Love this. “Capability with presence” and your wanting to always try first to fix something are the hallmarks of a strong, proud, confident woman who never liked hearing the words “no” or “can’t.”
This is such a great message. I just turned 40 and I've been giving a lot of thought to how I want to be purposeful in my middle age and beyond. I've been strength training for about four months now--never did it before! But what a difference. PLUS I know this is a gift to my future self. I'm going to hold on to that "message of capability" as a mantra moving forward.
Well done Erin, starting strength training in your 40’s is a huge gift to your health. If you like learning about living a purposeful life in the middle that’s what I write about in my newsletter which Janice has been kind enough to recommend❤️
Janice you walk 5 miles??!!!!! That's amazing. Like Michael said 84 is the new 72.
There are so many aspects to not acting our age. It always brings to mind the book Younger Next Year (a great book!) where they said to look younger make sure your eyeglass frames are current and your teeth aren't yellow. I've paid attention to the eyeglasses and noticed how much of a difference that makes. If we have frames dating back a couple of decades it seems to add years. For those who haven't read that book it's not about how we look. Those two suggestions are the only ones I can remember about appearance, it's about how to be healthy.
Also, I think we might need more police station stories, that must have been interesting.
Hi Donna, yes 5 miles but not all at once..through out the day. I will be checking into that book. Thanks 🙏. Police stories, eh. More as we go, but it was an experience of a lifetime. I was given the opportunity to develop a counseling program for kids in the local schools and for a year I was the juvenile officer.. not a good idea for a civilian.
Hey. I'm almost 66, and I just took on training a new young horse. Well, he's 8 years old and pretty good-minded, but he's still young, excitable, and he has holes in his training. I'm taking it slow and easy. We'll get there. I notice that the habits I had fallen into with my older mare--sloppy habits including being slower to get into the saddle--seem to have vaporized because I can't do those with this boy.
And Denny Emerson, the former Olympic-level eventer, is still riding and he's in his 80s. Broke his neck at 70 but got back into the saddle. He keeps talking about the one eventer he knew who took up the sport in his 70s. Um. Not me. But I can work with this horse, and he'll keep me younger.
And at almost 72, I don't want to act or be old. There's a wonderful meme online which I printed off and have stuck inside my wardrobe door:
'LIfe's Journey is not to arrive at the grave safely, in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting “Holy shit, what a ride!” '- Hunter S Thompson
"So, even though I’m older, I know to provide a message of capability with my presence." Every word you write, Janice Walton, is a testimony to your capability! Old ladies rule!
I’m struggling with this situation with my mother, who is 92. She can’t remember things; I think it’s because her mind is running a mile a minute and she’s not being mindful. Until the other weekend when her grandson visited from 10:30 to 4:30. After I gave her the receipt for lunch, she asked if Daniel had lunch with us. He did, she sat next to him, and even offered him some of her shrimp several times.
My father passed on Wednesday and my fear is that her memory is going to get worse. I don’t know how to handle it. My instinct is to fix it--meditate, be mindful, take your time. And yet, I don’t think any of this will work. 😢
Thanks for the advice. My father had recurring UTIs and he had marked behavior changes. The forgetfulness that my mother is experiencing, on the other hand, has been slowly increasing since November, after Dad’s stroke. I’ll definitely keep close watch.
Teri I saw this with my mom and grandmother, who passed a few years ago at 93. Such a hard, hard thing to see those unequivocal signs that your loved one's memory is changing.
Teri I'm thinking about you as you mourn the loss of your father❤ All of it is so hard, both your Mom and your Dad and what has been going on. I just want you to know I'm thinking about you.
I don't exhibit the behaviors typically associated with an elderly lady. I act much younger than my age, but I still stick with my core values. So, a woman thinks, so she will be. That's a favorite quote of mine.
I like your attitude toward aging. I'm 73 years old and active and hope to continue making myself useful. I want to start a new adventure and be creative. Thanks for writing this post...I look forward to hearing more from you.
