I'm 79, husband is 85. As a young married couple in 1969 we made a conscious decision to make our health a priority and, likewise, to live within our income. We still exercise daily and encourage each other to keep going. Good lord willing and the creeks don't rise, we will be together many more years. I still remember myself at 21, the day I stood at my mother's grave and vowed to take care of my health. I'll never complain about being old, I view these many years of my life and my husband's as a gift and I am so thankful!
Hi Noel, you and your husband made some wise decisions. We prioritized income early in our marriage but waited until about 50 to work on the health side. We could have done better in that regard. That is so true; life is a real gift, and sharing it with your loved one is a double one.
I admire so much the way you boldly use phrases like "when I am 90" and "ten years from now". I sure wish I had your certitude, Janice. I have lived such a long, full life -- I cannot even imagine having another ten years. Every morning that I wake up and can still hobble to the coffee pot fills me with gratitude! Keep hammering away at us Janice. We need it! ha ha ha
Hi Sharron, I guess I think of it this way. Who knows what the future will bring, but I want to prepare just in case. I'd hate to be 90 and have to live with a basketful of health problems and not enjoy living. If I can do things now to help me, if there is a then, I want to do them.
I agree with everything you've said and my husband and I (both 73) try to live our separate lives as well as our together lives. And we are fully into general fitness, a healthy diet and healthy minds.
We've just taken ownership of a new pup (phew!) and my husband works fulltime three days a week as an overseas media consultant which means he travels periodically.
In addition, as he does all our finances (although I handle everything for my writing brand), he is putting together a 'life' portfolio. I came across it on Pinterest and it's a large folio, detailing every aspect of our lives, divided with coloured tabs and with names, phone numbers, file numbers, etc., dates for bills to be paid and so forth.
We've also arranged for our Apple Mac man to set our computers up with a single password which then lets us into to a cache of any other passwords we might need.
Hopefully, if I'm left behind, it will guide me and if he's left behind, it's insurance as he ages. It's also vital information for our two children. It's quite a big job setting it all up though.
Hello Janice I liked your newsletter, Like you I did not leave home until I was married, from one group to another. I had no real responsibilities at home, but it was very different when I married.
During our 57 years together G and I have travelled back and forth from the North American Continent to UK twice, following his work, selling homes packing boxes and dealing with Children who were leaving their friends and all they knew. He was not there, He was waiting for us, or working so it was all done by me, Kids, Cat and baggage, on a 9 hour flight Interesting.!!
Although I have not travelled the World , in its truest form I have travelled, and now at 78 I am Caregiver, for my Husband who suffers from Dementia and all that goes with too.
As a Christian woman, I have always felt that God was with me, put people in my way when I need them, taught me things, when I needed it and now stands behind me when I am exhausted
My Key to aging in these circumstances is, Faith, family ,friends ,keeping active .laughter, love, painting writing, and my English Cottage, herb garden. It is doubtful I will see the Country of my Birth again, travelling is too difficult with G, But when my time comes to an end, I will go out knowing I did my Best. Here's a though, I believe Salsa Dancing is the rage, Can the arthritic knees do it I wonder?
Thank you Janice for your inspirational message. I am recent widow - having lost my husband (my best friend) and my soul mate for 47 years. Please know how much I enjoy your post which I find very helpful.
So much the same for me, Janice. I had a career and was always active and playful but I knew my husband was always there for me. He cooked, fixed things, killed the spiders, planned our trips. When he passed away suddenly, I was so lost and clueless. My kids kept saying dad equipped you to carry on …and eventually that sunk in. Eleven years now and I’ve learned to live responsibly…but more day by day health, self care, clean home, eating well. I love your confidence and optimism to look forward ten more years! Looking ahead. I need to reframe my thinking! Going to visit my family in Australia ‘one more time’ should be again; and believe I could do it again in the years to come. Thank you for this nudge and kick-start to intentional responsibility for my future! Grateful and delighted with this post! ☺️❤️🥰
Hi Janet. Like you, I tend to age well. I too am in the process of putting together a document with all the useful info in it. If anything happens to me then it will be my brother or nephew who have to piece it all together. I want to make it easy for them.
