Thank you for this excellent piece Janice. Very helpful. I’m sending it to my friend who is struggling with her husband’s dementia.
My brother and I had 3 1/2 years all through Covid taking care of our mother, losing our youngest brother to Covid (due to that orange monster’s dithering and Kushner’s absolute evil actions) and the last year, our father’s spiraling dementia. I so relate to the emotional journey.
This is a brilliant article. Lots if times "Should I ..." comes into my mind. But I have learnt that whenever I question something with a should, the answer is always No. I will look at some of those articles you referenced
Thanks Janice, you gracefully share and normalise the emotional turmoil all caregivers face. Even if we flow with the reality our loved one has in Dementia, or any other chronic debilitating medical condition, we absorb the emotional burden of flexing/bending to meet them where they are...sometimes we don't know if we can really stretch/bend that far without breaking.
Love is such a high, perfectionist standard that caregivers hold ourselves to...too many 'shoulds' when we're only humans doing our best. Thanks for the resources. Sharing and discussing these reflections is important to ensure we don't feel alone. xo
My mothers confusion level is increasing and memory declining. Yesterday she said ‘I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what’s happening.’ My cousin told me that her mother had sad exactly those words while in full dementia. All of what you said applies to us. But she has been accepted to in-home hospice care. We have help and are moving forward.
All of these are understandable feelings. However, I’m better informed today and would have a better plan.
Thank you, Janice! The help you are giving to others is priceless!
Thank you for this excellent piece Janice. Very helpful. I’m sending it to my friend who is struggling with her husband’s dementia.
My brother and I had 3 1/2 years all through Covid taking care of our mother, losing our youngest brother to Covid (due to that orange monster’s dithering and Kushner’s absolute evil actions) and the last year, our father’s spiraling dementia. I so relate to the emotional journey.
Hi,
Yes, I probably mentioned it, but Dan died of COVID which he contracted at the memory care facility. Those were extra tough times for all of us.
I’m so sorry.
This is a brilliant article. Lots if times "Should I ..." comes into my mind. But I have learnt that whenever I question something with a should, the answer is always No. I will look at some of those articles you referenced
Hi Cali, Good answer -"should I?" - NO!
Excallent Janice. So helpful. I have sent it on my friend who is struggling with a dear husband who suffers from dementia
Hi Sharron, I hope it helps her - it is a challenge for sure.
Thanks Janice, you gracefully share and normalise the emotional turmoil all caregivers face. Even if we flow with the reality our loved one has in Dementia, or any other chronic debilitating medical condition, we absorb the emotional burden of flexing/bending to meet them where they are...sometimes we don't know if we can really stretch/bend that far without breaking.
Love is such a high, perfectionist standard that caregivers hold ourselves to...too many 'shoulds' when we're only humans doing our best. Thanks for the resources. Sharing and discussing these reflections is important to ensure we don't feel alone. xo
My mothers confusion level is increasing and memory declining. Yesterday she said ‘I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what’s happening.’ My cousin told me that her mother had sad exactly those words while in full dementia. All of what you said applies to us. But she has been accepted to in-home hospice care. We have help and are moving forward.
Hi Debbie, I found in-care home care to be such a gift for both of us even though the care was provided at the memory care facility where he lived.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and instead of my own face I see that bird…
Hi Lucy, I know what you mean - the angry bird.
Hi CJ, Your point is well-taken-that is what I would remind the younger me to allow more grace and compassion for both of us.