20 Comments

One day at a time. Prepare as best we can for the future. Remember to embrace the things we've done right and enjoy those few precious moments we call joy. Great read as always, thank you.

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What a great formula!

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Thank you for sharing your insights.

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I think what you are doing here is very much needed. As I mentioned a different time, I was a caregiver and guardian for one of my parents when I was in my 20s - about 20 years ago. It was an incredibly stressful experience made even worse, in my opinion, because there is so little support for caregivers in the world. Your willingness to share your experiences is helping a lot of people who find themselves in the caregiver role. I always look forward to reading your posts. Thank you!

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Hi, I so agree with your point about there being so little support for the caregiver . . I sure couldn't find it at the time.

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"Today, I practice being proactive by taking charge, being prepared, and making informed choices - as best I can." Me, too! I am almost set. This whole series has been so helpful to my own process of sorting things out. I am so grateful, Janice. I wish I had had all this positive encouragement when I was caring for my mother. But now, I am "caring for" myself and the information is priceless. All I can say is thank you.

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Hi Sharron, I think that's the most important part taking care of ourselves and being our own rock. Only we truly know what is right for us.

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Sadly others don't always agree with that. So we need to take action before it is needed. You have been so helpful to lots of people.

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Unfortunately, so true. Thank you so much, I hope so.

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As always this is so well written and so meaningful . Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your encouragement with us. Your courage shines through your words and gives hope to us all.

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Thank you so much Karen.

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I have been a caregiver, and I am still a caregiver Going on three years for a woman that has Alzheimer’s, dementia, and Lewy body dementia. While every patient is different, and each phase is different that they go through, There is not enough education or ongoing education for us caregivers. No one taught Me, I researched online and took what I had read with me when I started the position. But it was not enough, I needed more, but more it was not to be found, because every patient is different. I’ve learned more by doing. And there isn’t an outlet for us to relieve stress, except in our own home. The family I work for has been very supportive, and I’m blessed to have. Had you still have that. Blessings Janice, keep doing what you’re doing. Thank you.

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Hi Mary, Thank you so much for your comments. They encourage me to keep going. Like you, I was so unprepared to manage all the demands of caregiving someone with dementia and what I read were platitudes that did not fit our situation in so many ways. The woman you care for is lucky to have you.

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I've taken the quote 'Feeling sorry for ourselves...' in its entirety to write in my little book of notable quotes - validations if you like - and I think it's a beauty.

Our son (39) was unbelievably diagnosed yesterday with cystic lung disease and we are reeling. That quote applies to all of us in the family, including he, his wife and his five year old son.

My husband and I are in our mid 70's and who knows what life has in store. You've prompted me to be proactive and organise our lives. We owe it to ourselves and to our family who are under enough duress.

Thank you, so much. You're a very brave and honest woman.

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Hi Prue, I am so sorry to hear about your son. I wish him - and your family - the very best. I thought it interesting - the article coming out tomorrow talks about focusing on solutions - accepting the facts - and asking oneself "now what I am going to do about it?" It appears you are doing just that by being proactive and organizing your lives around this major life change. Take care of yourself and keep me posted.

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Janice, I hear so much regret in your writing. My heart breaks for you, but I take comfort in knowing this writing is helping you heal. I lost my father too soon at 58 to a normally treatable cancer. I still wonder 19 years later what would have happened if my parents had gotten a second opinion.

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Hi Kristi, It's true - I do wish I could have done more and, yes, writing has been a huge part of the healing process. That was one of my "what if's" as well, what if I'd gotten a second opinion. 58 is far too young to die for any reason.

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Your series of articles have been quite thought provoking. I know that there was a lot covered in your newsletters that most of us don't think about in advance. Thanks for covering it and perhaps pushing us to take some action, and be proactive and understand the issues before it's needed. Much appreciated!

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Hi Liz, That is the hope. We weren't prepared, didn't plan in advance, and it wasn't our wisest decision.

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