Much like you I went right from childhood home, (to college dorm), to living then marrying my husband, so I never actually lived by myself. (I am 75 and been married over 50 years) And except for a few work trips and conventions, neither my husband or I were ever away from each other, certainly not for more than a week. And then when Covid hit, we had been retired for at least a decade, and had been and are together pretty much 24/7. However, as an early feminist, I made sure I was always financially, emotionally independent, so I trusted that I would be ok as long as I kept my mental faculties.
Then Covid hit, and my daughter and grandsons needed help, so my husband went up to Washington state (we live in Cal) and stayed for 5 months. First time living on my own, by myself, during lockdown. I was pleased at how well I did, although it did prompt me to work hard the past 5 years to get our home better ready for aging in place, and certainly the ability to talk to him, text, several times a day (as well as talk to friends through zoom and phone) helped. While I suspect my husband will out live me (or it will be me who might get dementia given family history) it did a lot to reassure me. But your newsletter is also doing a good job of reminding what there is for me to do to prepare for whatever does happen, so thank you for taking me on your journey.
"That’s become the foundation of my aging plan: to identify what’s true and works, what I can realistically do at this age, and what I want to do in 10 years. Then, to make choices accordingly, knowing that my body will continue to age and that modifications may be required." This is printed out and posted on my bathroom mirror. You said what I couldn't articulate to myself for the last couple months. Drill down and follow the above is all I need to do for my "fiscal goal" coming soon. Thank you. I always say you're my inspiration. This knocked it out of the park.
This is so important. We have to take full responsibility for ourselves now and in the future. But it is hard to project and think about deteriorating health. My parents are 88 and 90, so I think about this a lot.
Hi Lisa, You are very wise to be figuring that out. When you have it in mind, you have the opportunity to make so many healthy decisions early in life and set the stage for the later years.
Do you think about what you want to do when you’re 90, and are you taking steps today to support whatever that is?
I'm 79, husband is 85. As a young married couple in 1969 we made a conscious decision to make our health a priority and, likewise, to live within our income. We still exercise daily and encourage each other to keep going. Good lord willing and the creeks don't rise, we will be together many more years. I still remember myself at 21, the day I stood at my mother's grave and vowed to take care of my health. I'll never complain about being old, I view these many years of my life and my husband's as a gift and I am so thankful!
Hi Noel, you and your husband made some wise decisions. We prioritized income early in our marriage but waited until about 50 to work on the health side. We could have done better in that regard. That is so true; life is a real gift, and sharing it with your loved one is a double one.
I admire so much the way you boldly use phrases like "when I am 90" and "ten years from now". I sure wish I had your certitude, Janice. I have lived such a long, full life -- I cannot even imagine having another ten years. Every morning that I wake up and can still hobble to the coffee pot fills me with gratitude! Keep hammering away at us Janice. We need it! ha ha ha
Hi Sharron, I guess I think of it this way. Who knows what the future will bring, but I want to prepare just in case. I'd hate to be 90 and have to live with a basketful of health problems and not enjoy living. If I can do things now to help me, if there is a then, I want to do them.
Janet, this is such a wise post.
I agree with everything you've said and my husband and I (both 73) try to live our separate lives as well as our together lives. And we are fully into general fitness, a healthy diet and healthy minds.
We've just taken ownership of a new pup (phew!) and my husband works fulltime three days a week as an overseas media consultant which means he travels periodically.
In addition, as he does all our finances (although I handle everything for my writing brand), he is putting together a 'life' portfolio. I came across it on Pinterest and it's a large folio, detailing every aspect of our lives, divided with coloured tabs and with names, phone numbers, file numbers, etc., dates for bills to be paid and so forth.
We've also arranged for our Apple Mac man to set our computers up with a single password which then lets us into to a cache of any other passwords we might need.
Hopefully, if I'm left behind, it will guide me and if he's left behind, it's insurance as he ages. It's also vital information for our two children. It's quite a big job setting it all up though.
Hi Prue,
I had to smile; Dan made a life portfolio, and it definitely was a helpful document.
Hello Janice I liked your newsletter, Like you I did not leave home until I was married, from one group to another. I had no real responsibilities at home, but it was very different when I married.
During our 57 years together G and I have travelled back and forth from the North American Continent to UK twice, following his work, selling homes packing boxes and dealing with Children who were leaving their friends and all they knew. He was not there, He was waiting for us, or working so it was all done by me, Kids, Cat and baggage, on a 9 hour flight Interesting.!!
