This, Janice, is valuable for obvious reasons. In my instance I’m 75 and my wife will turn 65 in August. A neurological problem, 4 years and counting, greatly limits my daily step count. Going to dinner or a concert together in the evening is usually a no go for me due to pain. I encourage my wife to hook up with friends and go dancing. See a movie. Explore a new park that just opened.
Am I expecting a diagnosis of dementia soon. No. Women outlive men. Our 10-year age difference poses the prospect of my dying before her. She has no children from a prior marriage, while my son & family live about 100 miles away. Not down the street. I know they could visit and bring my granddaughter to raise spirits. My hope is for Beth to have a routine and circle of friends with whom she can share company. Skill building.
My mom said when she was taking care of my step-dad when he had Alzheimer’s, none of their own friends came around. I noticed when I was taking care of my elderly mom who was terminal with Cancer, none of her friends came around. I often wondered why???
It is always inspiring to me Janice, that, though it is too late for you to apply all these learnings to your caring for Dan, you are making a pointed effort to apply them to yourself as you age and to share them with others. You are a very strong woman. Thank you.
This is such valuable information Janice. My Mom struggled with learning technology, she would try and then forget and get very frustrated. The last couple years we put everything aside and would try to write in a big notebook. I feel sick when I wonder if she was lonely. I'm sure she was but she also was quite stubborn about getting involved, it was a tricky dance.
Thanks for this important read Janice. Loneliness is hard for anyone dealing with it. I think the pandemic heightened awareness of this important issue. I have lived a lone for many years now, it's tough at times.
Janice, you make such a good point...you like being alone but still, there is loneliness. Thank you for this post. Your work helps raise awareness of the challenges of caregiving as well as the loneliness of being the one left behind. Having a social network is so important.
This is a powerful article that acknowledges the challenges caregivers face in overcoming isolation and loneliness. I appreciate your honesty about how the suggested strategies like respite care and support groups weren't effective for you in the past. The revised approach you outline, with a focus on persistence and finding the right fit for support, is valuable advice for other caregivers. It's also great that you included resources for further reading on senior isolation and loneliness.
It's funny. I keep telling my husband we live in such an isolated area (for me, I'm more comfortable in metropolitan areas) I'm "feeling" isolated. He responds with "it's a beautiful area..." Talking to the squirrels and the birds isn't quite getting it for me. I have wonderful neighbors and we chat when I head to the mailbox or go out for a walk... but it isn't the same as walking down the street to grab a cup of coffee at the local bodega or being inside the hustle and bustle of city life (and scape).
Janice, Thank you for this. Insisting on self care - even in small doses, is an entirely different skill set for me. But I am working on it. I appreciate your encouragement. Also, I am so sorry for the loss of Dan. Sending love and light.
Hi Janice, This is an important topic and resource for everyone. I always appreciate the graceful way you reflect and share your ideas. This article, together with another, inspires me to share more of my reflections. To pull one thread here - in our love-bubble, I enabled my parents and I to have more treasured moments together. Sometimes this may have felt like we were isolating ourselves from everyone, but in other dramatic moments, I felt like I was protecting them.
Loneliness and Isolation affect caregivers and the people they care for.
Janice, your words are what I so needed to hear today. 💛
Wonderful resources and info, Janice. Thank you!
This, Janice, is valuable for obvious reasons. In my instance I’m 75 and my wife will turn 65 in August. A neurological problem, 4 years and counting, greatly limits my daily step count. Going to dinner or a concert together in the evening is usually a no go for me due to pain. I encourage my wife to hook up with friends and go dancing. See a movie. Explore a new park that just opened.
Am I expecting a diagnosis of dementia soon. No. Women outlive men. Our 10-year age difference poses the prospect of my dying before her. She has no children from a prior marriage, while my son & family live about 100 miles away. Not down the street. I know they could visit and bring my granddaughter to raise spirits. My hope is for Beth to have a routine and circle of friends with whom she can share company. Skill building.
My mom said when she was taking care of my step-dad when he had Alzheimer’s, none of their own friends came around. I noticed when I was taking care of my elderly mom who was terminal with Cancer, none of her friends came around. I often wondered why???
It is always inspiring to me Janice, that, though it is too late for you to apply all these learnings to your caring for Dan, you are making a pointed effort to apply them to yourself as you age and to share them with others. You are a very strong woman. Thank you.
This is such valuable information Janice. My Mom struggled with learning technology, she would try and then forget and get very frustrated. The last couple years we put everything aside and would try to write in a big notebook. I feel sick when I wonder if she was lonely. I'm sure she was but she also was quite stubborn about getting involved, it was a tricky dance.
Thanks for this important read Janice. Loneliness is hard for anyone dealing with it. I think the pandemic heightened awareness of this important issue. I have lived a lone for many years now, it's tough at times.
Janice, you make such a good point...you like being alone but still, there is loneliness. Thank you for this post. Your work helps raise awareness of the challenges of caregiving as well as the loneliness of being the one left behind. Having a social network is so important.
Isolation, yes. But loneliness? No.
Thank you. Nice change from the incessant, vitriolic and acerbic propaganda spewed by others on this platform.
This is a powerful article that acknowledges the challenges caregivers face in overcoming isolation and loneliness. I appreciate your honesty about how the suggested strategies like respite care and support groups weren't effective for you in the past. The revised approach you outline, with a focus on persistence and finding the right fit for support, is valuable advice for other caregivers. It's also great that you included resources for further reading on senior isolation and loneliness.
It's funny. I keep telling my husband we live in such an isolated area (for me, I'm more comfortable in metropolitan areas) I'm "feeling" isolated. He responds with "it's a beautiful area..." Talking to the squirrels and the birds isn't quite getting it for me. I have wonderful neighbors and we chat when I head to the mailbox or go out for a walk... but it isn't the same as walking down the street to grab a cup of coffee at the local bodega or being inside the hustle and bustle of city life (and scape).
Janice, Thank you for this. Insisting on self care - even in small doses, is an entirely different skill set for me. But I am working on it. I appreciate your encouragement. Also, I am so sorry for the loss of Dan. Sending love and light.
Hi Janice, This is an important topic and resource for everyone. I always appreciate the graceful way you reflect and share your ideas. This article, together with another, inspires me to share more of my reflections. To pull one thread here - in our love-bubble, I enabled my parents and I to have more treasured moments together. Sometimes this may have felt like we were isolating ourselves from everyone, but in other dramatic moments, I felt like I was protecting them.