A year ago, I thought if I did what experts recommended—moved more, ate well, stayed engaged, managed stress, and took care of myself—I’d create a better quality of life as my body got older. I still believe that’s true.
However, what I didn’t realize was that making those adjustments wouldn’t stop my body from aging. Our systems wear down over time - period. This was a discouraging insight at the time and not one I really wanted to have.
Yet, with that understanding, I could begin adjusting because maybe it’s possible to at least slow the process down if I followed those recommendations.
The truth is that as our body gets older, it experiences a gradual decline in cell repair, lower bone density, reduced muscle mass, stiffer blood vessels, and slower metabolism. Organs tend to lose functional capacity, skin loses elasticity, and vision and hearing senses weaken. These declines are natural and we can’t stop them.
What I’ve also learned is that although much is written about the physical process of our aging bodies, much less has been written regarding the emotions involved. Yet, emotions are deeply connected to and experienced through the physical body. So, they play a major - often ignored - role as well.
Below, I discus what I’m finding at 87 years old compared to the general advice experts give.
Emotions
Experts say that as we age, our brain sends signals through the nervous system and hormones to change how our body works. They suggest older adults learn and strengthen emotional regulation by combining mindfulness, grounding exercises, and physical movement tailored to their physical and cognitive needs.
What I’m Finding:
I agree with the mind-body connection, but it’s more complex than just being mindful and physically moving. I was experiencing emotions I didn’t realize existed like strong anger. Needing help with certain tasks and having to figure out new ones was causing frustration, embarrassment, and a sense of powerlessness. Current coping mechanisms were no longer working.
Experts say physical changes in our aging bodies can directly cause mood swings such as irritability. Physical aging alters brain structures and hormone levels, which changes how we experience and manage our emotions.
What I’m Finding:
I agree. So far, physical changes have led to irritability, but that same emotion may be causing physical issues. It’s a mind-body loop.
Experts say older adults may be better at calming down after a stressful event, more able to focus on happy memories and ignore minor annoyances, let go of superficial conflicts, and focus on meaningful relationships.
What I’m Finding:
That hasn’t been my experience - at least yet.
As best I can, my plan is to honor those feelings and make choices that move me forward as much as possible.
Daily Habits
Experts say aging is a continuous bodily process where cells and organs gradually lose their peak function, but healthy daily habits may significantly slow down biological aging.
What I’m Finding:
Maybe that’s where the focus needs to be - on adjusting accordingly - but across the board. It isn’t just about exercising or eating healthy foods; it’s also about honoring our emotions, finding the positives in a situation, being grateful, and interacting with others.
So, it’s wise to acknowledge that our bodies age, and at the same time know there are ways to protect them -perhaps slowing down the process a bit - but, yes, it does take effort.
My question for you is this: Have you noticed your body aging, and what adaptations are you making?
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Dr. Janice Walton is a psychologist, widow, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and writer. She has written articles for Substack for the past five years and recently published a book, The Insider’s Guide to Aging Well Through the Eyes of an 87-year-old.
The Insider’s Guide to Aging Well brings together many of the ideas and themes we’ve discussed. It’s not separate from the newsletter, which is my primary focus, but an extension of it—a way to collect the articles in one place for those of you who may find that format more useful.
This link takes you to the book on Amazon. All proceeds will be donated to the Alzheimer’s Association in my husband’s name.
Have you noticed your body aging, and what adaptations are you making? Because it does and we might have to consider some adjustments.
Janice I so appreciate your pieces.