, I think.
We all need to learn how to cope with anger and frustration at any age. Thank you for the suggestions.
This is useful for me today 🙏
Excellent essay and words to live by. Thank you!
I've heard that anger is a secondary emotion, too, and it's true for me a lot of the time. For someone who's spent her life avoiding vulnerability, anger feels like a "safe" emotion to me. No doubt, that is a learned response. It was the one most often modeled to me and allowed in my childhood. So yeah, I still need to work on anger. The older, wiser me, though, also knows when I find myself angry, I need to tap in a little further to see if there is another emotion under the surface, what it is and why it's there. Finally, we can't always control outcomes to situations, but we do have say in how we respond to them.
Hi Kristie, I agree, we need to health the underlying emotion - and then the anger may subside as well. That's the only thing we can. control, isn't it - our responses.
My default emotion for things out of control seems to be sorrow. They say you can't cry when you run. I proved that theory wrong this week. Biking seems to work (for me), though. So all week I've been jumping on my bike and riding even in the rain. Great read, thank you.
Hi Patti, My default emotion used to be sadness or sorrow, as well. The anger of the last year has been somewhat of a surprise.
I'd like a change of pace. I'd rather have something other than anger or sorrow as a default.
Thank you Janice - I hear you loud and clear and as I get ready to finally make another post I'd like to ask you a question I recently asked myself. How would you respond to a dear friend who is experiencing what you're experiencing? And, if you were to answer with something like ... "encouragement, understanding and compassion" THEN I would further ask - can you respond to yourself in the same way? Just sayin' :-).
"Perfectly on Time"...we are hardest on ourselves and it's time to shift that and give ourselves a little break now and again.
Hi Marilyn - Let's just say I haven't always been that dear friend to me. I wonder why that is - that we are so much harder on ourselves than we are with others?
No profound words of wisdom from this Crone Janice... LOL. Finding myself where I am today I can't help but wonder about this idea of "self love". That was NOT part of my own journey in early years - in fact, it was probably the exact opposite. NEVER brag or make yourself out to be better than others? As I watch my grandchildren with their children I see such a beautiful unfolding - perhaps some of the old BS (belief systems) are finally being torn apart. For now and just for today I think I'll just "trust" that I'm "Perfectly on Time". Sending my own version of love, light and angels your way!
I watch my grandson and his wife raise their now 19-month old. The difference is night and day from the way I was raised.
Janice - I just very accidentally landed on this YouTube post and thought of you. https://youtu.be/vp0DBgLju_I?si=7bhy7XykKNPX9N9y
Hi Marilyn, Thank you for thinking of me and for the link - it was perfectly on time. What a beautiful and important message and reminder.