36 Comments

I want to thrive more than just survive this getting older business.

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Thrive more than survive. Yes to this and making self care in all its dimensions a priority. From your 87 yr old friend who knows a thing or two.

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Well said. You have opened the door to bigger picture thinking for me.

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I have to say, Janice, you may have a few physical limitations at age 86 ( and why wouldn't you?) but there sure is nothing limited about your brain power! You post such smart, vital, engaging advice and testimony week after week. I am so proud of you and only hope my own brain continues to fire on most cylinders for a few more years. You give me hope, girl!

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Hi Sharron. Thanks so much. I think of myself as a lifelong student and an avid reader, so my brain has had a lot of practice. I love the challenge.

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“My desire to be well informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.” - From Sipress New Yorker cartoon.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/8f/48/05/8f480541ac1df94452f9ca73eb03a1ac.jpg

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What a great point.

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Hi Janice ~ just wanted to add I'm trying to stay up with modern technology too. But I'm not sure if it will help me stay in touch socially. Ha! I got a fitness tracker for Valentine's Day. I was sitting on the couch this afternoon reading my novel on Kindle for book club. All of a sudden my phone dinged, my iPad dinged AND my new fitness tracker dinged -- all at once with a text message. I'm questioning this new method of aging well. HA! Have a great week. {{Hugs}}

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Jan, Boy, I know what you mean. There are so many devices and dings - it's a full-time job managing them. You too, have a great week!!!

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very impressive Janice! And I gave up turning on the news first thing in the morning a while back. Now, I take all my news in written form, from carefully selected sources. As for fresh flowers, I hope to have them in my apartments, forever!

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Hi Avivah, I wish I'd turned off the news much sooner - I guess it had been a habit because I sure don't miss it.

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I always felt it was a like a duty to those impacted - to watch and empathize with eyes wide open. But it undoes me - and my sleep - so doesn’t serve anyone.

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How beautifully this reflects how I live, despite health challenges. Waking up with a tickling in the belly of anticipation & pleasure - days are where we live!- of plans or the many possibilities. Such a choice of where we place our presence - e.g news or novel?

I recently found myself begrudging the seemingly endless tasks my lovely space needed of me, & suddenly, mid shaking out the duvet, I recalled a poem I had written many years ago about the joy of monotony, the every day sameness.

It brought sharply into focus the longest time when I could do nothing for myself at all, and when even survival seemed unlikely.

I finished making the bed, slowly, smiling & humming!

NOW I could go and journal with crayons and then prepare something tasty & new to feed my body & my spirit!

Thank you Janice for reminding of ‘this urgent thing, forgotten! 🌞🪷

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Sue, I love your reminder regarding the joy of monotony. I tend to go through the motions rather than enjoy the task - which, as you say, once done, allows me to do my writing and art. It also occurred to me that I was thinking of them as chores; maybe tasks is a better frame of reference.

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Good job pulling those blinds open to let the light in. Andrew Huberman talks about the importance of getting sun in our eyes (not through a window) first thing in the morning. I admit this isn't something I routinely do but I do let the light come in the window. I love that you are continuing to deepen your exploration of what well-being means!

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Hi Donna, I think it's too often overlooked in discussions about aging. We need to enjoy the journey along the way.

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Yes and it’s weird how hard that is to do sometimes!

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Hi Donna, I certainly know how that goes.

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Caretaking it’s the worst thing for your social life. And then getting back out in world so daunting. You don’t look as good as you once did for one thing.

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It's true. Caretaking takes a toll.

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Janice, this article inspired to change my morning routine this week. Starting tomorrow for the first hour I'm going to try the video/music idea.

I (typically) start with email, the news, and sometimes read my book in the morning. What I really need to do is jump out of bed, take a shower, drink water, and either write or watch a video to start.

I usually feel my best when I first wakeup so why I start with stuff that isn't that important I don't know, just be default I guess. Life shouldn't be lived by default. This was the message I got from this read. Thank you! (I'll report back next week!)

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Hi Patti, Please let me know.

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How wonderful to read your work, I've just become a grandmother and I'm thinking about how to manage my wellbeing going forward. I hope I do as well as you !

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Hi Louise, Congratulations on becoming a grandmother. I have two adult grandsons who add so much to my life. I also have a three-year-old great-granddaughter, and she is such a joy! I'm learning to play again. I suspect you are on the right track for cultivating well-being.

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Janice, I am 87 next month. I can relate easily to everything you say in your writing here. Thank you for the care and detail with which you have articulated the thoughts we are all more or less having at our age.

You are so right that our solutions to the question of how we continue to meet our needs and interests has to be a personal one. To this end, I too have been considering how to go forward with confidence to continue to create the life I want to live rather than to survive the one imposed on me by my limitations.

I recently had a health challenge which left me weak and in pain for a time. I am now mostly recovered. During the time I needed to make accommodations to my daily life routines, I thought about how I wish to apply my declining energies in this life. In fact, during my illness I could just manage my life with the barest essentials of home maintenance. But I mused on the fact that if I paid others to do the housework, help with the animals (feeding and cleaning), odd jobs and the garden I could spend that recently restricted energy level on what I like to do.

I am fortunate that I can afford to employ people in these capacities. After all, if I were in a care home, it would cost a great deal more than it would cost to pay people to work in my home to allow me to stay here living the life I want to live… living well.

I tried out the idea. I now have recovered my strength somewhat and I am not resuming the household chores, etc. I am increasingly spending my energies on water colour painting (my art), with my horses, reading books, maintaining social contacts by phone and email, and writing memoirs. Good luck to everyone here and warmest wishes to you all in meeting our challenges in as many different ways as we can imagine.

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Hi Sylvia, I am also very fortunate that I can afford to employ people who help out as needed, allowing me and my cats to remain in the apartment. I love reading about your choices for well-being. One of mine is also art - but acrylic painting.

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Ah I understand and you know what...time for self compassion too. I know that I need that as I have hit the so-called rock bottom after my pretty traumatic decade and am going more slowly too. I am listening to my body more than I used to. I still have to counter the active (and sometimes critical brain!) Your best choice, from what "we" see coming out of the news, is to NOT start your day that way any more. Go well. Janice, I learn a lot from you. Denyse x

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Hi Denyse, Isn't that the truth - NOT to start your day with the news.

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We now start with Wordle!

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I start with YouTube videos by Tim Janis. He beautifully incorporates music and scenery from all over the world. For me, it's a much more peaceful way to spend the day.

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Your wheel that includes what works, or should I say functions, best for you is a statement as to how well you've started to think this through so you are able to sem-generalize to many others. If what functions well for you allows others to see how they, including me, might shift, that's a great legacy. I often think of how to expand what I have and need to understand this substack better so that the flights of upliftedness get communicated better.

I'm learning. And thanks for helping me learn.

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Jill, It is my pleasure to share what I have learned with others. Thank you.

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Thanks, Janice, for the practical & personal observations. Our investment in life can now yield interest.

Rumi's balance:

"Live as if you have one hundred more years, and, live as if this was your last day on Earth."

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Hi Anita, Rumi was a wise man - wasn't he?

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