Words Have Power

Especially Ones We Say to Ourselves

Photo by Andreas Fickl on Unsplash

When the computer doesn’t work, and my first thought is, “I don’t know what to do,” - worries rise to the surface. However, if that first thought is, “I don’t know what to do yet,” my perspective changes, and options come to mind. One word makes a difference.

After making a mistake, I berate myself, but if I add the word “and” with a possible next step for fixing the issue, I can move on.

Telling myself, “I can’t,” brings me to a standstill, but thinking of a task as an experiment frees me.

That’s self-talk—what people say to themselves or their inner voice. They may not be aware of it, but it’s there—combining conscious thoughts with built-in beliefs and biases to create an internal monologue throughout the day. It affects emotions, moods, and actions.

My self-talk goes nonstop - and it’s not particularly friendly.

Self-talk comes from experiences and people we meet throughout life - what they say and how they say it - and things we see on the news or read about online. The words we hear most often are likely the ones that stick in our minds.

These patterns start in childhood. They become a habit that colors our thinking for years and affects us in many ways, influencing our life stress experience. However, now can be an excellent time to change.

The VeryWell Mind article, What Is Positive Self Talk? describes positive self-talk and then, in a second article, says

If your self-talk is generally negative, you may perceive events as more stressful than they need to be, creating unnecessary anxiety and stress.

Three points from the article stood out for me.

• Seeing myself as less equipped to handle the challenges I face

• Having a habit of negative thinking that unnecessarily consumes idle time and brings stress from the past into the present without leading to a resolution

• Finding good and humor in situations - even small examples

Making such a change is daunting at my age, but it’s worth the effort. Life is more challenging to enjoy with so much criticism.

I’ve begun new practices.

• Talk about what I want - rather than what I don’t want to.

• Focus on things I’ve done rather than those I haven’t done.

• Applaud my accomplishments - even the small ones.

The article 21 Questions To Be Your Own Life Coach: Thought Provoking Questions To Explore & Heal might be valuable.

What you say to yourself regularly really does make a difference.

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