I have a motto that I adopted after our son died. "Life is random. Everything happens for no reason." I don't take things personally any more, it is a gift of aging. I will be 80 next week and looking forward to continuing on a good path and taking life as it comes. I'm thinking there may be difficulties down the path but there will also be blessings. I'm going to keep doing my best and living in gratitude.
Such a great topic! While I don't feel others are responsible for my problems, I do sometimes feel I'm the victim of bad luck and turn that into a woe-est me attitude. I need to work on accepting those things, or maybe changing them occasionally, as in the serenity prayer.
Janice, thank you for this incredibly honest and powerful reflection. Your journey from what you call "victim thinking" to "victor thinking" is a beautiful and courageous one.
The insight you share - that you "cause or contribute to many of my problems through my choices" - is the absolute cornerstone of personal agency. It's a difficult truth to confront, but it's also the most empowering realization a person can have. It's the moment we stop being a passenger in our own lives and take the wheel.
Your action plan is a perfect, practical blueprint for this shift. I especially admire your focus on acknowledging what you can and can't control. It's a principle I explore often in my own work at The Measured Word, and seeing it articulated through the lens of your life experience is deeply resonant.
Thank you for sharing your hard-won wisdom with us.
Hi Tom, Thank you so much. I do wish I'd figured it out sooner - my role in causing and contributing to my own problems, that is. Realizing the connection had made a significant difference in my thinking now.
My story is similar too and at 68, I'm finally learning to let go of self criticism and accept myself exactly as I am. It's a tough process (changing a lifetime's responses) but I'm doing the 'work' and it's never too late....Karen
You always write about so many of my aging concerns -- and I have many. I am always appreciative of your insights. Fortunately, the topic of this post does not apply to me! Whew! I grew up in a family plagued by alcoholism, but I have never felt like a victim. I always knew I was strong and capable. I had to be. But I have two friends who always react to the world in the role of a victim, so I know how debilitating it can be. Thank you, my friend
Hi Sharron, your travel stories prove to me that you know exactly how strong and capable you were and are. That may be the difference; you had to be, and I wasn't allowed to be.
It seems that the older we get, the more aware we must be of making choices that empower us rather than victimize us.
I have a motto that I adopted after our son died. "Life is random. Everything happens for no reason." I don't take things personally any more, it is a gift of aging. I will be 80 next week and looking forward to continuing on a good path and taking life as it comes. I'm thinking there may be difficulties down the path but there will also be blessings. I'm going to keep doing my best and living in gratitude.
Such a great topic! While I don't feel others are responsible for my problems, I do sometimes feel I'm the victim of bad luck and turn that into a woe-est me attitude. I need to work on accepting those things, or maybe changing them occasionally, as in the serenity prayer.
Janice, thank you for this incredibly honest and powerful reflection. Your journey from what you call "victim thinking" to "victor thinking" is a beautiful and courageous one.
The insight you share - that you "cause or contribute to many of my problems through my choices" - is the absolute cornerstone of personal agency. It's a difficult truth to confront, but it's also the most empowering realization a person can have. It's the moment we stop being a passenger in our own lives and take the wheel.
Your action plan is a perfect, practical blueprint for this shift. I especially admire your focus on acknowledging what you can and can't control. It's a principle I explore often in my own work at The Measured Word, and seeing it articulated through the lens of your life experience is deeply resonant.
Thank you for sharing your hard-won wisdom with us.
Hi Tom, Thank you so much. I do wish I'd figured it out sooner - my role in causing and contributing to my own problems, that is. Realizing the connection had made a significant difference in my thinking now.
My story is similar too and at 68, I'm finally learning to let go of self criticism and accept myself exactly as I am. It's a tough process (changing a lifetime's responses) but I'm doing the 'work' and it's never too late....Karen
Bravo, to you, Karen. I, too, am trying to accept myself as I am and totally agree that it's a challenging process.
I’m a massive pre-worrier.
I know how that goes.
Unfortunately I have honed that skill well.
It was useful in corporate. Not so much now!
You always write about so many of my aging concerns -- and I have many. I am always appreciative of your insights. Fortunately, the topic of this post does not apply to me! Whew! I grew up in a family plagued by alcoholism, but I have never felt like a victim. I always knew I was strong and capable. I had to be. But I have two friends who always react to the world in the role of a victim, so I know how debilitating it can be. Thank you, my friend
Hi Sharron, your travel stories prove to me that you know exactly how strong and capable you were and are. That may be the difference; you had to be, and I wasn't allowed to be.
I think that may be the case. But, wow! You are on it now. I am always so impressed by what you have learned.
I’ve done my share of this in my life(77), thus - this is a valuable article with excellent suggestions for awareness and control.
Thanks Janice. 😘
Hi Catherine, I wish that I'd understood the importance of personal power sooner.