Exactly! I am 61, I am already worried about aging. Or should that be aging MORE? ;) My parents are 86 and 87, live in a house in the mountains and are doing okay, but slowing down. I worry about them going up and down stairs - then realized that might be what's helping them stay mobile! Thanks for your substack, wish I'd found it earlier!
Medical encounters require patient assertiveness and questioning of what the medical staff is proposing. That is so important as we age. I am glad I learned that skill while my parents aged.
Oh my goodness Janice. I just had this conversation with my Dr. yesterday. At the end of the visit we both agreed that "attitude" is probably one of the most important traits to impact our own well-being and that a positive one does way more than we might realize. I recall a line I read on a church board one day.... "Attitudes are contagious - is mine worth catching". I would have to say yours is absolutely worth catching!
Janice, your writing and sharing what has been going on in your life.....those are things many people couldn't/wouldn't do at any age. When I read your posts, I think of you as strong and brave, with no particular age attached.
And.....I agree with some of the other comments.....more police stories and stories of San Francisco. 💚
Heather, thank you so much. Oh, and San Francisco stories. I have plenty of those. Like where I was and what I was doing during the earthquake.. a truly unforgettable night.
It sounds like you are aging well. Being able to walk five miles is really impressive at 84.
Thank you! I must confess it’s not always at one time though, but through the day.
Still remarkable!
Love this. “Capability with presence” and your wanting to always try first to fix something are the hallmarks of a strong, proud, confident woman who never liked hearing the words “no” or “can’t.”
This is such a great message. I just turned 40 and I've been giving a lot of thought to how I want to be purposeful in my middle age and beyond. I've been strength training for about four months now--never did it before! But what a difference. PLUS I know this is a gift to my future self. I'm going to hold on to that "message of capability" as a mantra moving forward.
That’s super. Your future self will appreciate you, I’m sure👏👏
Well done Erin, starting strength training in your 40’s is a huge gift to your health. If you like learning about living a purposeful life in the middle that’s what I write about in my newsletter which Janice has been kind enough to recommend❤️
84 is the new 72
Love it👏👏
Janice you walk 5 miles??!!!!! That's amazing. Like Michael said 84 is the new 72.
There are so many aspects to not acting our age. It always brings to mind the book Younger Next Year (a great book!) where they said to look younger make sure your eyeglass frames are current and your teeth aren't yellow. I've paid attention to the eyeglasses and noticed how much of a difference that makes. If we have frames dating back a couple of decades it seems to add years. For those who haven't read that book it's not about how we look. Those two suggestions are the only ones I can remember about appearance, it's about how to be healthy.
Also, I think we might need more police station stories, that must have been interesting.
Hi Donna, yes 5 miles but not all at once..through out the day. I will be checking into that book. Thanks 🙏. Police stories, eh. More as we go, but it was an experience of a lifetime. I was given the opportunity to develop a counseling program for kids in the local schools and for a year I was the juvenile officer.. not a good idea for a civilian.
Yes! More police station stories, Janice!
I can do that. It was an amazing and difficult job.
Hey. I'm almost 66, and I just took on training a new young horse. Well, he's 8 years old and pretty good-minded, but he's still young, excitable, and he has holes in his training. I'm taking it slow and easy. We'll get there. I notice that the habits I had fallen into with my older mare--sloppy habits including being slower to get into the saddle--seem to have vaporized because I can't do those with this boy.
And Denny Emerson, the former Olympic-level eventer, is still riding and he's in his 80s. Broke his neck at 70 but got back into the saddle. He keeps talking about the one eventer he knew who took up the sport in his 70s. Um. Not me. But I can work with this horse, and he'll keep me younger.
Hi Joyce, I definitely think the horse will help keep you young. Enjoy!!!!!
Well said!
I walk at night with my dog. I heed your advice.
And at almost 72, I don't want to act or be old. There's a wonderful meme online which I printed off and have stuck inside my wardrobe door:
'LIfe's Journey is not to arrive at the grave safely, in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting “Holy shit, what a ride!” '- Hunter S Thompson
Hi Prue, that’s my motto-I love it!
Mine is:
"Ashes to ashes and dust to dust
Better to wear out than to rust."
