It Gets in the Way
Experts say, "Typically, we first experience a primary emotion like fear, loss, or sadness. Because these emotions create feelings of vulnerability and loss of control, they make us uncomfortable. One way to deal with these feelings is by subconsciously shifting into anger." But it may be time to move beyond it, too.
Your approach isn't age-specific, I think.
We all need to learn how to cope with anger and frustration at any age. Thank you for the suggestions.
This is useful for me today 🙏
Excellent essay and words to live by. Thank you!
I've heard that anger is a secondary emotion, too, and it's true for me a lot of the time. For someone who's spent her life avoiding vulnerability, anger feels like a "safe" emotion to me. No doubt, that is a learned response. It was the one most often modeled to me and allowed in my childhood. So yeah, I still need to work on anger. The older, wiser me, though, also knows when I find myself angry, I need to tap in a little further to see if there is another emotion under the surface, what it is and why it's there. Finally, we can't always control outcomes to situations, but we do have say in how we respond to them.
My default emotion for things out of control seems to be sorrow. They say you can't cry when you run. I proved that theory wrong this week. Biking seems to work (for me), though. So all week I've been jumping on my bike and riding even in the rain. Great read, thank you.
Thank you Janice - I hear you loud and clear and as I get ready to finally make another post I'd like to ask you a question I recently asked myself. How would you respond to a dear friend who is experiencing what you're experiencing? And, if you were to answer with something like ... "encouragement, understanding and compassion" THEN I would further ask - can you respond to yourself in the same way? Just sayin' :-).
"Perfectly on Time"...we are hardest on ourselves and it's time to shift that and give ourselves a little break now and again.