15 Comments

After publishing the previous article, I thought it was time to examine my ideas about life as a widow—did they work as well as I thought, or not so much?

Expand full comment

Whether or not our plans materialize and come to be isn't what is most important. What is important is that we have plans and are looking forward. I say I make plans as insurance for the future. There are simply no guarantees about the future, at any age, and especially after 87 where I am, but I will keep on keeping on as long as I have the breath and ability to keep going and doing, every day. Blessed to be active and alert, most of the time, mind, body and spirit in concert. It's a team effort. It helps enormously to have a partner, one who cares and shares, is compassionate and understanding. Either of us will be OK when we are alone some day. Until then we're grateful to be living a life unfolding as we go along, following the plans and sometimes being spontaneous without a plan and just go for the adventure. And yes, indeed, it's all about change! Two kinds of change, planned and unplanned. We adapt and adjust accordingly.

Expand full comment

Hi Gary, I so agree with your point about having the plans, having the goals being the important part. I would add - and the willingness to change - which is the topic of a future article.

Expand full comment

Eggzackly, Janice. Willing and even excited to plan a change….

Expand full comment

It's good to know that you and others are making adjustments as we age. I am finding that is true for me as well, even on a daily basis. Take care!

Expand full comment

Hi Kate, It is a must I think. I thought if I did certain things I would maintain a certain level of capabilities, but I didn't count on the aging process.

Expand full comment

Hi Janice, thanks for sharing your process. 💓

Expand full comment

Janice! I didn't know you were a painter. Would you please show us more? Maybe a bit larger? I see a whole new side of you here. Delightful.

Expand full comment

Hi Sharron, It's in my plan to do so. 🩷 My daughter and I paint together almost every afternoon and she has been encouraging me to share them more often.

Expand full comment

I second the motion!

Expand full comment

Our lives keep changing don’t they? I’m grateful for your stack

Expand full comment

Hi Susan, Yes they do - like it or not.

Expand full comment

Another lovely, heartfelt and honest post Janice. I wish that from childhood, someone had taught me the importance of concepts like flexibility, acceptance and impermanence. Instead, like so many, I pretended that there is no human expiry date and yet when death did visit, I was totally unprepared. In western culture, we never talk about death, how it might impact us or how to prepare for it. I'm grateful that you make time to share your experiences. I hope it will help me as I grow older to make wiser decisions than I have so far!

Expand full comment

Hi Silvana, Thank you for your post. Dan and I vaguely discussed that date - our solution was to stay healthy - so like you I was totally unprepared. It's been four years and today I'm still dealing with the losses involved.

Expand full comment

I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you continue to face around the loss of your beloved Dan. I cannot being to imagine what it's like for you. I just hope that there is some softness in your heart and life that can ease the pain. 🌺

Expand full comment