I loved your article, and, unfortunately, could totally identify with it. My husband died in August of ‘22, three days before what would have been our 58th. We met on a blind-date when I was 16, and were from the same area. We could just say “anything” and knew what we were talking about. I do believe Willie Nelson’s song to be correct. Grief is not something you get over, it’s something you get through. I’m still trying.
My life has been similar to yours with a 65 year relationship and 56 years of marriage.My grief of his loss will never stop and loneliness is always present despite the .distraction of acquaintances,exercise buddies ,travels etc Loneliness will be ever present to my last breath.Senior activities fill my days since I do not have a family you are blessed with.
I am totally on my own to seek meaning for the rest of.my existence at 85years of age.
"I am totally on my own to seek meaning for the rest of my existence at 85 years of age."
I am 87 and can so relate to "totally on my own". We each have such unique lives it has to be this way. I am so grateful for the internet and these communities... we are not totally on our own when we can reach across space to find others in the same position and know that the hard work of seeking meaning in our lives is being honestly and faithfully done by so many of our contemporaries.
"And at the same time, there is an underlying sadness and loneliness that I don’t think will ever go away - maybe I don’t want it to." I see myself in this statement. I loved her for 74 years. I have borne the grief for eight years now and expect to grieve the rest of my life. And it is okay. Thank you for all you do, Janice
There is much I relate to here even though Graham and I did not have the longevity. This December is our 20th anniversary. I found it heartening to read the other comments. Grief is something that we learn to live alongside.
Aloha from Hawaii. I’ll send pictures later.
Thank you for this wonderful piece!
Janice,
I loved your article, and, unfortunately, could totally identify with it. My husband died in August of ‘22, three days before what would have been our 58th. We met on a blind-date when I was 16, and were from the same area. We could just say “anything” and knew what we were talking about. I do believe Willie Nelson’s song to be correct. Grief is not something you get over, it’s something you get through. I’m still trying.
Hi Betty, I think of him as being my soul mate and agree with Willie about not getting over it. I’m not sure I will even get through it some days.
My life has been similar to yours with a 65 year relationship and 56 years of marriage.My grief of his loss will never stop and loneliness is always present despite the .distraction of acquaintances,exercise buddies ,travels etc Loneliness will be ever present to my last breath.Senior activities fill my days since I do not have a family you are blessed with.
I am totally on my own to seek meaning for the rest of.my existence at 85years of age.
"I am totally on my own to seek meaning for the rest of my existence at 85 years of age."
I am 87 and can so relate to "totally on my own". We each have such unique lives it has to be this way. I am so grateful for the internet and these communities... we are not totally on our own when we can reach across space to find others in the same position and know that the hard work of seeking meaning in our lives is being honestly and faithfully done by so many of our contemporaries.
"And at the same time, there is an underlying sadness and loneliness that I don’t think will ever go away - maybe I don’t want it to." I see myself in this statement. I loved her for 74 years. I have borne the grief for eight years now and expect to grieve the rest of my life. And it is okay. Thank you for all you do, Janice
That is the way, I see it now, I will miss him forever and that’s ok.
There is much I relate to here even though Graham and I did not have the longevity. This December is our 20th anniversary. I found it heartening to read the other comments. Grief is something that we learn to live alongside.
"Our level of togetherness was achieved through proximity and time, and there is no way to replace or recreate it."
I am 87 too and understand so well missing my husband and living with loneliness. So much love with no longer anywhere to find expression.
Luckily we have strands of experience in our lives that allow us to be healthy and happy with others or on our own.
"I am healthy; I have a purpose; and I've built a new life for myself."