Embracing Change

It's Not As Easy As We Think

Photo by Simon Hurry on Unsplash

The older I get, the more changes are occurring. Not only does my body not do what it once did, but the beliefs I held for years no longer seem to apply; the losses are more than I imagined, and the world isn’t the one I knew.

I finally get it - many of my previous beliefs and habits are outdated. My life and the world are different now, and it’s time to reevaluate—that’s just the beginning. Then, I must decide what to change and what keeps me from doing so.

A key seems to be acknowledging what’s true now and making decisions about it. This includes knowing my goals and values and working toward them even if they aren’t fun or rewarding in the short term.

No matter how well someone understands the need for change, barriers make it difficult. After answering the following questions from the article "What Keeps Me From Changing," I identified several that are in my way.

• Was it me who wanted to make these changes? Somewhere along the way, I lost myself trying to be what others wanted me to be.
  My choices today are more about me being who I want to be.

• Was I willing to let go of the past? Or was I held back by what I thought was the right way to think and act?
  My parents taught me beliefs and values that no longer apply—so it seems. A cardinal rule was “tell the truth.” Today, fake news, alternative facts, misinformation, and outright lies prevail. I can no longer believe what politicians, health professionals, and advertisements—to name a few—say and must make better-informed decisions.

• Do I doubt my ability to change? Have I become cynical and bitter, creating a belief that makes new possibilities harder to see?
  I didn’t realize that making changes would be necessary - until I did.

• Was my personality holding me back? Was anxiety, depression, insecurity, dependency, and impatience getting in the way?
  Yes!

• What keeps me from moving on? Was I doing everything right to create a better life but falling back into ineffective, over-used thought patterns and behaviors?
  Absolutely.

• Was I afraid to take risks? Was I stuck in the same rut, hiding from change that could be the best thing ever?
  Yes!

• Was I afraid to be a different person? Positive change feels good but requires releasing outdated thoughts and actions, which can be scary.
  Yes. Would people like the new me? Maybe that’s not as important as my parents taught me. Perhaps it’s more important that I like me.

Answering those questions - honestly - opens the door to barriers that block meaningful change and may help me age well. It’s worth the effort.

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Janice Walton is a psychologist, a widow, a mother, a grandmother, a great-grandmother, and a writer. Her book Aging Well: 30 Lessons for Making the Most of Your Later Years is available on Amazon, and she has written articles for Substack for four years.