Although I have not travelled the World , in its truest form I have travelled, and now at 78 I am Caregiver, for my Husband who suffers from Dementia and all that goes with too.
As a Christian woman, I have always felt that God was with me, put people in my way when I need them, taught me things, when I needed it and now stands behind me when I am exhausted
My Key to aging in these circumstances is, Faith, family ,friends ,keeping active .laughter, love, painting writing, and my English Cottage, herb garden. It is doubtful I will see the Country of my Birth again, travelling is too difficult with G, But when my time comes to an end, I will go out knowing I did my Best. Here's a though, I believe Salsa Dancing is the rage, Can the arthritic knees do it I wonder?
Hi Liz, It sounds as if your plan is serving you well. Dancing is a healthy exercise for older adults, so it would be something to check into.
Thank you Janice for your inspirational message. I am recent widow - having lost my husband (my best friend) and my soul mate for 47 years. Please know how much I enjoy your post which I find very helpful.
Hi Cyndy, It's not easy to transition from wife to widow. I had no idea. If you have questions, feel free to ask and take care. Janice
So much the same for me, Janice. I had a career and was always active and playful but I knew my husband was always there for me. He cooked, fixed things, killed the spiders, planned our trips. When he passed away suddenly, I was so lost and clueless. My kids kept saying dad equipped you to carry on …and eventually that sunk in. Eleven years now and I’ve learned to live responsibly…but more day by day health, self care, clean home, eating well. I love your confidence and optimism to look forward ten more years! Looking ahead. I need to reframe my thinking! Going to visit my family in Australia ‘one more time’ should be again; and believe I could do it again in the years to come. Thank you for this nudge and kick-start to intentional responsibility for my future! Grateful and delighted with this post! ☺️❤️🥰
Joan, That's what it's all about, I think, reframing our thinking, not buying into the myths and other people's stories but creating our own.
Hi Janet. Like you, I tend to age well. I too am in the process of putting together a document with all the useful info in it. If anything happens to me then it will be my brother or nephew who have to piece it all together. I want to make it easy for them.
Hi Cali, I know what you mean. That is a high priority for me.
I call it my Death Doc. Cheerful!
Much like you I went right from childhood home, (to college dorm), to living then marrying my husband, so I never actually lived by myself. (I am 75 and been married over 50 years) And except for a few work trips and conventions, neither my husband or I were ever away from each other, certainly not for more than a week. And then when Covid hit, we had been retired for at least a decade, and had been and are together pretty much 24/7. However, as an early feminist, I made sure I was always financially, emotionally independent, so I trusted that I would be ok as long as I kept my mental faculties.
Then Covid hit, and my daughter and grandsons needed help, so my husband went up to Washington state (we live in Cal) and stayed for 5 months. First time living on my own, by myself, during lockdown. I was pleased at how well I did, although it did prompt me to work hard the past 5 years to get our home better ready for aging in place, and certainly the ability to talk to him, text, several times a day (as well as talk to friends through zoom and phone) helped. While I suspect my husband will out live me (or it will be me who might get dementia given family history) it did a lot to reassure me. But your newsletter is also doing a good job of reminding what there is for me to do to prepare for whatever does happen, so thank you for taking me on your journey.
Hi, It sounds like you are on a good track. . . and it's so wise to be prepared.
"That’s become the foundation of my aging plan: to identify what’s true and works, what I can realistically do at this age, and what I want to do in 10 years. Then, to make choices accordingly, knowing that my body will continue to age and that modifications may be required." This is printed out and posted on my bathroom mirror. You said what I couldn't articulate to myself for the last couple months. Drill down and follow the above is all I need to do for my "fiscal goal" coming soon. Thank you. I always say you're my inspiration. This knocked it out of the park.
Patti, That is so cool!! Be kind to yourself along the way. The biggest AHA for me was that I wasn't taking care of myself in the ways I needed to.
Interesting how age sneaks up on you. Maybe I don't have a hundred years left to do things. Whatta ya think?
I think I better not waste my time, just in case.
This is so important. We have to take full responsibility for ourselves now and in the future. But it is hard to project and think about deteriorating health. My parents are 88 and 90, so I think about this a lot.
Hi Lisa, You are very wise to be figuring that out. When you have it in mind, you have the opportunity to make so many healthy decisions early in life and set the stage for the later years.
A lot of wisdom in this newsletter, Janice. Well said!
Thank you, Chris.