Absolutely 👏👏
"So, even though I’m older, I know to provide a message of capability with my presence." Every word you write, Janice Walton, is a testimony to your capability! Old ladies rule!
That they do👍
I’m struggling with this situation with my mother, who is 92. She can’t remember things; I think it’s because her mind is running a mile a minute and she’s not being mindful. Until the other weekend when her grandson visited from 10:30 to 4:30. After I gave her the receipt for lunch, she asked if Daniel had lunch with us. He did, she sat next to him, and even offered him some of her shrimp several times.
My father passed on Wednesday and my fear is that her memory is going to get worse. I don’t know how to handle it. My instinct is to fix it--meditate, be mindful, take your time. And yet, I don’t think any of this will work. 😢
Hi Teri, My heart goes out to you. I agree there are situations that are not fixable-life takes it’s course despite what we try and want.
Make sure her doctor checks for a UTI.
Most of the time it's not a UTI and I'm sorry for what you're facing.
But I've had an aunt and friends have had mothers where what looked like dementia was an untreated UTI.
The right antibiotics and suddenly the dementia symptoms disappear.
So even though it's a long shot, ask them to test for it.
(My sister had to raise holy hell to get my aunt tested and then ooh, guess what?)
Thanks for the advice. My father had recurring UTIs and he had marked behavior changes. The forgetfulness that my mother is experiencing, on the other hand, has been slowly increasing since November, after Dad’s stroke. I’ll definitely keep close watch.
You're welcome.
A friend had a horror story where the assisted living facility wanted to move her mom into memory care but the family doctor checked for the UTI.
My sister had to insist my aunt's doctor check and it was a UTI.
The other thing I've heard is a new medication especially if the person goes to multiple doctors for multiple purposes.
Most of the time, it's not any of those things as you know, but I like to make sure others know what we found out the hard way.
(I for example never knew about the ties to anesthesia -- that's certainly changing my list of questions to ask before medical procedures.)
Memory loss and dementia are the hardest things to deal with. I'm sorry.
Teri I saw this with my mom and grandmother, who passed a few years ago at 93. Such a hard, hard thing to see those unequivocal signs that your loved one's memory is changing.
Teri I'm thinking about you as you mourn the loss of your father❤ All of it is so hard, both your Mom and your Dad and what has been going on. I just want you to know I'm thinking about you.
I don't exhibit the behaviors typically associated with an elderly lady. I act much younger than my age, but I still stick with my core values. So, a woman thinks, so she will be. That's a favorite quote of mine.
I like your attitude toward aging. I'm 73 years old and active and hope to continue making myself useful. I want to start a new adventure and be creative. Thanks for writing this post...I look forward to hearing more from you.
Exactly! I am 61, I am already worried about aging. Or should that be aging MORE? ;) My parents are 86 and 87, live in a house in the mountains and are doing okay, but slowing down. I worry about them going up and down stairs - then realized that might be what's helping them stay mobile! Thanks for your substack, wish I'd found it earlier!
Medical encounters require patient assertiveness and questioning of what the medical staff is proposing. That is so important as we age. I am glad I learned that skill while my parents aged.
Oh my goodness Janice. I just had this conversation with my Dr. yesterday. At the end of the visit we both agreed that "attitude" is probably one of the most important traits to impact our own well-being and that a positive one does way more than we might realize. I recall a line I read on a church board one day.... "Attitudes are contagious - is mine worth catching". I would have to say yours is absolutely worth catching!
Janice, your writing and sharing what has been going on in your life.....those are things many people couldn't/wouldn't do at any age. When I read your posts, I think of you as strong and brave, with no particular age attached.
And.....I agree with some of the other comments.....more police stories and stories of San Francisco. 💚
Heather, thank you so much. Oh, and San Francisco stories. I have plenty of those. Like where I was and what I was doing during the earthquake.. a truly unforgettable night.
Oh my. I hope you'll publish that one!
I’m turning 70 this year. And I’m proud to be an old lady after two bouts of cancer I’m so grateful to be going
Absolutely