Conquering FOMO

Focusing on What Really Matters

Photo by Tobi Brenner on Unsplash

FOMO! What’s that? I’d never heard of it until six months ago, so I did a Google search. Oh! It stands for "fear of missing out, " and refers to the anxiety or unease people might feel if they believe others are having more rewarding experiences than they are. The Family Caregivers website says this.

Caring for an aging or ailing family member, while rewarding at times, may mean sacrificing social interactions or missing milestones. With social media, family caregivers have a front-row seat to the highlight reels of their peers, which may cause them to experience FOMO or fear of missing out.

While anybody can experience this fear, it’s particularly true for young family caregivers who feel their responsibilities keep them from having their own lives. Still, by learning to use the right resources and having strong support systems can lessen the impact on mental health.

I never felt that way when I cared for Dan as he struggled with dementia - we were homebodies, enjoyed each others’ company, and still did things we liked until the pandemic quarantined us, and then everyone had a similar problem. It wasn’t only me.

With the arrival of social websites, FOMO has become a greater concern. It happens when people compare the highlights of their lives to those of others they read about.

Experts suggest options if someone recognizes they feel left out. They can ask themselves whether or not they are really missing out or if it just seems so. They can focus on what makes them happy and fulfilled, not what others do while remembering that what they read or hear may be true or wishful thinking.

Ultimately, life is about a person’s unique and memorable experiences, not about keeping up with others.

The Verywellmind website suggests people can overcome FOMO by noticing what they have rather than what they lack, spend less time on the phone or social media, make plans with a friend, do something social that gets them out with friends or expressing gratitude somehow.

The article, So What Now? seems to offer a good strategy with The 3 R’s of Resiliency:

Reframe: Remind oneself of real connections, trustworthy people, and the deep sense of comfort those relationships provide.

Refocus - look for hidden gifts in the loss. Focusing on gratitude might help.

Redirect - embrace the present and enjoy the day as a step forward to meeting future goals and dreams. 

Ideally, as people become more self-aware of these feelings, they can use those strategies instead of letting fear of missing out consume them - because fear creates stress which keeps a person from aging well.

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