Beautiful piece, Janice. If only we understood, when we were young, that our beliefs would change radically and often. Maybe then we could prepare for it. You write so honestly about your life with Dan, and it resonates, not because any of us have lived it in the same way, but because you're putting yourself out there in a way that most women can relate. Especially women of our era.
Our strength is in our ability to understand ourselves better now. Not that we could change anything, but coping and adjusting are things that aren't new to us. We need to take the time to celebrate who we are and what we've come through.
I feel hope in everything you write. You've done that for me. Thank you.
Thank you for this essay, Janice. I’m intrigued by you saying “I had to release my beliefs about their honesty and my ability to advocate for Dan.”
My father is in a nursing home and I feel like my ability to advocate is lacking. When I bring up my concerns, they just look at me and nod and say they will do x, y, and z and never do.
Fighting for better care for my father leaves me angry and stressed and exhausted. And if I stop fighting, I feel like I’ve failed my father.
I appreciate how you identify the beliefs you held and how they had to change or you chose to change them. Many folks stick to their beliefs as they age and seem to struggle more than they need to on an already challenging path. I have found the work of Byron Katie very helpful, she has taught me to question if my thoughts are true and it turns out they rarely are!
Thank you, Janice, for sharing your doubts and beliefs with us. We are all going through the same thing - or will be, and it is good to know that we are not the only ones. I always believed I would die in my fifties, as I lived a rather dangerous life style. But I didn't, and I am ...ahem...well past that age and am making it up as I go along. You have helped me figure it out.
The Lens We View The World Through
Great piece. You tell it like it is and that is most valuable
Beautiful piece, Janice. If only we understood, when we were young, that our beliefs would change radically and often. Maybe then we could prepare for it. You write so honestly about your life with Dan, and it resonates, not because any of us have lived it in the same way, but because you're putting yourself out there in a way that most women can relate. Especially women of our era.
Our strength is in our ability to understand ourselves better now. Not that we could change anything, but coping and adjusting are things that aren't new to us. We need to take the time to celebrate who we are and what we've come through.
I feel hope in everything you write. You've done that for me. Thank you.
Thank you for this essay, Janice. I’m intrigued by you saying “I had to release my beliefs about their honesty and my ability to advocate for Dan.”
My father is in a nursing home and I feel like my ability to advocate is lacking. When I bring up my concerns, they just look at me and nod and say they will do x, y, and z and never do.
Fighting for better care for my father leaves me angry and stressed and exhausted. And if I stop fighting, I feel like I’ve failed my father.
Where you able to find a balance?
I appreciate how you identify the beliefs you held and how they had to change or you chose to change them. Many folks stick to their beliefs as they age and seem to struggle more than they need to on an already challenging path. I have found the work of Byron Katie very helpful, she has taught me to question if my thoughts are true and it turns out they rarely are!
Thank you, Janice, for sharing your doubts and beliefs with us. We are all going through the same thing - or will be, and it is good to know that we are not the only ones. I always believed I would die in my fifties, as I lived a rather dangerous life style. But I didn't, and I am ...ahem...well past that age and am making it up as I go along. You have helped me figure it out.